You have to agree on good conditions for your child to retire. What's going on? If it were you, would you say good conditions? If it were in the past, I might not advise you to do this, but now I think it is better for you to do it. Just like this old man in the article, he will live a comfortable and comfortable life after doing this.
I never dared to think about the current retirement life. Isn’t the reason why I live so well because I have agreed on my child’s conditions when I am raising my child? Let’s take a look at this matter together, hoping that this matter can be learned by everyone. 67-year-old man: When raising children, I told them five requirements, which are the most correct things I did.
case story sharing person,
67-year-old Mr. Zhang:
Many people envy me and live so happily now, especially those of my friends. They asked me, why are your children so good to you, why are my children so bad to me, and then I told them that it is not that your children are bad, but because you did something wrong. If you do it like me and my children, I believe you will live a good life too. Then they told me again, "What did we do wrong? We will go to the children to retire like you."
We do everything on the child's side, and we give whatever they want, and we give whatever is wrong, we do everything we should do, and we do what we shouldn't do, but they won't treat you like your child. I think your child is very filial. If my child has half of your child's filial piety, that would be great. I told them that it was not your child who was unfilial.
but because you have heatstroke. If you go to their place to retire during this period, you have agreed to 5 conditions with them. Just like me now, then you will be very happy. Before you go to them, they should have agreed to 5 conditions. Although it may not be exactly the same, it is better to tell them in advance that it is better to make some things clear. Otherwise, they will be like you now, and they feel that you have no value for use.
Then they will treat you badly. My friend heard me joking like this and then stopped talking. I told them that people are very realistic. Once you think you have no value in use, you will be bad to you. Don’t say that your child is like this, even my child is different. But I have agreed with them 5 conditions.
Then now they won’t treat me like that, and you just don’t have any value in use, so you can’t treat you like that anymore. My children are nice to me because they think I still have value. Therefore, when the elderly go to their children to retire, they must tell them in advance.
Although the elderly lack children, then you must tell them these five conditions in advance when you retire. Otherwise, the waiting for you will definitely be a tragedy, just like my friends. So when the elderly go to their children to retire, they must tell them in advance to meet 5 conditions, otherwise, the waiting for you will definitely be a tragedy, just like my friends. I regret it now, but what's the use of regret now? If you agreed with them in advance about these five conditions, will this ending be the case? Just like what I am now, then I will be happy.
The first condition is that the house will not be handed over.
Just say that, a house is the last support for the elderly. If you have a house, you will have another choice in the future. If you don’t have a house, you can go back. If you don’t have a house, what should you do when you go. Can you make sure you live a happy life with your child?
You can make sure that your children don’t dislike you. If you have an old house, you can at least go back there to live there.No matter what your child says or calls you, you cannot sell the old house. They have their pressure and you have your own considerations. Once you help them, who will pity you if you don’t have an old house in the future? There are some houses on Thursdays, and there are some, and there are some, and people can return to their hometown after they die. This is called returning to their roots. If there are no old houses, where will you go when you die?
If you are not responsible for yourself, if you don’t give yourself an extra way out, who gives you an extra way out, do you think your child will take care of you? People are very realistic. If you don’t care about yourself, who will care about you? So you must be responsible for yourself. So even if you retire from them, you cannot sell your old house. This is the first condition.
The second condition is that the deposit cannot be handed over.
My children are under a lot of pressure in life. Although they spend more than 10,000 yuan a month every month, most of the mortgage and car loans are obtained, and the remaining few thousand yuan is not enough to spend. Then, after I went to their place to retire, they made up my savings idea. Don’t think that only my children are like this. I want to say that young people are the same nowadays. They have a lot of pressure in life, and then I think about asking their parents to help my children. I still have a deep understanding of this matter.
is not easy and difficult, and then they want their parents to help, which will make their parents hand over all their deposits. Many parents are too soft-hearted, or too good, so they hand over their deposits. Once there is no deposit, you are nothing. If you have deposits, you can still live your own life. Whoever gives you money and food if you don’t have deposits. Never be fooled by your child's sweet words.
They say this does not mean that they will do this in the future. What they say is their business. It is very likely that they are doing one thing. For children, we are half as long as we say it. The first thing we have to do is to be responsible for ourselves and then rely on them. If you listen to them, you will definitely regret it at that time, just like my friends, there is no way out now.
The third condition is that the pension cannot be called out.
I know that everyone has children in difficulty, and they also have their own difficulties, but don’t forget that as elderly people, we also have our own difficulties. Although you don’t have to do anything, you can only quit, and you don’t have to do anything, including me, and you have a pension of more than 2,000 yuan per month. But what I want to say is that we are old and how many years can I survive? If you have money in your hands, you will not have to worry about your life in the future, but what if you don’t have money?
After you give them your pension, you will lose money. What should you do then? At that time, I am afraid that you will not be able to call me every day. Just like my friend, you have to ask your child politely for money when you are sick. You can only go to see a doctor if your child gives you money.
If the child doesn't give money or the child is in a bad mood, no matter what you should do, so the pension cannot be given to them. Even if you want to give it to them, you will wait until you die. Anyway, it won't give it to them now, and there will be no loss to them. For you, there will be a great guarantee. If you don't have money, are you still afraid that you will not be taken care of in the future? How to take care of you if you don’t have money, and if you have money, they will rush to take care of you.
The fourth condition is clearly stated, I was not a nanny in the past.
Many elderly people think this way. If you can help, try to help. But has something happened to you and you will become a nanny? Just like my friends, I used to be the same, doing everything, and rushing to do everything. By this time you will find that no matter how much you do, in their opinion, your efforts are taken for granted. The more you do, they will not be better for you.
The more you do, the more you make them make you do. They think you should do this. They think you will not be tired. You do the housework and taking care of your children is rare. They are on holiday, but they still do nothing and sit there and wait for the meal. Don’t think that only my children are like this. What I want to say is that young people are the same nowadays, because you have done too much, because they treat you as a nanny.
That's why you will be so tired. If you do nothing or help do something within your ability, they will also help you, so that you won't be so tired. So when the elderly are gone, don’t be nanny, let them know clearly that if they are past, they are retirement, and if they are past, they are helping each other, not nanny.
The fifth condition, I also needed freedom in the past.
Many children are afraid of trouble, so after their parents go there, they don’t give their parents freedom, and do nothing for their parents. Sometimes friends even come to find your parents. I don’t want your parents to have any relationship with those friends. You are afraid of doing things, although doing so is good for your parents. But have you ever thought that if you want to do this, it will limit your parents' freedom, and you will not give your parents where to go to this place. Your parents are old and finally come here to support you.
Why can’t I go out to play? My friends feel pitiful when they don’t even give it a door. And I think many parents are like this, but I can’t hurry up when facing such things, but I’m different. I go wherever I want, and do whatever I want, but I will explain it to them in advance.
told them that I will go again. I told my child that I came here to support my elderly care. It is not that I would not have my own freedom when I come here. I can do whatever I want, but I will explain it to you in advance and go after you agree. But you cannot limit my freedom. I have my own friends and my own space. I can do whatever I want. This is the freedom that the elderly need, as long as it does not affect their lives.
is because of the 5 conditions I had agreed to them in advance that I would live so well now. If I didn’t say to them in advance, the result would not be like my friend. So when the elderly go to the children to retire, they must explain five conditions to them in advance. Of course, if you have any specific conditions, you will do it. Anyway, you must be responsible for yourself.
That being said, if you are not responsible to yourself, no one in this world will be responsible to you. Do you want someone to be responsible to you? You have to learn to be responsible to yourself, and then others will be responsible to you. Only in this way will your life get better and better. My friends just don’t want to be so clear about the difference with their children and don’t tell them about those conditions.
ended up having a miserable life. I believe that many young people don’t tell their parents about their conditions, and as parents, we are too soft-hearted. No matter how many of them are, they all have a miserable life. So if you want to live a good life and if you want to live a comfortable life, then you have to tell them good conditions. As long as the conditions are reasonable, I believe they will agree, and I also believe that you will live a better life because of the conditions you said.
Conclusion:
Sometimes some things are going to be like this. If you are wrong, who is responsible for you? So when you retire, you must tell them the conditions in advance, but the conditions must be reasonable. As long as the conditions are reasonable, I believe that no matter whether it is your son or your life will be better, only the conditions are reasonable, and only the conditions are reasonable, can only tell them the conditions.
Only when everyone lives better. If you don’t tell them the conditions, they will blow them up in various ways and blow them dry, and you will think of you at that time. If you tell them the conditions and agree on three rules, they will get better and better. So I hope that the elderly must pay attention when going to their children to retire.
If you can explain the conditions to them, try to make it clear. It does not mean that the conditions you tell them are ruthless. If you do this, you are not only responsible to yourself, but also to your children. If you live a good life, isn’t this responsible to your children? If you are not doing well, isn’t it the child’s fault? So do you do this for yourself and for your children to understand? Tell them that there is no problem.
