Introduction
To be honest, as a parenting creator, although Happy Dad has seen many cases of children being bullied, he is still optimistic that these situations are still far from the heart, or that there are few vicious incidents such as bullying on campus around us. Until I saw a happy unusual scene some time ago:
He usually likes to pull his parents and talk about things that happen during the day as soon as he gets home. Although he does not express it very clearly, he can also feel his mood, which is very happy.
But after coming back some time ago, the situation was abnormal. I happily returned to the bedroom and sat at the desk, without saying a word or moving. He didn't say anything when he asked him what was wrong, but he said he was a little tired after asking a lot.
He only told the truth before going to bed at night.
It turns out that he has been bullied by several "strong" classmates in school. For example, when he first entered the bathroom, others pushed the door from outside, and no matter how he called it, he would not open it; for example, when he walked in the corridor, Happy had to carry one of them on his back, or he would be surrounded by a group of people. For example, no matter what kind of game he played, those classmates would bully Happy together...
is not a big deal, but the impact behind it is very serious.
Isn’t this blatant school bullying? Unexpectedly, similar situations will occur in primary schools in our small city, and unexpectedly, such situations will occur in social interactions between children in primary schools.
is just a simple bullying now. What if this behavior escalates as they age? What if they do something more over-the-top and more dangerous to happiness? If Happy Dad doesn’t notice it, Happy will become depressed from now on, which will affect your studies and life?
What is even more incredible is that when Happy Dad teaches Happy, if something similar happens again, he must tell the teacher to help us solve similar confusions. The happy answer is:
, the students will never play with me again.
"If you don't XX, we won't play with you."
Yes, this is actually the real reason for campus bullying. It is because you are happy and dare not say no, dare not tell the teacher. Even if your father doesn't ask, he will not tell his parents why he will not tell his parents:
He is afraid of being isolated and afraid of having no friends.
This is actually not difficult to understand. For primary schools, especially children in lower grades, social needs are very strong.
They need to live and play with their friends and gain recognition among their peers; they also need to try basic social attempts such as cooperation and imitation with their friends. Through these basic attempts, they began to gradually understand the concept of "friends", and then gradually realized that true friends can rely on each other and help each other related knowledge.
As they grow up, this knowledge is constantly confirmed in the process of making friends with different friends, and their social abilities will be continuously strengthened.
Of course, this is normal. What about abnormal situations? It was the one who was happy to meet. Some children learned some bad things in advance and started to form cliques and trampled on other friends. They even used words like "We won't play with you" to force the other party to do what they think. The sentence
is simple to say, but it is very powerful.
After all, for many children, the formation of friendship requires being with other friends. Even if they are treated unfairly in the process, it is worth it to be bullied. It is precisely because of this that Kaixin has been bullied all the time, but he dared not resist anything.
And this way of socializing is far more cruel than that in the adult world.
isolate, and parents should tell their children 3 sentences
knows the problem, so it is easier to solve. In a situation like Happy, the reason is actually very simple, that is, it is not confident enough.
He always feels that he is not good enough, so he thinks to gain friends by making trouble for himself and please others. Even if he is forced to do some bad things in the process, he is willing to continue.
For parents, the most important thing they should tell their children is these three sentences.
You are very good, but not everyone will like you
Every child is unique and has his own shining points.
Maybe sometimes we are not tall and strong enough, but we act flexibly and quickly react; maybe sometimes our grades are not very good, but we are quick-thinking and able to come up with different ideas; maybe sometimes we write not too neatly, but we are creative and able to make beautiful paintings...
Every child is good enough in the eyes of parents, but just like what everyone likes is not the same, no matter how outstanding the children are, some will like it, and some will not like it.
For us, there is no need to get everyone's likes, nor do we become friends with everyone. Many times, just be friends with people who like us.
Choose to isolate your children. This behavior is wrong.
For children, they can choose not to play with others, but they cannot prevent others from making friends with others. The behavior of
is itself wrong, and for whatever reason, it is wrong. If we encounter this situation, we can tell them directly and stop it. If it doesn’t work, you need to tell the teacher or parents immediately to help you solve the problem.
What I am wronged with is not friends,
Friends are equal to each other, they can communicate and support each other, and move forward together and succeed together.
No one has a better position than anyone else. If sometimes you feel that when you get along with friends, you often need to feel wronged and often do things that you are not willing to do, or do some dangerous things that your parents do not allow, you need to consider the correctness of this friend.
After all, you need to be wronged to make friends with yourself, and they are often not true friends.
Last
As the child grows up, he is destined to encounter various setbacks and unsatisfactory problems.
For parents, what they should do is to pay attention to their children's situation in a timely manner, and when they encounter difficulties, give them appropriate help and correct guidance to help their children get out of difficulties smoothly.
Believe in yourself, express yourself bravely, and deny it bravely. This is the most powerful weapon given to your children by parents and the one who deals with school bullying.
text: Happy father’s diary. The picture is from the Internet. If there is any infringement, please send a private message to delete it. Thank you ~
