makes money by copying books and clocks in on the second day. First follow the rules and take a screenshot of today’s income chart.
Okay, without further ado, let’s officially start studying the second chapter of the book "Child, Give Me Your Hand".
The power of language: a better way to encourage and guide
1. Better praise than "You are awesome"
There is a scene we often see: when a child performs a show or gets good grades in an exam, or helps When parents do something, we usually praise their children with words such as "Baby, you are awesome", "You are so smart", "You are awesome" and so on.
In fact, this kind of judgmental and evaluative praise will make it easy for children to seek recognition from others and not dare to challenge difficult tasks, for fear of failing the challenge and losing the vain title of "I am the best." Praising children for their efforts makes them more confident to complete more difficult tasks.
Eight-year-old Menghan helped her mother clean the room and arrange things neatly. My mother, who came home from get off work, saw it and was both happy and moved.
She happily said to Menghan: The house used to be so messy, I can’t believe it, but now it has become so clean and tidy!
Menghan said proudly: I did it.
Mom: It must have taken a lot of effort from you.
Menghan: Yes, it took me a long time.
Mom: The house is so clean now and looks so comfortable.
Menghan: Well, our home is very beautiful now.
Mom: Thank you, my baby!
Menghan had a bright smile on his face: You're welcome.
Menghan's mother's words made Menghan feel happy for the fruits of her labor. She knew that her behavior could be praised.
If the mother praises Menghan like this: "You are such a good boy" and "You are such a good helper for my mother", this kind of general praise of character is not helpful to the child. Because in a child's pure heart, there is a huge distance between doing something like this and being a good child. She cannot accept it calmly, and she may even want to do something bad to balance this mentality. We often hear some parents say, "This child cannot be praised." In fact, this is the reason.
Words of praise should allow children to see the true status of their achievements. When praising, describe clearly and in detail what is worthy of praise, so that children can benefit from this information and appreciation, so that they will have greater confidence and courage to face greater challenges.
2. What should we do when our children make us angry?
Do we often encounter this situation: when our children make us angry, we can't help but yell at our children, or even insult and beat our children. But after the incident has passed, we feel extremely annoyed and regretful, and often secretly warn ourselves in our hearts that we will never do this again next time.
However, when our children piss us off again, we can’t help but repeat this scene again.
In fact, it is normal for parents to be angry. Parents are not saints, and they will get angry. It's just that as parents, we must release our anger correctly and avoid causing harm to ourselves and our children.
There is a saying that when you beat and scold a child, he may not stop loving you, but he will stop loving himself.
Beating and scolding a child when angry may make the child do even more unpleasant things. The so-called more and more irritating behavior means that the child no longer loves himself, is disappointed in himself, and simply breaks the jar.
Seven-year-old Doudou accidentally knocked over a glass of juice. Her mother saw it and said calmly: "The juice was spilled." Then she got up and brought Doudou another glass of juice. She also took a rag and put it in Doudou's hand and said, "Drink this glass of juice. Let's clean the floor together."
Doudou looked at her mother with grateful eyes, and then said happily: Okay.
Here, Doudou’s mother did not teach her daughter a lesson or tell her to be careful next time. Just state the matter and then give the child a way to solve the problem. This is to provide guidance to children when they make mistakes, rather than criticize.
Sometimes, when our children get into a lot of trouble and make us unbearably angry, some parents will suppress themselves to prevent their bad emotions from exploding. In fact, this method is not advisable. Our words and mood must be consistent, we must not hide anything, never speak insincerely, and show our children our true selves.
When we feel angry emotions coming, we must first warn ourselves to speak in the first person. If our short statements and long faces do not have an effect, then take the second step: express anger. strength. For example: I'm very angry, I'm very angry, etc. If it still doesn't work, use the third step: explain the reason why we are angry, express our inner thoughts, and the behavior we want.
In general, when we are unbearable, we can use this sentence pattern to speak: describe our mood + state the facts + solution
Of course, as an adult, we should try to be as angry as possible.
3. What should parents do with angry children?
12-year-old Yuxuan went out to watch a movie happily, but when he came home, he had a long face and frowned, sitting angrily on the sofa without saying a word.
The mother saw it, walked over, sat next to him and asked: Son, why are you angry?
Yuxuan: Of course I was angry. My seat was towards the back and I couldn’t see anything.
’s mother: Oh, I can’t see anything in the movie, so of course I’ll be unhappy.
Yuxuan: Mainly because there was a tall man in front of me blocking me.
Mom: Oh, the seat is further back, and there is a tall person in front of me. That’s really bad.
Yuxuan: It’s really bad. After
finished speaking, he quietly picked up a book and started reading.
The clever thing about this mother is that she did not criticize Yuxuan, nor give him any advice, nor ask some useless questions. For example, "Why didn't you choose a better place earlier?" or "Why didn't you change seats with the taller person?" If you say this, it will definitely cause the child to defend himself, and the result will be that the two people get more and more angry. , a quarrel is about to break out.
And this mother knows that when the child is angry, it is useless for you to reason with him. Only emotional comfort can make them listen. Therefore, what this mother is helpful to her child is to accept her child's emotions and help her child eliminate angry emotions.
So when it comes to responding to angry children, method is the most important. Accept your child's emotions and don't be too busy reasoning or giving advice.
Another way to respond to angry children is to write down our thoughts and feelings. This is a very good tool for emotional repair for both parents and children.
Another thing worth noting is that when we are angry, we must also tell our children that even if we are angry, our love for her will not change. Maybe they don't feel our love when we are angry, but it is only for a brief moment.
Because children love us much more than we imagine. They care about our feelings and are also afraid of being abandoned by their parents because they do not do well.
Ok, that’s the end of this chapter. Let’s briefly summarize:
When praising a child, praise his efforts and express gratitude to him. This can cultivate the child’s hope and confidence;
Treat children in a positive and positive way. encourage. Do not evaluate children, characterize them, or label them;
When trouble occurs, we must seek solutions instead of criticizing, blaming, or insulting.
tomorrow's exciting content preview: family education the eight easiest pits to fall into, see if you have been shot?
Thank you for taking the time to read it. If you have any questions, you can discuss them in the comment area.
