- "Yuexiangting·The Road to Financial Freedom" 595
Today, we start to talk about a book called "You are the best toy for children".
Why do you think the course "The Road to Financial Freedom" talks about children's education? You think: Why do we want to achieve financial freedom? After many people achieve financial freedom, do they hope to have more time to spend with their families? At that time, you are financially free and have free time, but your children see you like an enemy, or you do not have a very close relationship - —Do you think this financial freedom is meaningful? In addition, we are now accompanying our children on a cruise to Alaska. I also know that I need to grow in this aspect and practice it while accompanying my children. So I am talking about this book with you all. Get up and study. Kimberly Brain, author of
, is a child education expert in emotionally guided education. She proposed: You are more loved and fascinated by children than any toy. In other words: What children need most is not intellectual toys or TV programs. What they need most is you. What they really value most is happy time with you. Because people need to be valued and to be satisfied with emotional security, they need time alone with their parents without being disturbed, and they need to establish a lifelong close relationship with their parents.
But in real life, we will find that many parents and children have great obstacles or problems in communication. What are the reasons? In the discipline of children, parents often fall into some misunderstandings:
The first misunderstanding is that of controlling parents or permissive parents. Control and laissez-faire are two choices parents have for misbehaving children: Controlling parents usually use punishment, while laissez-faire parents give up on discipline.
For example, a child is playing on the slide with other children at KFC and has a lot of fun. At this time, it is time to eat. You ask the child to go home for dinner, but the child refuses. At this time, some parents repeat the instructions several times, and when they find that the child still refuses to listen, they forcefully take the child away. The child then becomes fussy and cries. Some parents will say, "If you cry again, I won't take you to KFC if you don't go back." Or, "If you cry again, you won't be allowed to watch TV at home."
are controlling parents who treat their children in a controlling manner. What will happen when the child grows up? There are usually several situations: either he will become particularly cowardly because he has been controlled since he was a child and has lost his self-confidence, and when he grows up, he will be a person easily controlled by fear; the other will become Especially controlling. Have you ever seen such a controlling person around you? But do you find that when he grows up, there are many things in this world that he can control? Very few, so such people are very insecure and will be particularly painful.
Then you say: If coercive measures are not enough, then just let it go, give full play to the child's nature, and let nature take its course - this will bring about a result of doting. For example, when it's meal time and he still wants to play, you let him continue playing for a long time. On the one hand, eating irregularly is not very good for the body, but what about the other one? Children have no sense of rules.
There are also some laissez-faire parents who say when their children cry: "It's okay, don't care about him. When he cries, just use it as voice practice and physical exercise." Some parents even say: "As soon as the child cries, you should take care of him immediately. If you hug him and coax him immediately, will that make the child dependent? "
Parents who use this method of control will actually cause even greater problems, that is, when the child grows up, he will appear. The problem is: he will extremely lack the sense of belonging to the team, because he will not get support and comfort when he is sad, so he will be overly dependent when he grows up. When such children grow up, they may join some groups that lack a sense of responsibility, such as gangs or social groups, because they can find a sense of belonging in them; in more serious cases, some may develop Internet addiction. Or addicted to it (River Crab).Why are these children so susceptible to addiction? It's because he doesn't have a sense of belonging! Only in that environment can he find his sense of belonging.
Then you say: "It's too difficult to be a parent. It's impossible to control it. It seems that it's impossible to ignore it." We will talk about the method later, that is, you have to plant the seeds. For example, wherever we take our children to play now, no matter how much the children have fun and how reluctant they are to leave that environment or place, my spouse only needs to say: "It's time, we are going home." Most of them. Under such circumstances, the child will obediently go home with us, just because she can plant the seeds.
For example, before going to KFC, she would tell her children: "How long should we play, and then at what time we will go home for dinner." After arriving at KFC, she would repeat it, 15 minutes or 20 minutes before the time. Minutes later, she still has to remind her child, "How long is it? We have to go home for dinner." At first, if the child is still unwilling to leave when the time comes, the mother will still patiently tell her: "We have already agreed that we will go home for dinner when the time comes." Sometimes the child will make conditions and say: "Mom , I will skate two more laps." Then let her skate two laps and say, "Then we will go home after two more laps." Often after N times, you will find that as long as the mother says "We are going home at that time", the child will happily go home with the mother - this is a habit.
In fact, no matter how young the child is, you must communicate with him. Don't think that he can't understand. Because in this process, children learn that any issues and problems can be solved through communication, because children have not learned to express their emotions and needs correctly at the beginning.
In fact, this topic should be discussed by my wife, because she is the real expert and practitioner in this field. We will see you tomorrow.
#Yeager System # provides you with long-term and continuous training in personal growth. This series is part of the #YeagerSystem# culture and is the text version of #王光浩# mentor’s album of the same name in Himalayas.
