Author: Main Creation Group ·Zhang Keli
Today, several relatives who were relatively close to each other simply got together for a meal.
After the meal, the old lady videoed her 7-year-old niece far away from home. The old lady complained, "If you don't come back, it's not lively this year."
Unexpectedly, Haohao, the son of my cousin, was a little unhappy, and asked the old lady, "What about me?"
The old lady and her cousin looked at each other, and at this time the little niece shouted loudly:
"Is it Haohao? You are also by your side. My grandma asked me to bring you Transformers when I went back during the winter vacation. Unfortunately, I can't go back this year. I'll bring you next time."
I have to sigh that my little niece has a very high emotional intelligence, and she actually saved the extremely embarrassing scene with one sentence. At the same time, she comforted two people, and no one offended me, an adult, and I am willing to give up the disadvantage.
No wonder Harvard once showed: "A person's success depends on IQ, and the other 80% depends on emotional intelligence."
Now it seems that this is true. Even if a child has a super IQ, he lacks emotional intelligence, lacks social skills, and boring speech. He may not be able to cope with emergency situations, and may even have troubles.
On the contrary, if a child has a high emotional intelligence and strong expression and thinking ability, he can easily resolve the difficult things in front of him and become more likely to gain favor from others.
So, if parents want to cultivate excellent and high emotional intelligence, they must pay attention to these five aspects of nurturing their children.
Children know how to speak well, making people comfortable
Cai Kangyong in "The Way to Speak":
"The more you speak, the happier others will be; the happier others will like you; the happier others will like you; the more others like you, the more help you get, the happier you will be."
agrees deeply.
The so-called high emotional intelligence means knowing how to speak well.
Some time ago, Yang Zishan took her goddaughter to her home to play while participating in the show.
When eating French fries, dumplings praised her godmother for "I feel you are so beautiful";
At the same time, they also praised her godmother for her cooking skills and her cooking is very delicious.
Even when her godfather deliberately "grabbed" her snacks, she could say openly: "It's okay!"
And although she is young, she knows how to take care of her younger brother than herself. Even the observer in front of the screen can't help but praise her emotional intelligence for making dumplings.
Everyone knows how to speak; being able to speak is a big problem.
Children who know how to speak well can make people feel the gentleness and inspirational power of gentle breeze and drizzle.
Children who don’t know how to speak well are unobstructed and poke people’s sore areas, making people want to retreat.
Every parent should let their children learn to speak well and praise and praise others more. Only such people can make people never get tired of it and feel happy.
Children have a sense of humor and are more competitive
British writer Wilde said: "The beautiful skin is the same, and the interesting soul is one in a million."
Huang Bo 's body is hidden.
At an interview meeting, Yan Ni said to Huang Bo: "The male stars I worked with before were all handsome men. If I play a couple with you, I knew I would become an ugly star." The implication was that it implied that Huang Bo looked ugly.
Huang Bo immediately said, "Then I will play with you, I will be in the ranks of handsome guys."
The perfect humor resolves his embarrassment and praises the other party.
Who doesn’t like someone with high emotional intelligence?
High appearance is certainly pleasing to the eye, but "humor" is the greatest reflection of a person’s personality charm. It is precisely because of this that Huang Bo’s star journey can become more and more spacious.
At the same time, people with a sense of humor are also more core competitiveness.
Once read a report that NASA recruited Mars astronauts, and a special requirement was to be humorous and funny.
It turns out that any mission to Mars requires a character like "humorous" or "class clown" to succeed.
And the role of these humorous astronauts should not be underestimated. They assume the responsibility of inspiring the team, maintaining morale, and uniting people.
So, having a sense of humor is an advanced social skill that is particularly popular wherever you go.
Children can be not handsome or beautiful, but they must not be humorous. As parents, they must cultivate their children's sense of humor from an early age.
Children have empathy and strong social skills
I still remember watching "Thinking a Way, Dad" before, Lee Seung-hyun , Qi Wei 's daughter lucky's performance is very impressive.
When lucky saw his friend john breaking up all the table tennis balls in the toy store, he couldn't help crying. Lucky took the initiative to help John pick up the balls;
Even when he had conflicts with the children, lucky could have the courage to admit his mistakes and apologize to the other party;
and acted as a "peacemaker" to resolve the dispute between the other two friends, making the last few children reconcile as before.
Even netizens in the comment section couldn't help but praise: "Lucky's emotional intelligence is too high, and he is very empathetic."
Yes, children with empathy can put themselves in their shoes to perceive and understand other people's feelings and better resolve conflict situations.
Only a child who knows how to think from the perspective of others can understand the wisdom of communicating "do not do to others what you do not want others to do to you".
If your child knows how to take care of other people's feelings and controls the degree of getting along with each other, in the future, he will be more calm and leadership than other children in various social occasions.
children have strong self-emotion management ability
The so-called high emotional intelligence is, first, it is to be able to recognize one's own emotions, and second, it is to be able to manage one's own emotions well.
A friend told me something. In the mall, I met a lost little boy, who was about 6 or 7 years old.
I was a little anxious because I couldn't find my mother, and tears were all in my eyes. But the boy still held back and did not cry, calmly told his friend the cause and effect of the loss and the parents' contact information.
Finally, I was able to contact the little boy's mother successfully. When the mother saw the child's strong appearance, the mother asked, "You didn't cry, why are you so awesome?"
The boy choked and said, "Mom, when you told me before that when you wanted to cry, you can take a few deep breaths first, so that you won't be afraid."
can't help but sigh, the boy knows how to regulate his negative emotions.
He can keenly detect his fear, anxiety and fear, put them aside first, and solve the urgent problem of getting separated from his mother at the moment.
Emotional management ability can be said to be the core manifestation of a child having high emotional intelligence.
When a child knows how to regulate his emotions, he will not lose control of his emotions because he is too impulsive.
And children who can manage their emotions well when they were young can naturally control their lives when they grow up.
Children are optimistic and do not easily defeated by setbacks
Children with high emotional intelligence have one of the most obvious characteristics, that is, can maintain a humble learning mind when it is high, and can hold on when it is against the wind and fight back when it falls to the bottom.
strong heart and always have a positive attitude.
A little boy named Ling mustered up the courage to challenge the 10-segment jump box that he had been failing on the last day of his graduation ceremony in kindergarten. The accumulated height of the
0 segment jump box is half a body higher than that of others. I tried repeatedly, but failed repeatedly.
Hard work pays off. With another run-up, Ling captured 10 blocks and jumped the box, and the audience applauded thunderously.
Ling can adjust his mentality instantly when facing setbacks, turn sadness into strength, and face difficulties, deeply highlighting the tenacity of children with high emotional intelligence.
When children with low emotional intelligence face difficulties, they are prone to falling into a dilemma due to lack of ability to deal with and adjust and do not know how to deal with their mentality.
As a parent, you must constantly cultivate your emotional cognition and do a good job in mentality management, so that your child has the courage to face the unknown ups and downs of life.
" The father of emotional intelligence " Daniel Gorman said: "People with high IQ may not have achieved success in their careers, but people with high EQ will definitely perform extraordinary."
Because children with high EQ have good personality and good popularity, they are more popular even when facing failure, they have stronger self-healing ability.
Compared with IQ, emotional intelligence can truly determine a child's life height.
When a child was young, he could be said to be childish and ignorant.
When you grow up, if people feel uncomfortable when dealing with others, others will quietly stay away from him.
So, when the child is still young, parents have an unshirkable educational responsibility, and parents should set an example and become their children's emotional intelligence coaches.
If parents always talk to people in a complaining and sarcastic tone, then the child will learn to be indifferent and mean;
If parents always complain casually and like to lose their temper, then the child will become irritable and irritable and has difficulty controlling his emotions.
However, if parents can teach their children to understand, tolerate, and think from the perspective of others, then the children's world will be full of verbal kindness and tolerance of behavior, and they can grow into a positive and high emotional intelligence child.
IQ determines the lower limit of the child, and emotional intelligence determines the upper limit of the child.
I hope every parent can become the best emotional intelligence teacher for their children. Never let the emotional intelligence class that children lose when they were young become a social crisis that was rejected when they grew up.
together!
Author: Zhang Keli, a dreamer who is curious about life, a researcher who analyzes human nature, only writes words that are both gentle and sharp.
New Oriental Family Education (ID: xdfjtjy), a parenting platform for millions of parents to follow, conveys the concept of professional family education , provides family education information at home and abroad, and shares absorbable and operational methods and suggestions. Make continuous learning a family habit.
