"A Generation of Lost Gods" Dazai Osamu said: I have always tried my best to avoid friction between people, and I am afraid of getting involved in such a whirlpool. The words that came out decades ago are increasingly winning the hearts of today's young people, who have labeled themselves a more fashionable label - "social terror".
Social phobia, the full name of "social phobia", also called social anxiety disorder, is a mental illness. The "social fear" among contemporary young people is naturally not a mental illness, it is just a label and self-deprecation for themselves.
At the same time, a symptom called "social cow" has also become popular on the Internet. "Social fear" and "social cow" are like two sides of contemporary human beings, reflecting the social life of contemporary people and the changes in modern urban life.
01. Urban People in the 18th Century: The Peak of Sheniu
If we want to understand why modern people are silent, we have to go back to the 18th century, where the secret of modern people's silence is hidden.
If you use one word to describe people in the 18th century, you can use "social cattle" to describe them. How social were people at that time? There are three short stories to illustrate.
Let’s first look at what people wore in the 18th century. If you want to become a social cow, you must not be afraid of the eyes of others. People in the 18th century did this very well. They seemed to go out of their way to attract attention, and the more eye-catching their clothes were, the better.
8th century people dared to wear it. Both men and women like to wear wigs. Women also like to add a lot of hair accessories to their wigs. If you travel to Paris, the fashion capital of the West in the 18th century, you will see ladies wearing all kinds of messy things in their hair, such as model ships, fruit baskets, and even historical scenes composed of miniature figures.
People’s faces are also painted with various colors, some are painted with exaggerated red, and some are dim white. People also wear masks for fun.
Why do people dress like this? It was because the number of strangers in the city increased sharply at that time, and the feudal hierarchical order tended to collapse. Everything was in chaos. People wanted to find order in this chaos, and clothing could give people a sense of order.
Some people may ask: People are dressed so messily? How to give people a sense of order? The original was the way people dressed at that time, which was as particular about as Chinese drama. Take Peking Opera as an example: White face is a symbol of treachery, red face is loyal, brave and upright. People apply the dressing skills they learned in the theater to their daily lives, which creates a strange sense of order.
Therefore, dealing with people in the 18th century is simpler than it is now. What a person dresses up means what kind of character he wants to play. You only need to deal with him according to the appearance he performs.
The second point is that we can see the social behavior of people in the 18th century in the theater.
The Paris theater in the 18th century was very lively. The audience is not like people nowadays who have to keep quiet during the performance, but are keen to express their emotions. When an actor performs well, he applauds wildly, and when an actor forgets his words, the audience bursts into laughter. The audience even walked around the stage as they pleased, waving to their friends when they saw them. Sometimes the audience mingled with the actors and were completely exposed to the audience's sight. These people did not feel embarrassed at all. In fact, they sometimes enjoyed this situation.
One of the reasons why people were so arrogant in the theater was the concept of people at that time. The audience at that time regarded actors as servants. Since they are servants, they don't need to respect them too much. Therefore, a scene of freedom in the theater was staged.
The third place that can show the social status of people in the 18th century is in the cafe. The cafes at that time were not very quiet, and could even be said to be quite lively and full of people. Strangers liked to talk. A cup of coffee allowed people to speak freely and exchange their opinions and information with each other. Anyone has the right to join the conversation, regardless of whether they know the person opposite or not.
Such behavior made coffeehouses in the 18th century become information centers at that time. Some coffeehouses even began to edit and print their own newspapers in order to attract customers. Business activities that relied on information, such as insurance, also developed from coffeehouses. For example, London's insurance organization Lloyd's developed from a coffeehouse in London.
In short: People in the 18th century are modern people who have just entered a new era. They live out the most ideal side of society. People are willing to talk to strangers and gain new knowledge. Because it is a field of strangers, people also learn how to judge the quality of information and become modern people in the true sense.
02. Urban people in the 19th century and after: people began to be socially fearful
By the 19th century, people could no longer be as social as people in the 18th century, and it could even be said to have become socially fearful.
We can see this kind of social fear from the fashionable clothing and behavior of people at that time.
First of all, the clothes worn by people in the 19th century can be summed up in four words: boring and boring. The entire middle class clothing is boring and mediocre. People try to maintain a neutral dress. Men's clothing is becoming more and more simple. People are increasingly looking down on people who dress weirdly. They can't wait to put themselves in a suit, really wearing a suit.
The second is a new concept that emerged in the 19th century: everyone has the right not to be disturbed, and people began to become silent. Not easy to applaud during performances, not easy to talk in cafes, not easy to talk in bars and clubs.
In silence and isolation from each other, people release their inner depression through fantasy and daydreaming, and observe life on the streets.
At this time, people withdraw from life with strangers, not only are they afraid of society, but they also become more at home. There is a popular song in the 19th century that can fully explain people's tendency to stay at home: home, sweet home, family is increasingly becoming the center of people's lives.
This kind of social fear and silence continues in the 20th and 21st centuries, and has no tendency to get better at all. As a sentence says: "There is no community now, only the feast of individuals, and individualism causes loneliness. Individuals are silent in the city and no longer talk."
03. What causes people to be afraid of strangers socializing?
One reason is the emphasis on speed in modern life. Especially after cars became mass transportation, people spent a lot of time commuting. The car is an independent private space, which also gives people a sense of speed. People sitting in the car see the scenery and speed, but it is difficult to spend time interacting with strangers.
The second is the development of media. Why does say this? Let's think back to people in the 18th century. At that time, people could talk to real humans. If they didn't understand something well or wanted to hear it again, they could pause or interrupt it and have it repeated. However, the mass media represented by television after the 20th century cannot interrupt, and all people can do is remain silent.
Over time, people have lost the ability to communicate with others, and can only remain silent, and silence is compounded by fear.
04. Get out of social fear and live your true self
One difference between modern society and traditional society is that modern society is a society of strangers. If you want to get better, you must learn to overcome social fear and learn to communicate with strangers.
Richard Coker said it best: Human beings come into contact with people who are different from themselves and learn about patterns of thought and behavior with which they are unfamiliar...The importance of it cannot be overestimated.
So how to get out of social fear? You can choose to accept yourself. There is no need to put a negative label on your "social fear".
read an article that said, "People have their own subjectivity when faced with problems. When faced with the issue of "social fear," you can try to understand social fear. Whether you change or not, it all depends on you. Everything is OK.
You can also try to challenge yourself to get rid of "social fear" and become more positive. Some people choose to participate in scripted killings or video games. Through these, they enter a new social field and may make some new discoveries about themselves.
After all, no one is an island, so don’t be trapped on your own “island” and come out bravely!
References
. [US] Richard Sennett: "The Decline of the Public Man", Shanghai Translation Publishing House, 2014.
. "I have the most say on the matter of social fear" - New Weekly
