When I was anxious and depressed, I often deeply analyzed myself and my childhood experiences. This comes to mind the family of origin ; the family of origin, in psychology, many counselors will also understand the patient's growth experience and environment, so that they can understand themselves. My family of origin and the impact of it;
Regarding my family of origin, I live in an ordinary working-class family. I was born in the 1980s. In the era when I was born, I was a person who should not have been born, because I also have a sister who was born in the late 1970s.
At that time, my parents insisted on giving birth to me. In order to give birth to me, my parents were punished, their wages were reduced, and their professional titles were also affected; I have the impression that I was happy when I was very young;
When I wanted to When I realized that I was unhappy, I probably started in elementary school, because among my peers, including my relatives, at that time, every family had only one child. My family was very special, with two children. The excitement was lively, but it also brought certain financial difficulties to the family. , so my mother was very frugal because she had to raise two children;
Later, when I was in junior high school, I felt particularly inferior, because at that time, I often went to their homes with my good friends, and first of all, they had their own independent houses, which I didn’t. , when I was young, I lived in a bunk bed with my sister; secondly, I went to their house, and their houses were all decorated with the fine decoration of that era, while my house was still on the cement floor. I was very envious of them. Not only that, they all had more pocket money than me, and I had almost no pocket money.
I remember that after junior high school, my pocket money was often given by relatives and grandparents. My mother has a very strong personality and likes to be aggressive. She has a bad temper. She especially likes to blame others for the smallest things. , so my mother often quarreled with my father many times; but despite this, my mother was very responsible to us, but my father was the opposite. He especially liked to play, play mahjong, drink, and make friends. I remember when I was young, he often came back late from playing, and sometimes even He didn't come home for two or three days in a row;
When I reached high school, I began to dislike him very much. I felt that he was not very responsible and unmotivated. What was even more unfortunate was that my father was unfortunately laid off after the restructuring of the state-owned enterprises. At that time, it was like adding insult to injury to our family. My sister and I were both studying, which made the family's finances very difficult. After my father was laid off, he never found a job, because it was not easy to find part-time jobs at that time. After my father stayed at home for a long time, he found some jobs similar to security guards through my uncle's connections.
hit me harder and harder at this time. When I was in junior high school, my grades in the first and second grades were better than those in elementary school because I particularly liked our class teacher. But when I changed my class teacher in the third grade, I started to learn bad habits and played with some classmates who were more troublesome in school. I felt that like them, I would live a better life. Indeed, because of my choice, no one dared to bully me in school, and I could even order others, so I didn’t do well in junior high school. I didn’t go to high school, but went to a technical secondary school, and went out to work in society for a year or two; In fact, I really wanted to succeed, but at this stage, I met my first love, and she can be said to be the beauty of our class. So I pursued her hard, and then we got together. When I was about to graduate from college, I was particularly worried about not being able to find a job. Then I had half a year to graduate from college, so I went to find a job internship and do computer-related work. I worked hard in the hope of realizing myself and making myself better so that I could be with my first love.
I am about to graduate. My girlfriend invited me to her house. Her mother wanted to meet me. She has never been to my house once, because I have low self-esteem about my environment to the core. I am afraid that he will look down on me when he sees this kind of environment at home.
That day I was extremely nervous and anxious. Her family was much richer than mine. Her family was in the wine-selling business. It happened to be Friday, and almost all her relatives came back for dinner. There were many people there, and I was very nervous about eating. After dinner, my girlfriend came to the kitchen, and I followed her, wanting to help her wash the dishes. She said No, I really hope it ends quickly. After she finished her work, I followed her to her room;
arrived on the second floor. As soon as we sat down, her mother came up after a while, greeted us, and then asked a question that I was most afraid of her mother asking. She My mother asked me what did your parents do, and I said they were ordinary workers. I felt that after answering this question, I didn’t even know what I was talking about;
By the afternoon, I already wanted to leave her house, but her mother’s client said to stay, but I still persisted. Before I left, my girlfriend took me to the station, and I got on the bus. I felt relaxed, but also a little bit sad. I was thinking how great it would be if my parents were a little richer, or if my family had some connections and could find a stable job, but that was impossible, and we separated not long after.
After graduating from college, I worked hard. I studied computers, so I wanted to rely on computer help to realize my dream technically. However, after working for a long time, there was no big breakthrough in terms of income. I worked for many different companies, and there was no big breakthrough in technology.
later had the opportunity to work in a foreign-funded company that produced microhard drives and . At that time, I felt that I had come to the right place. After staying there for a while, there was no big breakthrough. After a while, some colleagues from key universities came to this company. They are all older, they are all in their 30s, and they live in the same dormitory as me;
After a long time, and we became familiar with each other, I asked them what kind of job is the most profitable in Shenzhen. My colleague told me, I don’t know what kind of job is the most profitable, but what? My friends and classmates who work in sales are now either their own bosses or senior executives, and they can make money; so at that moment, sales work came into my eyes, and it didn’t take long for me to quit my job and prepare to find a job in sales.
After resigning, I remember that my first sales job was probably selling software, specifically to the government. Because I graduated from a computer major, I thought a job with a technical content like selling software would be more suitable. For me, the company gave me a lot of resources at the beginning and asked me to go to these government agencies on my own, but I was basically rejected because the leaders saw me as a little brat and told me to put down the information and let’s learn more about it;
didn’t pass Not long after I resigned, I found another company that also developed this kind of software and developed . I also called everywhere to find customers. Later, I was confused. Sometimes, when I was so panicked, I would go downstairs from the elevator and walk around the company a few times before returning to the company. I continued to call the office, and soon I left the company; after that, I went to several companies, and even sold Lenovo computers in a specialty store. I thought to myself, why do I sell more and more low-end products? Selling computers in a company like this is something we only do as an intern. I was confused.
Then one day, our local Civil Affairs Bureau Information Center was recruiting, and I applied for the job. It was similar to an information calling platform, with Internet advertising attributes; from here, I began to understand advertising, and I worked very hard here. I remember that we had at least more than 20 salespeople at the time. I was like crazy every day, calling the classified ads in the evening newspaper, dozens of times a day; my colleagues either laughed at me, or said that my brothers will be successful in the future;
After a period of hard work, I signed a 5,000 yuan order. At that time, this was the only order that was sold through the market. Our other orders were all distributed by the government. This gave me a great sense of accomplishment. However, I soon left the company;
I went to another magazine company, which specializes in real estate advertising. Here, all sales are women, and I am the only male, so I am very passive in the sales business. The people in charge of real estate, whether they are bosses or directors, are almost always men.
So, I have been doing business, but there is no result. What I remember more vividly is that once, there was a female real estate manager. I felt that my female colleague was kind-hearted that day. She gave me a new magazine and asked me to give this Because the female leader is far from the city to the suburbs, it takes a bus from the company, which takes more than an hour each way. When I arrived at the scene, I remembered the woman's last name was Zeng, so I said, Director Zeng, I am from a certain real estate magazine. This is our latest magazine. I came to visit you. I am a colleague of such and such.
After listening to this, Director Zeng said, "Just put down the magazine and I'll stay for a while. I think I took the bus for more than an hour to get to your place, and you just said this. It really pissed me off. I took the bus for more than an hour to get back to the company. It really pissed me off." Not long after, I told my boss that I was leaving. The boss was a woman. She told me that you were not suitable for sales. I asked why, and she said because you have too much self-esteem like me. I didn’t have the heart to listen to what she said because I had previously contacted an advertising company that specializes in radio stations and planned to go for an interview on the weekend.
When I came to this company, even though there were more than 20 salesmen who were interning with the company at the time, I felt that I was in the right place, because this company has many forms of media and is a relatively large private enterprise in our local area. , and more importantly, I have accumulated a lot of experience in the past few years. My sales experience and network resources were gradually realized in this company; in the end, I stood out from more than 20 salesmen, and I was the only one left. That year was 2006, and I was just 25 years old. I was very lucky to find the job I wanted to do most at the age of 25. Then at the age of 26, I found my love, bought my first car, and bought my first house.
