Speaking of psychology, it is necessary to mention that psychology is applied in our lives. Today, I would like to share with you a few often overlooked psychological skills to make you live a relaxed and wise life.
01
First of all, share a thing I have experienced myself.
Previously, I was always troubled by a problem.
cares very much about other people's comments. They often get angry because they are misinterpreted or misunderstood, and sometimes they can't help crying with grievance.
Especially in the workplace, the direct attacks of a strong boss often make me collapse on the spot.
When I told my best friend who had never cared about other people's comments and asked her for help, she kept comforting me, don't care about such people, if you don't work, just leave your job and don't be wronged.
But, can resignation really solve the problem?
By chance, I found a point in psychology that made me suddenly realize:
"A person values self-evaluation or his evaluation, is related to the development of self-identity.
The so-called self-evaluation is the so-called self-evaluation.
Identity means that individuals have a clear understanding of themselves "what kind of person is" and "what kind of person they want to be", and this cognition is very stable and not easily disturbed by external forces, but they will correct their own route according to useful suggestions.
Based on this, I learned a very effective way to establish self-identity. Take me as an example.
Once my boss When I was doing the summary report, the dimension was too single, lacking reference, and lack of persuasion.
If it were the past, I would be very hurt. I felt that he was deliberately amplifying the problem. And if he said this in public, what would others think of me, but I couldn't help but silently doubt myself in my heart. Is it really not capable, and then I went back with resentment and despair.
Now, my approach is (key points):
1. What is my goal? ——Be an excellent white-collar worker and realize your own value.
2. Is he right? ——I think it is right.
3. Find your own gap, change, practice, and improve.
Same, if I think what he said is wrong, I will first affirm it in my heart. I, not being led by emotions, and then I will tell my ideas to the leader in detail one by one.
is a very simple but very useful way that allows me to find myself in various voices and comments from the outside world, know what I should care about and why I should not be internally affected.
Nowadays, I not only have a great improvement in my work, but my leader can also put aside the negative attitude at the beginning and discuss more possibilities with me. In life, because you don’t care so much about other people’s evaluations, your emotions become much more stable and calm.
I have to be amazed that psychology is useful.
Always say a few words to let you see the essence of the problem and find a solution when you think you are in a quagmire, powerless and desperate. tml402
similar to simple but easy-to-use psychological skills, and there are many more.
For example, many introverts are afraid of socializing and speaking, but often they have to socialize, and even give speeches every day due to work needs. At this time, we often tend to habitually retreat or give up. There is a trick in psychology that can help you. Do "Imagine Challenge Coping Method" .
means to imagine how we deal with challenges when they come, which can increase our sense of control, and the more precise and detailed the description, the better the effect.
In a study, women who were pregnant for the first time were asked to imagine and describe the scene of childbirth. Those women who were most accurately and detailed showed the least concern about the upcoming childbirth.This imagination is not a daydream, it is more like a cognitive rehearsal that can be used to deal with stressful situations.
For example, for many people, change is something that is both desire but difficult to do, let alone affecting others to change their behavioral habits. But often we all yearn for our partners, parents, and children to make some behavioral changes.
For example, if you have 4 old html people at home, you are easily fooled by some advertisements or salesmen to buy inferior three-no products. After teaching him how to distinguish the authenticity, don’t believe it easily, turn your head and forget it, and sometimes even make the relationship rigid. How can the elderly change their minds?
First of all, we have to analyze why this method of persuasion does not work?
In fact, in psychology, there are two ways to change attitudes. is called the central path, which refers to changing attitudes through direct deep cognitive processing. is the method you might use just mentioned. I will analyze it in detail where these things are bad, how bad this trademark is wrong, and what evidence shows that this thing is a three-no product.
However, due to the degenerate cognitive resources of the elderly, they may not be able to use enough resources to think carefully and consider which one is better or worse, just like young people. Although this approach may work well among young people, it is not as effective for older people and can even backfire.
At this time, we need to use the second method of , called the peripheral path, or the edge path. means that you do not directly do deep cognitive processing to tell you what’s wrong; instead, use actual cases to tell him:
Do you know Mr. Wang next door? He just believed the salesman and bought something. As a result, he went to the hospital after taking it, etc. He kept telling the old man about this kind of negative cases, and he had to be more careful. Isn’t it really not good? Gradually, he felt that he could not buy it. After a while, their attitude of buying things when he heard the promotion was reversed.
I don’t reason with you, I just tell you stories, inspire you through experience, and influence your behavior intuitively and emotionally. I hope you can change your attitude. This kind of persuasion method is often more effective. Of course, this story needs to be well-founded and cannot be fabricated at will.
This is the magic of psychology . may not be able to make you successful all at once, but it can make you live better and more understandable, allowing you to truly grow from the inside out and become a better self.
