Write a reading note for each book, and the first chapter of 55.
"How to deal with the difficulties in your heart" is a senior psychological counselor, Mr. Yu Dezhi, who analyzes the root causes of psychological distress from the perspective of professional psychology, and records it with real situations to teach you how to get out of psychological dilemma step by step.
The answer given by the author is to observe in your own life, understand the operating rules of the psychological world, and then, based on this clear understanding, automatically stay away from all harmful reaction patterns and start a passionate life.
So we must carefully observe and experience and discover the laws of the psychological world based on our own life. Whether you want to help your family members who are in psychological difficulties or want to deal with your personal psychological difficulties, you can use it.
I heard a saying: We hold the wrong map in our hands and always cannot find the destination. Just like we are in trouble, not because we don’t work hard enough, but on the contrary, we work hard, but the direction is wrong. So to get out of the predicament and solve the problems in our hearts, the first thing we need to do is to understand what we have encountered.
There are six core truths about mental pain.
1, We have no freedom of movement.
2, In bad feelings, we do not have the ability to act effectively and perform.
3, Everyone's behavior faces a variety of needs.
4, All pain comes from the transfer of attention.
5, Thinking is the cause of division, not the solution to the problem.
6, Everyone's psychological pain can be solved in one action at once.
The core of solving problems is the mechanism of psychological pain, which is based on perceiving life and creating expectations. This is the basis of all psychological pain. Therefore, if you want to solve problems, you need to clearly understand the mechanism of the occurrence, development and disappearance of pain, which is the root of pain. The view in the book
: All psychological pain is the result of self-activity, and it is the field that can be involved in by the self rather than others, the environment or past encounters. Happy emotions make us feel happy. The painful process is that attention is separated from the real world and enters the process of "observer" based on experience and automates language measurement, comparison and selection.
For example: frustration is that reality cannot meet the observer's expectations; happiness is that reality exceeds the observer's expectations; satisfaction is that reality fulfills the observer's expectations; loneliness is that the observer cannot find his own relationship with others; despair, the observer tells himself that everything is destined and futile, everything is meaningless, etc.
If we automatically respond based on instincts or habits, our psychological world will fall into disorder and chaos. Then we must rely on ourselves to end psychological pain. Understand the division and opposition between observers and reality.
So let the observer disappear temporarily and focus on the real world, and psychological pain can effectively end. The methods provided by the author are meditation and mindfulness practices in life.
Specific operation methods for using meditation to run through daily life:
1, Clearly recognize your emotions. For example, if you notice that you are very nervous, try to use abdominal breathing to help yourself relax.
2 and divert attention. When the brain tells negative stories, we can adjust our attention from a perspective and tell a positive story again.
3, , feel your emotions and do not interfere with any conscious intervention. For example, when we are angry, focus on the angry body.At the same time, pay attention to the thinking experience. When one thought after another continues, I must be angry, otherwise I will be bullied, I cannot show weakness, or I need to adjust my breathing to relax my body and divert my attention to change my emotions. This is the process of the emotional self disappearing.
4, The truth of life is not the experience at this moment. When we are aware of it truthfully, we must understand the mechanism and structure of psychological pain and avoid traps. Have the wisdom to stay away from traps and dangers and pursue the value and meaning of life.
Stay away from all false, conflicting, and dangerous reactions, and let attention return to reality naturally. This is the wisdom brought by life meditation. It will end all fearless conflicts and bring abundant physical resources to us love and live more enthusiastically.
