Author of this article | Li Tiaoqiong
Edit this article | Ms. Dong
Illustration source | Hulu Head
on duty | Xuanhe
Today's introduction
Edit on duty | Xuanhe
Today's introduction
She was once a top student in an ordinary high school. When she was assigned to the class, she was admitted to the first place in the class. However, a depression changed her life trajectory. She was attacked by the symptoms of depression and was unable to continue the high-intensity learning rhythm, so she took a break from school and went home.A year later, she made a helpless choice to study in a vocational high school and strive to get into a bachelor's degree. She overcame her anxiety about returning to school step by step and finally adapted to the new environment.
Although her pace of life was lengthened and slowed down by depression, she has been working hard to make rational and sober choices in . Maybe in the future, will have a lot of troubles and setbacks waiting for her, but she believes that she can stick to .
Process is a more important existence than purpose. Whether it is success or failure, it is just an accompaniment. The wonderful process, as long as you are determined to create, cannot be deprived of by anyone.
Hello everyone, it has been nearly four months since the last submission. In these few months, my life has changed a lot. (Review of the author's previous experience: )
I returned to campus and transferred from the general high school where I was studying to a vocational high school. I also from moderate depression and to normal life by drug reactions, and improved to the fact that only needs drugs to assist sleep. This is a great improvement for me.
Below, I will share with you my experience of resuming school, hoping it will be helpful to everyone.
I transferred from the top student in the class to the top student in the vocational high school
Before I decided to transfer to the vocational high school, I was a student in the top class of the general high school. When I was in the liberal arts and science class, I entered the class first. It can be said that my grades were very excellent.
From childhood to adulthood, I have been a "addicted to learning" person and enjoy the joy brought by learning. But at the same time, I am also a sensitive and inferior .
My personality is introverted and not talkative. I have no other characteristics that can be shown in addition to exam and study. There are always people around me who keep "warning" me to talk more and be extroverted. It seems that my introvert is a mistake, which makes me often feel that I am not as good as others.
Although I studied well, my parents have never made any requests for my academic performance. My mother said the most to me, so don’t be proud. In fact, I really want to get my parents’ recognition and care for me. No matter how much praise others praise me, it is not as good as a cup my mother bought for me personally. Because of this reason, I feel very empty in my heart and often feel indifferent in the crowd.
Later, I took a leave of absence due to depression. During the year of taking a leave of absence, I began to realize that I want to learn to change, I have never been a "nerd" in their eyes. I read some books, fell in love with the puzzle, and learned to play chess.
Speaking of general highs, in Hebei's Hengshui mode, almost every general highs have similar systems, and I can't adapt to it when I eat at such a hurry. I don’t have time to have a good meal, which makes me long-term stomachache and fatigue. I can’t imagine how I should spend the faster-paced study life, so I took a break from school.
While at home, I learned that vocational high school has the right college entrance examination. As long as I have enough scores, I can go to undergraduate. So I had the idea of transferring to vocational high school and communicated with my mother many times.
She felt very unwilling to accept that I was as outstanding as I used to be, but now I am going to go to a vocational high school, but she is also afraid that if I continue to study in a general high school, my emotional condition will be worse. For this reason, she cried several times. Later, finally, with the comfort of my friend's mother, she helped me transfer.
In fact, how can I be content? As an excellent student since I was a child, I have always dreamed of taking the Communication University of China . Now I have suddenly become a bachelor's degree. I even considered a single move before. I have always endured the feeling of loss caused by this huge gap.
My pace of life was stretched and slowed by depression, jumping from one place to another, and I could only comfort myself, maybe this is life.
relieves resuming anxiety and adapting to the new environment
In fact, before the start of the semester of vocational high-tech, I was very anxious. I took a break from school and stayed at home for a year, and I learned almost nothing. I don’t know what the vocational high school matches the college entrance examination should be studied, nor do I know what the difficulty of the exam faced when I went there. I searched for some vocational high school questions online, but I became even more worried because I found that I couldn’t even know the most basic ones.
For this reason, a few days before I went to the new school to report, I often dreamed of the previous teacher appearing in the new school at night, and seriously asked me why I couldn’t do it.
During those days, I put my previous books and notes on the table. After doing a few questions, I became more decadent. After that, I put all those things aside and continued to read my own "idle books". The mentality of also changed from "I need to be prepared before going to school" to "start studying again when I get to school". Although it is quite flat, it still works for me. At least, I am not that worried.
Of course, I am also very anxious about interpersonal relationships. In the original school, because my voice is relatively small. I have been rejected by my classmates. I don’t know if my classmates in the new environment can accept my voice. is also afraid that I will suffer from campus violence. Although I have not experienced it before, the unfriendly performance from my classmates also scares me.
In order to relax myself and to give myself the courage to face the unknown situation that may come, I kept telling myself that this is just a college entrance examination class for vocational high schools. I have also searched for a lot of experiences from general high schools to vocational high schools, and at the same time recalled my previous classmates. My suspicious symptoms were finally relieved.
On the day of school, I met a girl who was the same as me as me in the office where I was processing materials, and was even assigned to the same class. After communication, we found that the other party was depressed patients . The complementary personality of also made us quickly become friends and comfort each other during the adaptation to the environment. This encounter with has relieved me of a lot of discomfort with the new environment.
And the students in the new environment are far better than I imagined. Although I have encountered some unfriendly things and have many aspects that I don’t understand, the students in the new environment are also tolerating all aspects of me.
Later, I met several very good girls, some of whom are as introverted as me. The school’s schedule is not very compact, and it has plenty of time to eat, and is very friendly to my stomach. In this way, within a month, I gradually adapted to the environment.
bravely face the new beginning
To be honest, when I first arrived in vocational high school, my first feeling was regret. This place is very different from my original school . Only a few students are quiet and most of them are very noisy, whether in class or after class, they are noisy. I have also heard a lot of swear words here that I have never heard before, etc.
However, except for studying in vocational high school, I was really at a loss. I said that does not mean how bad it is for vocational high school. But at that time, I really had no better choice for .
Don’t be afraid! Face it bravely! Go to school if you want to, give yourself the greatest tolerance when you are sick, and try your best to make rational and sober choices that suit you.
Maybe it's because autumn has arrived. It's so cold in the north. When I was sleeping in school, I woke up frequently and gradually became noticed by the teacher in my studies. I began to be nervous again, afraid of being asked.
I have been to the hospital these days and want to go to the doctor for a follow-up visit. by the way to solve my sleep and panic problems. The doctor said that I was just a simple state of anxiety and depression. I am also very sure that I have almost no suicidal thoughts now. Without suicidal thoughts means I can persist, but my suspiciousness always makes me think too much.
In the future, there will be many troubles and setbacks waiting for me, but at least now I believe that I can persist and find a result that may not exist.
Finally, excerpt Shi Tiesheng "Me and Ditan " and give it to everyone:
"The way to deal with desperate situations is actually only the process. As long as you care most about the purpose rather than the process, you will have to fall into the desperate situation no matter what. As long as you still don't turn from the purpose to the process, you don't want to get out of the desperate situation. html l2”
"A person who just wants to make the process wonderful cannot be deprived. Death, bad luck cannot stop you from creating a wonderful process. Failure and success are accompaniment. "
Blessings everyone who wants to resume school, as well as everyone who has changed from general high school to vocational high school, can face a new beginning bravely with a rational and sober judgment.
Note: Everyone’s physique and symptoms are different, so the treatment methods in the article are for reference only. All submissions and editing stories to Tulip can be made public by default. Thank you for sharing your story on the road to depression.
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