Fran Simon is a PhD in psychology focusing on family-related issues. Her son has bipolar disorder and she has been trying hard to recover for 25 years. It is not easy to spend time with people with bipolar disorder. During 25 years, her son stopped taking medicine and relapsed repeatedly. He insulted, fought, robbed, was hospitalized, wandered...
2021, she was inspired to read a book called "Detaching with Love" (by Carolyn W.).
The central idea of this book is:
If we care too much about other people's problems, none of us will be able to take our own responsibilities correctly. To maintain proper attention to ourselves, we need to be separated from love. This will allow us to live a peaceful life when facing the challenges brought by our lover’s problems.
Fran summarizes 5 ways to get along with relatives with psychological problems:
- You don’t need to emotionally participate too much in the problems of the loved ones.
- If the other party abuses, you can leave or end the conversation with him.
- You don't need to have a bad life because the person you love is struggling.
- accepts the results after you provide support, for better or worse. You may expect positive results for every effort, and accept that result when that is not the case.
- don't have to worry about situations that you can't control. Your time is too precious to be wasted in your past or future life and worry about situations beyond your control.
Fran realizes that "separation from love" is a tool, not a way of life. This tool may be beneficial to her getting along with her son.
When you are facing a relative with psychological problems, you might as well pay attention to your inner needs first. First learn to keep yourself healthy, calm and happy in order to help your family.
