01
There is a documentary called "Finding Luke", which records the search and questioning of an outstanding student named Luke after suddenly committing suicide.
Yes, many people will ask: A child who is excellent in all aspects and his family is also very open-minded about him. Why do he suddenly find a short-sighted view?
video reveals that Luke is extremely curious about the purpose and meaning of life. After reality does not give him enough satisfactory answers, he hopes to continue exploring according to his own ideas. For him, suicide may not be an end, but an beginning, the beginning of continuing to explore in another world. This situation may also be suitable for the explanation of the suicide of Qu Yuan and HaiziHan in Chinese society.
02
02
Anyone who is familiar with existential philosophy and psychotherapy knows that whether it is Luke in the film or Qu Yuan and Haizi in Chinese society, they are all trapped by the problem of "existence".
I wrote in my book "Get out of despair: Psychologists teach to get rid of the torture of depression" , the book " Depression is a typical 'existent' pain . Patients often complain that living is meaningless and desire death. For depressed patient who has suicidal thoughts, his heart is extremely lonely - he cannot tell strangers, he does not want to worry friends, and he is even more willing to scare his family... Therefore, he can only think about this terrible problem alone." As British scholar Bolton said in his book "Anatomy of Depression": "If there is hell on earth, it can be found in the hearts of depressed patients." Suicide is often the last "unexpected" thing the patient does, a manifestation of free will and an act based on self-esteem.
03
in the video Luke has been a sensitive and problem-loving child since he was a child. What prompted him to depression was neither domestic violence nor emotional trauma, but his fundamental questions about the existence of "people" were not answered satisfactorily. These questions are: Where did I come from, where did I go, and what is the meaning of my life?
Children like Luke are more common in our mental health department. If parents sniff at their problems, think they are "thinking too much" and laugh at them and ignore them, then it is very likely that they will lead to tragedy in the future.
This video also reminds our parents to identify their children's mental state early rather than ignore, recognize rather than deny them, seek treatment instead of being indifferent or even blame their children.
04
Existentialist psychotherapy experience tells us that there are four core themes behind depression - death, freedom, loneliness, and meaninglessness. German psychiatrist Manfred Lutz once proposed: "In this world, there is actually no schizophrenia , no depression, no addiction - there are only people who suffer from various pain phenomena." This sentence can be said to be the simplest "existential" attribution for all mental and mental illnesses, including depression.
Anthropological and existential psychotherapeutics have shown that: (1) Death is the inevitable ultimate of life and the driving force for questioning; (2) Obtaining guidance in personal growth and meaning exploration, it also has universal application potential; (3) People need to "freedom to do something", but after people are brought into this world without choice, various chaos and disorderly situations trapped them like a large box of chaotic building blocks. The "people" shoulders a large number of responsibilities that cannot be shirked, and it is difficult to "live in the present" freely, which destined that there are inevitably "restrictions" and "loss" on the "people".
05
The life of the protagonist Virginia Woolf in the movie "Everything" can be regarded as a typical example of depression caused by this "existential" dilemma.
Virginia Woolf suffers from depression and lives in the countryside of Virginia for recuperation. Her husband does not allow her to return to London, fearing that she will stimulate her depression and suicide tendencies.But she said, unable to bear the huge loneliness and nothingness in the journey of life: "If I were to choose between death and Rizimond, I would choose to die." Renard looked at the firmness in her eyes and cried. Because he finally knew that there were people in this world, even though you loved them so much, and even if you were willing to give everything you had for them, you would be destined to be unable to keep them.
06
How to crack the "existence" problem behind depression?
During clinical psychotherapy, I often recommend the poem " Wild Swan " to depressed patients:
You don't have to do well.
You don’t have to kneel down in the desert that stretches for thousands of miles and constantly repent.
You just need to let your soft body feel everything around you.
tell me your despair,
I will also tell you my despair.
At the same time, the world is running continuously.
At the same time, the pebbles in the sun and rain are moving towards the new scenery, passing through the grasslands and deep woods, and there are also mountains and rivers.
At the same time, those wild swans flew high in the clear blue sky,
once again heading towards home.
No matter who you are, how lonely you are,
The world shows you itself,
calls you, just like the sound of a wild swan, rough and harsh, and exciting---
over and over again, singing your place in all things.
Indeed, if you can live like a wild swan in poetry, then depression is not a problem, and the fear of "arbitrary, stimulating, ambition, excellence, possibility" will surely disappear.
It should be noted that, as I emphasized in my book "Get out of despair: Psychologists teach to get rid of the torture of depression" and "Life in Zen: Happiness in the eyes of existential therapists" , existential psychotherapy is not a specialized technology. It mainly analyzes the "existential" problems such as death, loneliness, freedom and limitation, and meaninglessness behind depression, so that depressed people can face the reality of life sincerely and in awe. This is also the reason why I integrate mindfulness training and existential therapy into "mindfulness meditation therapy" in clinical treatment.
