I have been suffering from bipolar disorder for almost four years. During this period, I have been to many hospitals. The medicines I have taken include: olanzapine , fluoxetine , sertraline, lorazepam, lamotrigine, aripiprazole , traditional Chinese medicine, and some medicines can't even be remembered. I have experienced a lot in the past four years. Because of the torture of illness, I have thought of many ways to commit suicide, but in the end, I survived it for my parents, because I was particularly afraid of their own suffering. I always worry about this and that. The most common words I have heard from childhood are "Don't let your parents worry, you have to be a good child, you have to be sensible, how can your parents be such a waste?"
My grandma likes to say the most: "Don't worry your dad, he is in poor health." But have you ever thought about how I survived over the years? There are not many people who have encountered hardships and hardships.
But I really can't stand it anymore. I have been hospitalized and treated, but why haven't I recovered yet. I sleep no more than 4 hours a day, because I gained 100 pounds by taking medicine.
Every day, the idea of suicide, shaking hands and legs, from running and exercising in the past, to now, I can’t even hold things. These symptoms are really painful for me...
Is there any help?
Can anyone help me
