When faced with love, everyone's thoughts are: "I want it".
Want to be with each other and want to fall in love with each other.
When people with inferiority complex face what they like, they think: "I don't deserve it."
Even though they want it very much, their inner cowardice and inferiority make them choose to retreat.
When a person with inferiority falls in love with someone, he will only become more inferior.
A confident person is also prone to becoming inferior when he encounters true love.
It seems that when facing the person you love deeply, you are like flowers and plants that are humble to the dust.
So, why is the more we love someone, the more we are, the more we are, the more we are?
-01
Psychological analysis: Falling in love with someone will make you feel inferior
1, " halo effect " prejudice
"Love the house and the wu"
"The lover's eyes are out of Xi Shi"
In the eyes of the lover, all the shortcomings of the other party are also Become an advantage.
Even if the other party is not as perfect as you imagined, under the influence of the halo effect, you have also lost the ability to make rational judgments.
The meaning of halo effect in psychology is:
People often ignore the other party’s shortcomings because of a certain advantage in the other party.
generalizes from points to surfaces and preconceived ideas. These are the most common thinking patterns of halo effect.
Because you love each other, the other person seems perfect in your eyes and has no shortcomings.
So, the perfect other person in your imagination compares with you who have shortcomings, making you feel inferior.
"He is so perfect, am I worthy of him?"
The more you think this way, the more inferior you will be.
2. Those with inferiority complex have low self-esteem
In front of the loved ones, they have low self-esteem.
For example:
For people with high self-esteem, if their partner does not reply to his message, then his performance is often casual and will not think too much.
People with high self-esteem will think: "When he sees the message, he will reply to me; wait, I have to be busy with my own affairs." People with low self-esteem will think: "Why don't he reply to my message? Could it be that it is better to do my job." I did something wrong, which caused him to dislike me? "
People with low self-esteem are used to blame themselves for the mistakes in a relationship and then ignore their own strengths.
They are always humble and pleased, and don’t know how to get along with each other.
is just that this kind of low self-esteem personality is over-amplified in love.
People with low self-esteem are negative and escaped.
3. Only when we get close to someone can we "get to know ourselves again"
When you don't love someone so much, you ignore yourself.
Your focus is not on yourself, but in work, life and social.
Because at that time, not many people cared about you, and you didn’t need to pay too much attention to your image.
But when you develop love for someone, your focus will subconsciously be on yourself.
For example: clean up yourself, wear new clothes, and care too much about your appearance and figure.
After you know more about yourself, you will easily over-magnify your image.
This also leads to: you mistakenly think that everyone around you is staring at you.
"You think your lover treats you like this, but in fact your lover does not treat you like this."
-02
How to change the "lower self-esteem" psychology in love?
1. Become a high self-esteem rather than a "low self-esteem"
Low self-esteem is like this in social interaction:
"I must be in my eyes, I must be in my eyes I am equally bad, equally bad. "
People with high self-esteem have the opposite attitude:
"I am so outstanding, and I must be very outstanding in the eyes of others. "
The former is inferior, while the latter is narcissistic.
. Narcissists can often handle intimate relationships better because they can get along with each other in a confident and relaxed way.
. Those who are inferior are cautious, indecisive, looking forward and caring too much The other party's views and it is easy to misinterpret the other party's intentions. To become a high self-esteem, one needs the inferior person to improve their "resistance to stress" and "narcissistic ability".
has more positive psychological hints, such as: I'm great, I'm not bad either. "
"There must be many people who like me"
"I can do it well too"
"I deserve to be loved"
2. Use the time you follow the other person to pay attention to yourself
People who are always disappointed, how to avoid disappointment ? The best way to do it is to lower the expectation value.
does not have too many expectations for others, so that even the worst result can be accepted.
If you invest high expectations from the beginning, once things go against your wishes , it is difficult for you to accept the final result.
applies this method to intimate relationships.
Don't pay too much attention to the other person. The more you pay attention to the other person, the easier it is to beautify the other person.
Instead, use this time to pay attention to yourself .
understands that intimacy is based on sufficient "high value and high attraction". The higher the value of
, the higher the attractiveness; and the higher the attractiveness, the higher the loyalty and emotional investment of your partner to you. .
Before you love someone, please make yourself stand up first.
Today's topic:
Will you feel inferior when you fall in love with someone?
(The article is pictured from the Internet)
