The first half of 2022 has passed in the blink of an eye. Many people will start to write their own mid-year summary and summarize what they have done in the first half of the year. Subcutaneous is no exception. Starting from July 1st, we will summarize step by step. , and finally summed up a key word - anxiety.
Modern people are too anxious.
Different age groups have different worries. Under the skin, I am a young man approaching middle age. My friends once said that my mentality is as old as 80 years old. But even if my mentality is as old as 80 years old, under the circumstances of external and internal troubles, , I will still be as anxious as a newborn baby, and my hair will fall out even less than that of a baby.
Why are you so anxious? There is no doubt that pressure from all sides is attacking us.
In the past five years, young people’s anxiety may still have been about urging marriage and work. But nearly five years later, due to the impact of the epidemic, especially this year’s counterattack, suddenly our anxiety was directly reflected in food and clothing, regardless of Whether it’s because we don’t have supplies or we’re unemployed because of the epidemic, fear and worry are always lingering in the dark clouds above our heads, naturally affecting all aspects of our lives.
But at the same time, there was another keyword in the first half of the year - .
Getting worse and worse has become a vicious cycle. I know in my heart that this is wrong and I should take action, but I keep delaying my action. But procrastination is procrastination, and the uneasiness is still uneasiness, so it evolves into "the more uneasy - the worse it is."
Just right. Recently @ Li Songwei teacher published a book called "5% Change". The concept put forward in it is to keep the overall state unchanged and only change 5%. 5% sounds like an unclear value. What does it mean to change only 5%? Who defines this 5%? Is it really useful to change 5%? What will happen if this 5% is not changed? If the change exceeds 5%, will this method fail?
All these questions are answered in the book.
Teacher Li’s book organizes the feedback experiments he did with readers on his public account. Each chapter has 10 selected experiments. The cycle of each experiment is basically one week. During this week, readers continue Maintain their own living conditions, and even encourage readers not to change their living conditions, and then make a "small loosening" on the basis of .
For example, the first chapter - the seventh experiment in self "Why is self-discipline so difficult".
experiment
The experimenters who participated in the experiment (please allow me to call them this way) had several problems in their lives. They had hoarding habits (I felt that they were influenced by my grandmother). They couldn't help but eat before going to bed at night and stayed up late ( I know it’s unhealthy), and I love binge-watching TV shows (I can’t control the time I spend watching TV shows). The experimenter had sorted out his own situation before asking questions to Teacher Li. He understood his own problems and the troubles caused by these problems. The sorting out of these problems itself belongs to "self-discipline". So she doesn't need self-discipline, what she needs is the "symbol" of self-discipline.
answered
The answer given by Teacher Li was to ask her to set up a "self-discipline window". Specifically, it means to enclose an open space in a place that can be seen at a glance when working, such as a work table, 0.1 square meters is enough. This place is always kept tidy, and otherwise you can stock up as much as you like. Or set a time for yourself for 60 seconds every day. During these 60 seconds, do nothing, eat, or watch TV shows. You can eat whatever you like and watch TV shows at other times. The
cycle
remains the same, and the experimental cycle is 7 days.
feedback
It is a pity that this experiment did not receive feedback, but other readers did it in the comment area. The feedback was: "It is not difficult to do it. I found that it is not that I am not self-disciplined, but that I don't know what self-discipline is for. Goal."
Let's put down the summary first, and then look at another experiment - "Doing a Conflicting Job" between Work and Ideal
Experiment
The experimenter is a salesman, and he doesn't like to call unknown customers. When it comes to sales promotion, I always find it very objectionable to the operation of "in fact, it has a very strong purpose, but on the surface, it pretends to be friends with others." It was clear that the experimenters resisted the conventional ways of doing business in the sales industry while remaining in the industry.
answered
Teacher Li’s answer was to list ten benefits in the next seven days and summarize what the experimenter gained from staying in this industry that he was “resisting”.
cycle
seven days.
feedback
The feedback results were good. The experimenter "accepted his fate" because he could not give up the "benefits" that this industry brought to him. At the same time, after accepting his fate, he mobilized his enthusiasm, became motivated and relaxed.
Compared with the previous experiment, this one is more complete. The book also covers many representative experiments. It seems that you always encounter such problems in life but don’t know what to do. You can observe these experiments ( I won’t go into details here).
Usually when we have a question, our first reaction seems to be to go to the Internet to find the answer. What we see may be Zhihu . We know the answers to similar questions that others have asked, or they may be The answers to questions asked by patients on some medical websites are actually very similar to the "5% Change" process. We are all immersing ourselves in the problem or other people and observing ourselves.
How to observe yourself? Through some "little looseness" from Teacher Li, I was given a stimulus. Because this stimulus is small enough, everyone can execute it. Because the cycle is not long, the feedback is very timely. We can get an experimental result almost immediately. Of course, the result may be bad, so we can also change it in time. .
No method is set in stone. There is another very interesting point about the experiments in the book
. Many experimenters gave feedback or feedback that was not obvious at the moment (they did not do those things or they thought it was no longer necessary after they figured it out). Later, I got feedback over a long period of time, maybe two years, maybe a few months later, in which "time" became a factor again.
Teacher Li wrote at the end of the book, "Many problems must be viewed on a large time scale, family, or even a larger life cycle."
From time to time we will find that many of the small things we do now (For example, taking the test of and mandarin ) has no effect in this time and space, but for a sudden moment or event many years later, you will need experience in this small matter (possessing a Mandarin certificate).
This is also a very wonderful point. Many of the anxieties that we now feel cannot be solved, if we look at it in terms of span, maybe one day things will really develop as we want, but this development is silent. So when you discover it, you will be surprised enough.
Observe yourself - propose 5% changes - adjust through experiments - get the results
(Even if you give up the experiment, it is still a successful experiment, remember to make an experiment report)
Finally, quote @三acreshu about this book Opinion and summary (well, the subcutaneous ability is insufficient):
"Our psychological structure has huge "inertia". This "inertia" is powerful, has extraordinary toughness, and can repair itself.
If we decide from the beginning With a 100% change, or a 50%, or even a 20% change target, this "inertia" monster will become alert and enter a fighting state.
We can't beat him.
And with a 5% change, it will slowly loosen up. , moving forward in a roundabout way, but there is a chance.
The secret to change is
(pictures from the Internet, any infringements will be deleted)
.
