During consultation, I met many patients with anxiety, depression and even obsessive-compulsive disorder. They are very well-educated in appearance to others, never say bad words, and most people even say that they are very nice. Of course, he also knows that he is not very good.

During my consultation, I encountered many patients with anxiety, depression, and even obsessive-compulsive disorder. They are very well-educated in appearance to others, never say bad words, and most people would even say that they are very nice. Of course, he also knows that he is not very good. He is not as temperless, selfless, and loving as others think. In fact, he has a lot of resentment and dissatisfaction that he cannot express, because since he was a child, others have said that this child is very sensible. Extremely smart. During

’s consultation, there was a girl who graduated from college. After working for a year, she suffered from depression, along with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder. She received two courses of consultation with me, and then she was able to go to work. Later, she encountered problems at work. After a few more consultations, she was able to cope with it.

1. Why are particularly sensible children more likely to suffer from depression? It is more difficult to establish an intimate relationship

Most people with depression have been very sensible children since childhood. The characteristic of a sensible child is that he neither cries nor makes a fuss, is able to read the faces of adults, and does not force others to make things difficult for them. Then we can easily know another point about it: he cannot be himself, and he dare not ask for what he wants. He will always speculate, if I want this thing, am I being selfish? So from this point we will see that depressed people have lost themselves since childhood and have been other-centered since childhood.

When anger is not noticed or acknowledged, it is hidden in other ways, or breaks out in another way, causing greater harm to the patient's body, mind and soul. If a person denies her anger, it will be suppressed. Often this repressed anger eventually manifests itself in the form of depression or depression. Now we can give a simple definition of depression: Depression is the internalization of anger.

So when a person changes from being others-centered to being self-centered, all her feelings will come back. Because we are other-centered, we have to suppress all our emotions to satisfy others. When we turn to be self-centered, we don’t need to deliberately show ourselves to be perfect in order to seek approval from others. When you put yourself first, can you dare to express what you want and what you don’t want? Many patients with depression have lost themselves. They are confused and don't know what they want. So even if the right is given to her, she doesn't know how to choose.

2. Allow yourself to be willful, allow yourself to be selfish, allow yourself to lose your temper, and allow yourself to live a multi-faceted life.

When one's feelings are seen, one's emotions will naturally come out. This girl grew up in a controlling family. You only have to study, and everything else needs to be arranged by your parents. So even if you are dissatisfied with your parents, you don't dare to express it, because your parents do everything for your own good. So every time when this girl is angry, she will doubt herself, is she too sensitive? Too pretentious. It's so heartless. My parents are so good to me, why should I object?

Now she knows that her life has been arranged, and it is only right to do what her parents do, then her independent choices are wrong. At this time, many people are afraid, thinking that the relationship should be good after consulting, but why is it bad? In fact it's like rebuilding a house, which looks messy at first but ends up being beautiful. Emotions need to be vented. There is too much garbage accumulated in a person's mind. Even if a person thinks about it well, he cannot get better. Because the inside stinks, no matter how fragrant the appearance is, it is just a disguise.

This girl cried for an hour, and then she became very angry. She punched the sofa with her fists for a while, sweating profusely, burping and farting again. When she comes for consultation next time, this girl He said that he sleeps well now and doesn’t have nightmares so much. I am now willing to talk to others, and my chest tightness has improved a lot. The key is that I can still laugh. She said that she never dared to say no in the past, nor did she dare to say what she wanted to eat? I feel embarrassed when I want to eat, but now I can occasionally refuse, and occasionally order what I want to drink and eat. When I don't pay attention to others, my fear is much less.

3. Understanding some cognitive therapy can allow us to see the truth faster

What we don’t accept will be suppressed into the subconscious, and then expressed in a distorted way. Distortion means not being able to see the truth. If you want to see the truth, you must first not distort your own cognition. Pain is pain, powerlessness is powerlessness, and when you are angry, you are angry. Don't beautify evil, and don't cover up pain. Cry when it hurts, and be happy when you are happy. In this way, a person can eat well and sleep well.

is like this girl. It turns out that all she sees is the control of her parents, but she never sees her parents' love. When the girl understood, she said that I was very ashamed now and that I couldn't tell the difference between good and evil in the past. No matter whether my parents are really nice to me or they control me, I always regard it as control. So no matter how nice they are to me, I will always hate them. And I don’t allow myself to hate my parents, because everyone says look at how good your parents are to you, you should make your parents worry less and don’t make them angry.

Now I will express my dissatisfaction instead of accumulating a lot of anger and finally letting myself collapse, which will make them think that I am unreasonable. There are too many shoulds and musts in my heart, which makes my life and work lose flexibility. I always pursue absolute fairness. In fact, I am always afraid of suffering a loss because I am always afraid of not getting something or losing it. At the same time, I wanted to be outstanding so much that when I came to the unit, I even surpassed my old colleagues who had worked for five or ten years.

In this way, once I can't get results right away, I start to doubt my ability. Now it seems that I just want to be excellent, instead of saying that I just want to do my job well, be patient when I can't make a breakthrough, and always do it for comparison. The mentality of doing something just to surpass others is problematic. I am too eager for quick success and quick success, and always want to get results immediately. It was okay when I was a student, but now I understand that life is like a marathon. If you can participate and not fall behind, you are the winner.

Teacher Sanqing is national second-level psychological counselor , an international hypnotist, and a contracted author. The teacher is good at looking at problems from different angles, analyzing problems, and solving problems. In the teacher's mind, no one is abnormal or sick. Yes, the world changes when your heart changes. If you like the teacher’s articles, you can follow me.