1. Me: Brother, what are you looking for? Him: Stop talking, it will interrupt my train of thought. Don’t you know that people are most afraid of being disturbed when they are looking for something? It made me forget what I was looking for. Some people are so short-handed that th

1.

Me: Brother, what are you looking for?

Him: Stop talking, it will interrupt my train of thought. Don’t you know that people are most afraid of being disturbed when they are looking for something? It made me forget what I was looking for. Some people are so short-handed that they spend the whole day cleaning up. Yes, where is my little black leather pocket that holds the money?

Me: Huh? Others said three words, but you said seventy-seven or forty-nine words.

Him: I put it in the bag when I went out. Why can't I find it?

Me: Brother, I swear to the light I didn’t move. It's because you have such a bad memory that you still refuse to admit it.

Him: Oh, why are you here?

Me: Hey, when you walk, don’t touch the hair I want to put away on the ground.

Him: You always deal with things like this, do you have ADHD?

2.

Him: Dear, you are so fat. You have become a little chubby.

Me: When you were a child, didn’t your mother teach you to be polite when talking to others? Don't you yourself always teach me to "respect for a long time"?

Him: That’s not what I said. “Respect for a long time” is what Confucius said.

Me: You have to listen to what Confucius said. Brother, why can’t I hear your praise all day?

Him: Don’t I praise you every day?

Me: But you never praise me for my wisdom, beauty, gentleness, virtuousness, dignity, elegance, erudition...

He:...

3.

Him: Did you know that I Why did you get up so early?

Me: Are you holding in your urine?

Him: Hmm - no.

Me: Have a nightmare?

Him: Hmm - that’s not right either.

Me: What happened?

He: I sleep in every day, and the cakes I eat are cold when I wake up. The chopped green onion pancake you made is delicious when eaten hot.

Me: Humph, I announced my retirement next year. I can do all the laundry and cooking on my own. I don’t need you to prepare French meals for me. In the morning, just make porridge and pancakes fried poached eggs mixed with pickles like I do.

Him: Ah, I don’t need anything else, just make porridge and it will be so delicious to you.

Me: Really, that would be great if I don’t have to do it. Brother, please cook some porridge first to make yourself delicious.

4.

Me: Brother, there are cigarette butts in this room!

Him: How could it be? Dear, not at all! I quit a long time ago.

Me: Well, isn’t this in a flower pot?

Him: Well, dear, if you put cigarette butts in a flower pot, the flowers will not grow insects.

Me: Why is there anything else in this teacup? Um?

He:...

Me: If you put it in the tea cup again, I will even drop your cup. Brother, do you believe it?

5.

Him: It thundered and rained last night.

Me: Zhang Ailing It was written in "Little Reunion" that the thunder was caused by God dragging the mahjong table.

He: Couldn’t it be that Grandma Tian got angry when she saw Master Tian smoking and threw cups and plates?

Me: Unlikely.

Him: Why?

Me: Do you think that if Grandma Tian is so powerful, she can still smoke for Master Tian?

6.

Me: Brother, your car is too...

Him: Hey, it’s so dirty, I can’t even see clearly!

7.

Me: Brother, did you clean the car?

Him: No?

Me: Why is your car so clean?

Him: You are stupid, didn’t it rain last night?

8.

Him: Sister, can you help me find someone to take me to inspect the car? I don't even know where to go to get it checked.

Me: OK. I'm looking for Xiaoding to take you there. Going today?

Him: Well, it doesn’t seem to work. Tomorrow and the day after tomorrow!

Me: What happened?

Him: The car is too dirty and needs to be wiped.

9.

Him: Dear, the French red wine I took for you has arrived!

Me: Brother, you are so kind, you are just like my brother.

him: Are you happy this time?

Me: Humph. How many bottles are there in this big box?

Him: six bottles. I bought this big carton because I could use it to store my green onions.

Me: Where do I put my red wine?

Him: Do you know how to preserve red wine?

Me: Isn’t it placed at an angle?

Him: It must be placed in a cool and humid environment, otherwise it will volatilize. This wine has a shelf life of ten years.

Me: Then we don’t have a wine cellar either? Where should I put it?

Him: Idiot. Just put it in your stomach!

10.

Me: Where can you find such a good wife like me?

Him: Hard to find.

Me: Brother, am I okay?

Him: OK.

Me: Are you satisfied?

Him: I’m also thinking that we should have more such good wives!

Me:...

11.

He: I went to Changbai Mountain that year. Hey, the air was so good!

Me: It was the same when I went there.

He: In the morning, I came together to see how the air was, so I wanted to go out for a walk. Seeing mountains everywhere, I wanted to climb one. Ask the local uncle what kind of mountains they are. The uncle was very enthusiastic and introduced everyone. I particularly fell in love with a mountain, so I told my uncle that I wanted to climb it. The uncle said, young man, you can’t climb this mountain.

Me: What’s wrong? Is Wangshan too far away?

Him: I’m also wondering, why can’t I, who is so quick and agile, not be able to climb up?

Me: What did the uncle say?

Him: I didn’t expect the uncle to say, young man, that mountain is from North Korea.