1. When the freshmen started school, a buddy came to our dormitory with luggage on his back. He asked the boss who was sleeping on the lower bunk: "Is your upper bunk unoccupied?" The boss was confused and didn't care, and casually replied: "No!" Then After hearing this, the buddy used all his strength to throw a large bag of luggage onto the upper bunk - but it turned out that the upper bunk had no bed board!
2. A father teaches his five-year-old son to memorize English words, but the son is still young and keeps memorizing the words incorrectly. The father asked his son to eat more fish, and repeatedly said: Eating fish will make people smarter. As long as you eat more fish, you can memorize more English words. As soon as the son heard this, he pestered his father every day and said he wanted to eat fish. A few days later, the father randomly checked his son's memorization of English words. His son hesitated and still couldn't memorize them. Dad said helplessly: Why can't you carry the fish after you eat it? The son thought for a while and said: I understand, because all I eat is Chinese fish, and they don’t speak English!
3. A young couple had only been married for half a year when the wife submitted a divorce application to the court.
Judge: "Why do you want a divorce?"
Wife: "Because my husband reads the newspaper in bed every day."
Judge: "This is not a reason for divorce."
Wife: "Why not? You have to know, All he read were matrimonial advertisements. "
4. In elementary school, a classmate was extremely lively. When he wanted to go out in class, he would always ask for leave from the teacher on the excuse of going to the toilet. One time the teacher got impatient and didn't allow him to go out. After class, he grabbed a handful of poop from his crotch and raised it in front of the teacher and said: Teacher, I didn’t lie to you.
5. In a physics class in junior high school, my deskmate dropped a small notebook containing formulas. Seeing that she was not busy picking it up, I was about to bend down and help her pick it up. However, as soon as I had the intention to move, my deskmate called me I stopped and said something that I still think is very philosophical: "Don't pick it up, let it reflect on the ground for a while, otherwise it will lose its memory."
6. An old man bought a hearing aid. He was afraid of being criticized by his wife, so he just Compliment her hearing aids on how useful they are. He said: "This is the most appropriate use of money in my life. Without hearing aids, I couldn't hear what others said. But now, I can even hear the water boiling in the kitchen downstairs. The car is half a mile away. You can hear the engine sound clearly." My wife nodded and asked him, "What's the price?" The old man looked at his watch and said, "At a quarter past two, I was traveling in a soft sleeper, and there was a beautiful girl opposite me. , that little face is so delicate, I wanted to strike up a conversation with her, but I was embarrassed, and I could see that she also wanted to talk to me! I mustered up the courage and asked her, where are you going? She said Hainan travel, I said What a coincidence, so am I. Then she said, I was scared to sleep alone at night. If I need any help, just ask! She said: Can you change seats with my husband? He is in the next car. ...
