stupid
One day, the cow asked the donkey a question, asking the two worms under the word "stupid", which one is male and which one is female? donkey racked his brains, but still couldn't answer. The cow cursed: "What a stupid donkey. The male is on the left and the female is on the right!" Don't you know such a simple truth?
drawings
Seven years after graduation, I finally got a big project and built a 30-meter chimney. The construction period is two months and the cost is 300,000 yuan, but I have to advance the money myself. It was finally completed at the end of last year. Today they went for an inspection and were scolded and had no money! As a result, the drawings were held upside down and they wanted to dig a well!
Fracture
The doctor asked the patient how he broke the bone? The patient said, I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I held the pole and shook the shoes. Someone was passing by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and hit me twice!
I won’t go
The turtle is injured. Let the snail go buy medicine. 2 hours passed. The snail hasn't come back yet. The turtle hurriedly cursed: If you don't come back, I will be dead! At this time, a snail's voice came from outside the door: "If you keep talking, I won't go!"
Lost
Someone raised a pig and it was very annoying, so he wanted to let it go. However, the pig knew the way back and abandoned it several times without success. One day, while driving around many corners, he lost the pig. He called his family in the middle of the night and asked: "Is the pig back?" The answer: "Back!" He shouted: "Let it answer the phone, I'm lost!
miracle
" The creditor asked: "Why are you so late? Pay back the money? "
" The debtor said: "Don't worry, I'm waiting for two miracles to happen." The first is that I won the lottery..."
"Dream, you! "The creditor said disdainfully.
"Second, you have to return to the West. "
The kidnapper called
A kidnapper caught his wife. The kidnapper called her husband to ask for ransom: Hey, your wife has been kidnapped by me for three days! Are you just watching my wife being ripped apart by me?
On the other end of the phone I heard my husband weakly reply: You fool, if you don’t put my wife back, how will I know where my bank card is?
The kidnapper was furious: Aren’t you going to borrow some fucking money?
The husband was shocked? ：Are you stupid again? My wife is not at home, who dares to lend me money?
Minesweeper Notice
My son came home with some strange adults. I quickly asked them who they were, and they said they were from the community property management company. Staff.
A middle-aged man said: "Your son is so naughty. He modified the bulletin board randomly, which seriously hindered our work. When I heard that this was really not good, I scolded my son: "How could you scribble on the bulletin board? You are so naughty!" The son said aggrievedly: "I didn't scribble, I just added two strokes on the bulletin board." "
Before I could ask the property manager for details, the middle-aged man spoke again: "It's true that there were only two additions, but they were too big. Originally, the bulletin board said a snow plowing notice. Your son After two additions, it is now a minesweeper notice! "
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| The time of a cigarette
On this day, my father, who couldn't bear the addiction to cigarettes, saw his mother clearing the dining table, so he asked for leave and said, "I'll go downstairs for a walk." "What to do?" Mom asked warily. Dad said, "I ate too much for dinner. Exercise will help with digestion." "Okay, but I'm warning you, you're not allowed to smoke secretly downstairs." Seeing that he was done, his father vowed: "I quit smoking a long time ago and will never smoke again." After saying that, he turned around and left.
Mom asked from behind: "How long will it take to come back?" The overly excited dad replied without hesitation: "It only takes one cigarette." ""return! "My mother roared from behind.
Innocent Colleague
Have you ever heard of dish-chopping? Today a colleague brought the same dish as me, shredded pork with green peppers and cucumbers with garlic paste. I looked at him while he was heating up the rice. arrive.
In the spirit of entertainment, I put my hand on his lunch box and shouted copy, then put my hand on my own lunch box and shouted paste, then opened the lunch box and ate.
This colleague has been pestering me since we started eating. He has been trying to learn this skill for an hour. Who will save me?
Confucius Commentary on Zilu
Confucius once felt very depressed. Facing his seventy-two proud disciples, he said: "If my ideas cannot be used, I will go into exile overseas on a raft. By then, it is estimated that only Zilu will do it." "Follow me!"
Zilu was very happy when he heard this. He always thought that the teacher's favorites were Zigong and Yan Hui. He didn't expect that he would also receive such a high evaluation. Just when he was about to be humble, Confucius continued: "Because only Zilu can do this kind of job of running errands to protect people, there is nothing else to do."
honest
A: "What did you buy your boyfriend as a birthday gift?"
B: "I bought a locked book I gave him the diary. I know he likes to write diaries, and he never lets others read them easily. "
" A: "You are so honest." "
" B: "But I have an extra key."
