Complaining is a characteristic of human nature. If you are unhappy, you will complain, you will complain if your work is not going well, you will complain if your close relationship is not good, especially after you get married. The foundation determines the superstructure, and then the man becomes the complaint in the family.
(Sometimes men encounter various complaints)
The old saying is about marrying a man and marrying a man to dress and eat, so in the subconscious of Chinese women, men will be regarded as the backbone of the family's economy.
is also deeply influenced by traditional thinking, which is called "Mentang Family".
From the point of view of evolutionary psychology, there is nothing wrong with this. Each of us must live. (Filling the stomach is the basic need of every life)
So from ancient times, it should be from the patrilineal society, women began to attach to men, so in our collective subconscious, men will be used as support, so we see Looking at some daily life terms in daily life, men are the pillars of the family, men are heaven, and men are the head of the family. . . .
I believe everyone has heard such words.
So the label given to men by society is: reliable.
However, reliability requires responsibility and responsibility.
So this society has a lot of demands on men. Once men do not meet the labels given to men by the society, especially in marriage, men become difficult people.
Next door Lao Wang buys a car and buys a house, why can't you?
Others earn one million a year, why are you not capable? When a woman scolds a man for incompetence, a woman vents her anger, but as a man, what do you think?
Some men will be silent;
Some men will fight back;
Some men will laugh!
Actually, such a woman still doesn't know her own man, nor other people's men.
At this moment, do you know what men really think?
There are too many women in this world. Once they get married, they put all their hopes on their husbands. They never count on themselves or treat themselves and their marriage well, even if men treat them well, They will also dislike it.
Gradually some men became bad men in women's disgust, some men worked hard in women's disgust, and some men became short and poor in women's disgust.
Looking for husband to become a dragon, ask yourself what role did your husband play in the process of Jackie Chan?
Wephone founder Su was forced to commit suicide by his ex-wife, causing quite a stir and discussion.
One of the twists and turns, because the truth of the fact has not been finally revealed, it cannot be evaluated.
But in any case, the result of the man's suicide is extremely heartbreaking.
What is it that killed a man who was excellent and successful in the eyes of outsiders?
Su Mou publicly posted his suicide note
"I admit that I was too cowardly. After hiding in the hotel for a few days, I was exhausted physically and mentally, and finally became headless. I signed that wicked divorce agreement, and now I think about it, I am extremely ashamed and angrily. I was forced to death by this divorce agreement. Every word in this agreement was carefully designed..."
"I feel I am desperate. My financial chain has broken. I am really desperate.
I didn’t ask my family for help in time, and I regret it now.
They are all so great and can come to support me from home at any time, but I Fighting alone in Beijing, I made a series of very silly decisions.”
Remember last year because the husband Wu forgot to buy chicken drumsticks for his wife Luo.In a life dispute, the husband was stabbed to death by his wife.
The two people started to conflict for the first time, and the woman scolded him angrily. At this time, the woman had no bottom in her heart, but the man chose to compromise.
So the woman understands that it's okay to scold you!
In the humiliation time and time again, the woman finally started.
Good intimacy is to nourish, poor intimacy is really terrible.
Many women can make money by themselves, but they always hope that men can take on more financial responsibilities.
Therefore, in the face of men who don't make much money, they always have the feeling of hating iron but not making steel, or they want to play a game of transformation, whipping each other to become aggressive.
There are two main purposes for cursing.
One is to educate and enlighten the other party in a simple and direct way of "curse" because anger is indisputable, which is also the legendary "beating is pain, cursing is love"-this kind of curse is more of The category of educational psychology.
The other is purely to deal with the other party, making the other party more uncomfortable, the better, it is best to cause some permanent spiritual damage, or even change the other party's life trajectory.
If beating and scolding can change a person, then we only need to beating and scolding.
Violent means only aggravated the hostility and resistance of the other party, alienating or even breaking the relationship.
There is no wisdom, and there is no method, only the low way to solve the problem, it seems that it only stays at the primitive stage.
Problems that can be solved by low-end means can also be done by other methods.
Appreciation:
The reward system is a positive feedback mechanism for behavioral rewards.
People are easily addicted to entertainment and relaxation products, because these products provide very rich audio-visual materials and pleasant and comfortable feelings, giving the baby's brain enough stimulation and rewards.
In our brain, there is a little person who rewards himself at any time.
In other words, it is precisely because of the villain in our mind that we have learned to reward ourselves.
For this villain itself, it has only one idea all the time: to promote the secretion of dopamine.
With dopamine, the excitement signals in the brain will be transmitted and spread quickly. It is the source of our excitement and joy.
And the brains of animals and humans seem to be "precisely designed" by someone so that the secretion of this hormone is positively induced for us.
prompts us to learn and adapt to the world.
Once people are recognized by others, they will have the desire to respond to expectations.
In this case, even if this matter is a little troublesome, the other party will gladly accept it.
Even if we are grown-ups, we have been learning from the world and all the interpersonal relationships.
An important reason for marriage discord in society now is that husbands and wives quarrel a lot, and the wife’s language is very lethal. It is difficult to meet in real life-unless the two people are too lazy to communicate and divorce.
A mature relationship cannot withstand childlike "action".
The "giant baby" in the relationship refuses to take a more responsible attitude to consider problems. It will continue to cause conflicts in the relationship, and it will also make the conflicts that have occurred cannot be resolved, and finally fall into a negative cycle of relationship burnout. Try your best, exhaust your emotions.
Similarly, a mature relationship is not to change the other party, but to discover the other's strengths and encourage their growth.
Women are always keen to transform a man, have a strong desire to control, unknowinglyMen take care of them as children.
Then complained that men did not take responsibility, unlike a man upright.
At this point, we must learn more from men who are willing to grow by themselves. Men often pay attention to their own needs and growth, and will not overly demand women to change anything.
A happy, happy and harmonious family starts with the sentence "I love you to death!"
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Author profile: Teacher Xianhong
Psychological consultation Master, Tarot fortuneteller, Planetary Energy Singing Bowl Healer, Free Coder, Trainer.
The old soul who appreciates love, the explorer of the road of life
Three views are corrected than facial features, and thoughts are deeper than routines
The important thing is: a psychologist who loves life seriously
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Advocate a spiritual life with love as the essence, and realize the true meaning of life together
