Text | There is a Little Sweet Pepper at Home (It is not easy to be original, please do not plagiarize, you are welcome to reprint and share)
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"You must have a second child, so that the child will not be alone in the future!"
This is what elders or friends say most often. Use such a reason to persuade you to have a second child, but the reality is always far from the ideal.
In our ideal world, two children will love each other, help each other, and overcome difficulties together when they grow up. In reality, when the children grow up, they start their own families and start businesses, and their respective priorities shift, and the relationship between brothers and sisters becomes increasingly distant.
"Help each other?" does not exist. After encountering difficulties, brothers and sisters hide far away. In fact, it is quite understandable for people to do this. After you have your own small family, of course you must focus on your partner and children. Brothers and sisters are just relatives.
The Spring Festival is coming, and the eldest son would rather spend an extra thousand to buy clothes for his mother than give a penny.
A few days ago, he went to wash his hair. The mother of the teacher "Tony" in the studio came to help again. Every year when the new year comes, the store will be extra busy. When
was washing her hair, teacher Tony 's wife talked about family matters. Because we are all old acquaintances and live in the same community, we often talk about family matters.
"I spent 2,000 yuan on clothes for her with good intentions, but she still didn't want to. She said she didn't want the clothes, so she asked for 1,000 yuan!"
" I would rather spend an extra thousand yuan to buy her things, just to stop her mouth and stop asking us for money . ”
Teacher Tony’s mother is still young, less than 50 years old, and does not need the monthly payment of her two sons. The eldest son is also our teacher Tony, who is very capable. He started working in a barber shop when he was a teenager. He went on his own a few years ago. Now he has a house and a car in Nanjing, and his life is prosperous.
The younger son is not so motivated. He has nothing to do. He used to work in a factory, but later he felt that the work was too tiring, so he quit. He has not made much money in a year. Because he is not motivated, his wife has divorced him. Now he has enough to eat and the whole family is not hungry.
The mother felt sorry for her little son, so she would give it to her if she had any money. The brother would turn a blind eye, but he would give some money to his mother from time to time. Later, Teacher Tony’s wife refused, and she suggested: If you want to give money, give it to both of you. If you don’t give the front foot to your mother, your mother will give the back foot to your brother. What, do you still want to support your brother?
Teacher Tony felt that his wife was not messing around. In order to avoid family conflicts, she reduced the support to her mother. Her parents were still young and the family had land. She worked in a factory every day and could earn 40,000 to 50,000 yuan a year, so she had no worries about food and drink.
Teacher Tony’s wife is quite reasonable. Every time she asks her mother-in-law to help, she will buy a lot of things, including clothes for the holidays. The money is not cheap at all, but there is only one thing: she will not give a penny, because she knows that giving money is equivalent to giving money to her brother who has no business. It is better to buy something for the elderly.
The relationship between brothers and sisters in adulthood
I have seen too many such worldly relationships when I was a child. The relationship between brothers and sisters is very realistic. If they get along well, the elder brother is the elder brother, the younger brother is the younger brother, the elder sister is the elder sister, and the younger sister is the younger sister. If they do not get along well, these people will be avoided.
When I was young, I thought it was a human problem. But when I grow up, I realize that everyone has their own frustrations, and there is always only one focus.
After brothers and sisters become adults, their priority is their partners and children, not brothers and sisters.
Our elders are like this, others are like this, and we ourselves are like this.
So, there is no need to blame anyone, and there is no need to hate anyone, this is the reality.
If you want to maintain a good relationship with your brothers and sisters, there is only one way: that is to live a good life, make your life better, and have a bulging pocket, so that you can maintain the basic family ties .
Are you still using the excuse of "finding a companion for your child" to have a second child?
Not long ago, when I was chatting with a mother of a second child, she said: A child is too lonely, and you must have a second child, so that the child can have a companion in the future!
When she said this, she complained to us about her sister-in-law, her husband's only sister, just a few days ago: "It's really annoying for a man who has no future and relies on us for financial support."
So is having a second child to find a companion for the child, or is it just to satisfy one of your own fantasies, just for yourself?
Children will have their own spiritual support and life partner in the future, but this person must not be a brother or sister. They will have their own family, their own partner, and most likely their own children, and then create their own social circle.
There is nothing wrong with having a second child, but really don’t place such hope on your child from the beginning, because you will definitely regret it.
How can I ask my children to do things that I can’t do myself? When children become adults, they will enter such a state like ourselves, creating a child-centered family, and then gradually become alienated from other people. They will also have their own close friends, and it is basically certain that these friends will not be brothers and sisters.
The only reason for having a second child is: We love our children enough, and we have the ability to raise children, provide them with a good education, and accompany them to grow up healthily.
