Some people say that the manifestation of loving someone to the core is: "You are my whole world, and I only have you in my world."
So what is the manifestation of a man being able to love someone to the core in a relationship?
Should I always think about the other party, obey the woman's orders, or should I be willing to spend money and time with the woman?
or all transactions of all sizes are managed in an orderly manner and gentle and considerate manner?
is not actually. Some time ago, the movie " Hidden Dust Smoke " that was flooding the circle of friends gave the answer.
The film tells the story of a northwest farmer couple Ma Youti and Guiying, starring Wu Renlin and Haiqing , who fell in love in suffering.
At the beginning, Guiying, who had been disabled since childhood and was unable to give birth, was arranged by her brother and sister-in-law, and married Ma Youtie, who was also plotted by her brother.
Because Ma Youtien is ranked fourth in the family, he has the least status in the village. He is still a bachelor at the age of a man, and is also called "Ma Laosi".
Although he is honest and still so poor, it does not prevent him from being a kind and affectionate person.
Being poor is poor. He never takes advantage of others. Not only does he not be greedy for others, he often puts himself in his shoes.
The first time he took Guiying home, he learned that Guiying was incontinent due to disability, so he silently took off his clothes and covered Guiying's pants.
When they got married, they did not hold a wedding or had a new house, so they lived in idle houses in the village.
The first night of the wedding, when he saw Guiying sitting awkwardly because she peed her pants, Ma Laosi would considerately pretend that he didn't see it.
Not long after, he learned that all idle houses would be demolished. He did not complain about the world, but decided to build a house that truly belonged to him and Guiying.
So he and Guiying planted wheat, hatched chickens, and built a house. He didn't care even when the villagers joked that "it was like tying Guiying to his belt."
He would only worry about Guiying's health and take care of all the affairs of his family until Guiying fell into the water and died due to illness.
The night before Guiying was buried, he wiped Guiying's photos over and over again, and finally hung them reluctantly.
Then he faced the body, afraid of seeing Guiying's indecent appearance, so he only lifted a corner of the sheet and printed wheat flowers on her.
At the end of the movie, he returned home and sat alone at the table, ate the eggs that he had only given to Guiying before. He
ate eggs only this time in his life, but to suppress the bitterness of pesticides.
In the whole film, this man did not mention love at all, but loved it to the core, and he still loved it hard until the end of his life.
This video once won the single-day box office championship and was nominated for the best film of Berlin Silver Bear, which moved countless people to tears.
can be seen that a man's deep affection can also touch people's hearts, even if he is facing separation from life and death.
And once he loves it to the core, he can also have a different state from others.
1
Inside, you can bear responsibility
psychologist Fromm once mentioned in the book "The Art of Love": Among all forms of love, among the common basic elements that often contain, the second one is responsibility.
Of course, this also appears to be deeply in love.
TVB veteran actor Huang Rihua , from the honest Guo Jing in "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" to the heroic Qiao Feng in "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" he has played countless classic characters.
At the same time, in reality, he is still a "good man at home" who is dedicated to his wife Liang Jiehua .
He and Liang Jiehua met in the TVB artist training class. At the beginning, both of them were subpoenas and were unknown.
Soon, the two of them sparked love, and their relationship continued to heat up and developed steadily.
Because both of them are actors, people around them were worried that their relationship would affect their career development, but Huang Rihua didn't care.
Even friends in the circle complained about Huang Rihua: "I used to eat and live together, but since I was in love, I couldn't see anyone."
Even after becoming famous with the role of "Guo Jing", Huang Rihua publicly stated that he would not marry Liang Jiehua.
After all, he and Liang Jiehua have been together for many years and have hardly quarreled, although he has broken up due to career pressure.
But after the separation, his longing for Liang Jiehua increased day by day, allowing him to recover Liang Jiehua again.
After marriage, Huang Rihua's career was at its peak, so he took the initiative to take on the responsibility of supporting his family. After
, Liang Jiehua gave birth to a daughter, and Huang Rihua kept a distance from the opposite sex at work and rejected a lot of hype and publicity.
He did not forget to call his wife to report during filming, and his wife also supported his work very much.
But as more and more work comes, Huang Rihua has almost no time to go home all year round because of the continuous work.
At this time, the two of them communicated less and less, and there were inevitably conflicts and more quarrels, and even had to have a divorce.
Fortunately, Huang Rihua chose not to divorce due to his responsibility to his wife, daughter and family. He thought, "What does it mean to be alone? I will never leave you."
After the two reunited, Huang Rihua chose to fade out of the entertainment industry in 2000 and filmed in a lukewarm manner.
Because he wanted to spend time with his family, he no longer participated in film and television dramas too much. In addition, during this period, Liang Jiehua suffered from cancer, and Huang Rihua immediately stopped working and gave up everything to take care of his wife.
Although he accompanied his wife to fight cancer for 7 years, Liang Jiehua eventually passed away.
Liang Jiehua also told him four words before his death: Don’t lose your temper all day, don’t quarrel with others, drive slowly, and don’t smoke so much.
These made Huang Rihua unable to get out for a while, so that at his wife's funeral, he cried until he fainted and vowed not to marry again for life.
Review of "Brother Jing " Huang Rihua said that he loved his wife Liang Jiehua very much.
But among them, he and his wife each assume their responsibilities to their family and their efforts for the once-rifted marriage.
2
For the outside world, let go of self-esteem
A lawyer friend who has handled many divorce cases once told me that men are actually more fragile than they thought.
A large number of men are actually maintaining their fragile self-esteem while proclaiming that they are strong.
Because they grew up in a strict and high-pressure environment, their self-esteem has long been fragile.
Only those who love you deeply can men be willing to open up and even let go of their "worthless" self-esteem for the sake of the person they love.
In 2018, such a "treasure old man" became popular on the Internet. He is a 60-year-old professor at Central China Normal University Dai Jianye .
Not only does he teach in a humorous manner, but he also likes to share some views on reading and love with young people.
More importantly, he has been loving with his wife for decades: he can always make his wife happy, and his wife always cares about his diet and daily life.
But unfortunately, Professor Dai's wife later got cancer.
In order to save his wife who had cancer, he held lectures, published books, and wrote books everywhere. He even took the interview that he had been reluctant to accept in order to concentrate on academics.
Once. During the lecture, someone criticized him for "going around" and eating ugly, and losing his literary character.
When he heard this, Professor Dai, who had always loved to smile, choked up.
He said that his wife's condition depends on drugs to stabilize, but a box of anti-cancer drugs costs more than 50,000 yuan, and a box of them will be eaten in a month.
If you don’t make money, how can you buy medicine to save people? Without a wife, what's the use of seeking a literary character?
Unfortunately, his wife died in the end, and Professor Dai lost the person who reminded him to add clothes when it was cold.
Three months after his wife's death, Professor Dai returned to the classroom in grief and once again took on the teaching and research of ancient literature.
When talking about his wife, he emotionally quoted Su Shi's words and feelings: "We will meet again, we will definitely not know each other. If you die, I will grow old, and my face will be covered in dust and hair."
He did not regret it. He vassed money for his lover and even let go of the self-esteem of a literati, just because he wanted to "use what he learned in his life to save his love for his life."
Although there are always people who say that men love each other to the core and only exist in movies.
Just like the writer Jane Austen said in "Persuading":
"Compared with men who are good at forgetting, women will always be extra dedicated. Women's love transcends the boundaries of all rational planning. Women's only privilege is to have the longest love, and continue to love even without hope."
But this does not mean that there is no affectionate man in reality.
Just like the Captain Winter who had been waiting for the heroine for 8 years in "Persuad", he honestly said to the heroine:
"I dare not say that men are faster than women, but I don't confess, I will regret the rest of my life. I come just for you, and all my considerations and planning are for you."
Some people love deeply not because the time and new love have not arrived, but because they don't want to lose it, and finally choose the other party.
borrow Fu Seoul said in "The Debater": A good relationship is a choice, and it is to prepare in the heart. He has the right to get off at any time, but he has never left.
Deep love is also a choice. It is not that we have chosen each other among the many choices, but that no matter how long it takes, we will still choose each other.
Love someone deeply, and he is like this: "I can bear common responsibilities and let go of my fragile self-esteem, only for you."
This may be the realm that only men who love deeply can have.
Author | Mu Chu Level 3 Health Manager , Psychological Counselor, has specialized in applied psychology, focused on writing, and is keen on studying psychoanalysis and emotional psychology . Proverbs: Anything you learn will become a personality, listen carefully and record every soul story around you.
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