The end of many marriages is not actually an agreement between the two parties, and many families make decisions unilaterally. When you plan to divorce your partner and make a divorce, if you are the lover, if you don’t want to divorce, how can you save the other party from maintaining your marriage?
Find the root of the problem and awaken the other party's responsibility
Faced with the decision to give up their partner, many people's first reaction is either to fight back violently or to deal with it indifferently. But in fact, if we do not want to divorce, what we need to do is not to make noise or humble prayers, but to first figure out the real incentives that lead to the other party's final decision to divorce.
A lover who already has the idea of divorce must be not friendly enough or even ruthless. If you want to increase the probability of recovery, you must first calm your emotions and not be too demanding of details so that you will not lose control when repairing the relationship.
Why do many women talk about the responsibility of marriage and family when regaining the responsibility of marriage and family, but they don’t help but go in the left ear and right ear?
Because when you are talking to him about the responsibility, what he can hear will definitely not be the responsibility, but a kind of pressure and accusation.
"How can you be so irresponsible, how can you leave me/child?" and other words, if you say too much, will only make him more resistant.
attempts to kidnap responsibility and pay debts in the past. Perhaps due to the importance of the reason, some people may see a little "better", but in fact, it is impossible to dispel the other party's thoughts, because your inner feelings are not seen by you, and what they still feel is pressure, demands, and excessive expectations.
Want to awaken the other party’s responsibilities is not to count the role and responsibilities of his wife as a wife, or his sacrifices and efforts over the years of marriage, but to rejuvenate the other party’s sense of value.
The fundamental reason for keeping the other person from leaving in close relationship is not how good you are, but how good you are to him, or that you can discover his goodness. The process of awakening the other person's sense of value is actually a kind of affirmation and praise, because only when self-esteem and face are satisfied can we spontaneously shoulder our own responsibilities.
Use the past
Indeed, in marriage relationships, everyone has countless differences due to the role conversion, but there must be beauty that cannot be easily formatted. Therefore, clever use of the past will also make the other party choose to give up the idea of divorce again.
Of course, it endlessly describes all the good things that the other party is especially good to him, and can only become a catalyst to intensify the other party's departure.
You were so kind to me at the beginning, why are you so ruthless now? I was fine before, but I licked me gently, but why did I change my face now? The previous promises don’t count?
It seems that you are looking for the cause of the divorce and desperately pulling back the other person's heart with "beauty", but in fact, the sentimental feelings are still negated and blamed.
In many client cases, many couples who ended up getting divorced were once men and women who had a strong love for each other. However, because of the superposition of fragmented conflicts in life, and inappropriate communication and repair methods in the event of conflicts in problems, they eventually lost each other.
Remember, using the past is to let the other party relive the memories of happiness he (she) in the best time he or she feels, not the happiness you feel in this relationship.
Let the other party see the essence of your value
The biggest bargaining chip that can truly retain the heart of a lover is really not necessarily love. In addition to the love of habit, it is more of the value that you can bring to yourself.
Don’t think that this value is simply material, it can be spiritual comfort, life care, or help or military advisors who provide advice during the other party’s hard work.
So when you don’t want to let go, remember to let the other party see clearly the value you can bring to the other party and home, which is the best weapon to keep.
How to make the other party change its original intention and not give up on you? Fantasy, sensitivity, or even collapse are useless. What is really effective is to make him or her truly understand that losing you and losing the "benefits" you bring will make this person spontaneously change his impulsive and stupid decisions.
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Text/Emotional Transfer Station
(Author: Xiaoyu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), good at restoring and restoring romantic relationships, marriage conflicts and differences, and spiritual trauma healing caused by original ecological families. In a lonely life journey, listen to your grievances and pressures, help visitors improve their gender skills, win back their lovers, manage their relationships well, and strive to become a happier person.
