Tree hole No.37
After three years of marriage, the child was born this year. My husband has a very straightforward personality. Sometimes I want to say something to him, he doesn’t want to listen to it. He doesn’t like to laugh or chat. In addition to eating, drinking, defecating and urinating, we rarely communicate with each other, and don’t know how to change this situation!
Sometimes I can't stand the attitude of speaking, especially direct and indifferent. I don't know if I don't love you, but in life we live a good life, but we don't communicate, and I feel that my heart is not close. I want to talk about my intimate words, but I can't talk. Over time, I feel that I have changed and I don't like to talk too much. I think it may be that I am not outstanding now, and I have lost my income after giving birth, but I was almost the same in the same state before.
His personality is like this and he treats everyone the same, but I don’t like this state. How can I change it? Be warmer and be motivated to do something else when I feel warm. I have thought about divorce before, but now when I am unhappy, I will think that it is not a person and it may not be very helpless. But the child is also born. If I can do it well, I will work hard for my family and care for each other and have love. It must be the original wife. It is good for the child, but I just don’t know what to do.
Teacher reply:
Psychological and emotional mentor_Mingzhe:
Hello, mother, when you saw your description process, you actually knew your husband's temper at the beginning and his personality was a bit more direct. In fact, sometimes, when a man with this personality tells him your true thoughts, there should be no problem.
I don’t know why you feel that you can’t communicate with him. Is it because you dare not say it, or because you don’t have time to discuss this issue? actually. During the whole process, boys' logical pattern is mainly purposeful, so after marriage, he understands more about creating financial sources and consolidating the family's living standards. So, especially when you have no income, he has to do things that benefit financially.
Besides, you have described that your husband treats almost the same as everyone else, but you just don’t like his state.
has such a personality, and it is sometimes very difficult to adjust. Boys themselves are more logical, and they cannot be as emotional as women. In general communication process, boys' left-brain thinking reaches 90%, but women have 50% right-brain thinking. So here is the reason why girls are more emotional.
It is mentioned in your description that in fact, if you want to make the whole process of getting along a little warmer, this is also a cognitive difference. Maybe your husband is currently quite satisfied with your lifestyle. So I suggest you find some time to tell your husband about your current feelings. Let him know a very bad idea of your current emotional state.
I suggest you communicate first. The teacher thinks you should have time to speak, but you think it may be boring to speak, but there is no communication. Then you can tell him yourself and finish your true feelings at once and let him understand. You are actually quite uncomfortable now. The teacher can only give you these suggestions. The rest should be reported to us after you share your feelings. If you need some assistance, please send a private message to our customer service staff and contact us further. I hope your communication will be smooth. Remember, it’s not waiting for him to give back to you, but you took the initiative to find him and your husband to talk about this matter.Come on
Psychological and emotional mentor_Chen Ning:
Ms., Hello,
Few communication may not be unloved. Love should be experienced with your heart. If your lover is like this from beginning to end, he does not like to laugh, does not chat, is indifferent, and is the same for you and outsiders. His current state is also his normal state. In his state, he is the most comfortable. If you love him, don’t you like him to exist in his most comfortable state? When two people move from love to family affection, the real world will surface more and more. Until one day, they will fully accept each other's truth and love will be perfect.
From your story, I saw your selfishness. This selfishness is to break through the silent environment of your lover and make yourself comfortable. We all say that we can only be able to keep our original intentions in mind. We should respect what life should look like, right? It is difficult to change a person, but changing your own ideas is often very simple. What you want today is not a beautiful love, your beautiful love is just a longing. Couples should learn to adapt and learn to make each other happier and happier. This is the prerequisite for warmth in the family. If he has always been in this state and you want to change the state of the family, the teacher can give you some suggestions for reference only. 1. Never want to change a person, but you can influence a person, how to influence it, with your love and your changes, just imagine, when you become what she wants, will the ice between you break? 2. Once the family relationship is formed and destroyed, it will definitely not affect it. Whether the family is warm or not, you must manage it with your heart. He doesn’t like to talk, but he is also working hard to make money to support the family. You must see his contribution to the family, you must appreciate his contribution to the unknown contribution to the two of you. When you learn to be grateful, you will have love. Your love will affect him, and she will definitely be melted by your love. 3. When you have nothing to do, learn more, learn more about being a good wife and mother, learn to be a good wife and a good wife, and of course you also need to learn more about traditional culture, because Chinese men are still very traditional in their bones. When you use traditional culture to make yourself very elegant, the teacher believes that he will take the initiative to chat with you. This is the power of traditional culture. . Meeting someone needs fate. Starting a family depends on blessings. What you need to do well in a good marriage is unforgettable mutual appreciation and tolerance. How far a family can go depends on how big the women in the family have. If the pattern is big, the vast sky will be. Just look at a little bit and you will definitely not go long. Finally, the teacher will give you a sentence: The family will not spend long time together, cherish
