What tortures people in this world is not the indifference and ruthlessness of others, but the expectations that one should not have again and again. If you hurt your heart once, you should see people clearly. Self-deception will only make it more painful, and no one can help with this pain.
Aunt Qin was a junior high school Chinese teacher and a senior teacher before retirement. She can be said to be full of talents all over the world. Aunt Qin, who has educated countless people, cannot teach her only son. My son barely went to a second-tier university, and after work, he changed several companies one after another. Aunt Qin completely gave up on her son's career achievements.
Later, the son finally got married, and Aunt Qin just breathed a sigh of relief, and all kinds of troubles emerged one after another. And the root of all this lies in her strong daughter-in-law.
1
After organizing her son's wedding, Aunt Qin was directly admitted to the hospital, and two occupational diseases, , cervical spondylosis, and lower limb varicose veins, were entangled with her. This time I was so tired that my whole body was so painful that my bones were clamoring.
Son and daughter-in-law lived in a new house after marriage, and she lived alone in an old house. She called her son and said she was uncomfortable. She said, "Then you just go to the hospital for a check-up." She hung up the phone.
Aunt Qin could only take a taxi to the hospital alone. Thinking of the cold pot and cold stove at home, she simply followed the doctor's advice to be hospitalized for a few days.
After the son and daughter-in-law knew that she was hospitalized, they went to the hospital to see her once, but they left after not sitting for a few minutes.
Then the aunt who came in to clean the bathroom greeted everyone and said during the chat that she had just met a young man. The woman's face was very long and the man was smiling.
"Do you know what that woman said?" The aunt hugged everyone's appetite. After waiting for a while, seeing that no one guessed correctly, the answer was solved, "The woman actually said, it was too unlucky. She came to the hospital just after getting married. I hate the taste here."
Auntie and the people in the ward laughed and talked about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Only Aunt Qin was silent. Isn’t the aunt talking about her son and daughter-in-law?
Aunt Qin thought her son would come back to see her, but she didn't. Aunt Qin called and asked, and her son always used the reasons to work overtime.
Half a year later, Aunt Qin's daughter-in-law became pregnant, and her son and daughter-in-law came to report the good news to Aunt Qin happily. Aunt Qin was naturally happy and made a large table of good dishes to celebrate together.
Aunt Qin felt relieved. It is said that only by raising a child can you know the kindness of your parents. In the future, when your son and daughter-in-law become parents, they will be more mature and responsible.
But the words of my son and daughter-in-law made Aunt Qin look worried.
"Mom, you are ready to have a fat grandson."
Aunt Qin smiled and nodded as her son said. She also wanted to enjoy her grandchildren and enjoy the joy of family.
"The doctor said that Su Lan's condition was not particularly ideal. She had to raise her well, eat and drink well, so that her child could grow up healthily."
"Of course, I will move in with you, and I will take good care of you in the future." Aunt Qin took the initiative to hold up her daughter-in-law's hand. They were all women, and she knew it was not easy to get pregnant.
"Mom, you are in poor health. At least you will be exhausted by taking care of me. We can't feel bad about it. Just prepare to be a grandma." The daughter-in-law said a rare and pleasant thing. In the past, I occasionally came to my house without saying a word, asking three questions and answering one question.
"Mom, you also know that my income is not high and I have to repay the loan every month. Now Su Lan is pregnant again. I am under a lot of pressure. Can you subsidize us every month?"
Aunt Qin raised her eyebrows and did not answer, and she came prepared.
"Not much, 2,000 yuan per month is enough, improve the food." Seeing that Aunt Qin didn't say anything, her son said in a hurry.
Everyone says to raise a child to prevent old age. If your son doesn’t respect her, he will forget her pension when he is about to stop. Aunt Qin didn't want to rely on her son and daughter-in-law, but she was still a little lucky.
Aunt Qin thought that her monthly pension was more than 6,000 yuan, and giving them 2,000 yuan was enough to live. Besides, she only has one son, aren’t they all sons in a hundred years?
In the end, Aunt Qin promised to transfer 2,000 yuan to her son every month as scheduled.
However, things are far from over here.
2
Before the daughter-in-law was about to give birth, Aunt Qin packed up and went to take care of her daughter-in-law during confinement at any time. But Aunt Qin's kindness was rejected.
On the surface, they were still thinking about Aunt Qin's health, saying that they were afraid that Aunt Qin would be tired, so they had already hired month nanny .
That's it. After the daughter-in-law gave birth to a grandson, Aunt Qin went to her son and daughter-in-law's house and gave her a red envelope of 10,000 yuan.
daughter-in-law was smiling, but within a few days, she politely invited Aunt Qin to go home on the grounds that the child's crying would affect Aunt Qin's rest.
daughter-in-law can speak, "Mom, when the confinement period is over, we will take the child back to see you." Look, what else can Aunt Qin say? She still understands what her daughter-in-law says after being a Chinese teacher for most of her life.
Aunt Qin's aloofness did not allow her to live in a stern manner, so she pulled up her suitcase and went back to the old house.
The daughter-in-law quit her job after giving birth, and Aunt Qin only found out afterwards.
eyed as she looked at her grandson with a fat and fat white look, and Aunt Qin's unhappiness was cured by her grandson.
One night when my grandson was about to turn one year old, Aunt Qin was about to rest when suddenly her son came in a hurry. The son told Aunt Qin that the child had not subsided for several consecutive days and had been hospitalized. He had paid two rounds of medical expenses. The money was not enough, so he asked Aunt Qin to help.
Aunt Qin panicked when she heard that her grandson was sick and took her social security card directly, which contained her monthly pension.
My son got the social security card, but told Aunt Qin that it was too late, Aunt Qin should not go to the hospital and wait until dawn before passing.
Aunt Qin was afraid that his old arms and legs would cause trouble for his son, so he stopped following him, so he told his son the social security card password.
The next day, Aunt Qin got up early and took the bus to the subway. When she arrived at the hospital, her eyes turned red when she saw the little grandson on the hospital bed. Forget all the social security card matters.
Fortunately, my grandson recovered and was discharged from the hospital. After recuperation for a while, he became lively again.
After about a month, Aunt Qin saw that the cash she received was almost used up and wanted to get some money to get her social security card to do living expenses. Only then did she remember that the social security card was in her son's hands.
heard Aunt Qin say she wanted to take her social security card back, but her son said she didn't have time during this period and sent it back after she finished her work. After that, she immediately transferred 5,000 yuan to Aunt Qin.
Aunt Qin has no doubt that he is there.
Another two months passed, and the social security card was still in the hands of her son. Aunt Qin has lived for decades and has not had the habit of asking for money with others. Even her son felt uncomfortable, so she urged her son to return the social security card. After asking about it, Aunt Qin realized that her son had just taken away the social security card, and her daughter-in-law took it away. Now the social security card is all under the control of the daughter-in-law, and the son doesn’t know how much he has used it.
As soon as he said he wanted to return the social security card, his daughter-in-law scolded her son, saying that he had no ability to make less money and could not afford to support them, and even quarreled to divorce.
My son was afraid that he would not dare to mention the social security card. I can only find reasons to make excuses for Aunt Qin.
Aunt Qin was so angry that she looked at Jin Xing. She never gave her son home to see her, to ask for 2,000 yuan of living expenses to get a social security card, which is all the idea of her daughter-in-law.
If she doesn't care about it anymore and doesn't say that she has no money to support her old age, her daughter-in-law will be even more overdoing.
When Aunt Qin arrived, her daughter-in-law started to act first and said angrily, "The card is with me, I used the money, and it is used on your grandson. Your son is incompetent and earns little money. You have a pension and can't spend it all, so it's natural for you to support your family."
"I have no obligation to rely on your parents. I will return my card to me. I will not care about your affairs in the future." Aunt Qin paused word by word, making a loud noise.
Aunt Qin found that she was really a big mistake. She helped her son and daughter-in-law again and again, thinking that they would know how to be grateful, but in return they would be more shameless in asking for it.
"Don't forget that you will rely on us to support you in the future. Who do you look for when you can't take care of yourself? No one knows when you die." The daughter-in-law spoke sarcastic and ruthless.
"I live in a nursing home, and I won't bother you. Let me say it aside and return my card to me."Aunt Qin was not threatened and reiterated again.
" If you want to take it away, I will divorce your son. "
"If you don't give it, I will report it tomorrow, and you won't be able to use it. As for divorce, that's your business, I don't care. "Aunt Qin stretched out his hand straight and looked at his daughter-in-law without being humble or arrogant.
daughter-in-law's eyes were staring like copper bells. After persisting for several minutes, she still went back to the room and got the social security card and threw it on the tea table.
Aunt Qin took the social security card and immediately left her son's house, regardless of the son's shouting behind.
Later, Aunt Qin checked and found that the social security card was The money was taken away by his daughter-in-law for 30,000 yuan. Aunt Qin was glad, but fortunately he took it back in time, otherwise he would have been squandered by his daughter-in-law soon.
son and daughter-in-law did not divorce, but the daughter-in-law never returned to the old house. The son occasionally came to see her, and he complained about Aunt Qin's heartlessness in his words.
Aunt Qin did not respond, and as usual, he handed over the clothes he bought for his grandson to his son to take back. On birthdays and Spring Festival, Aunt Qin also gave her grandson a few thousand red envelopes.
Aunt Qin knows that no matter what is the best, her son and daughter-in-law cannot rely on her for the rest of her life. More importantly, it is useless to help people who do not know how to be enterprising and not know how to be grateful.
3
From Aunt Qin's story, we can understand two truths:
Facing the demands of small families, parents should change their cognition and draw a clear line. Indeed, life pressure is relatively high now. If children work hard, they still have financial difficulties that are difficult to overcome. At this time, parents can help within their ability.
But they must not let their children leap their parents, and they also supplement their living expenses, nanny fees and hourly workers If you want to pay for the responsibility of supporting your family, you will only harm your children. The children will never be able to be independent, and you will be hurt by being exploited. It will be a loss no matter how much you say.
If your son and daughter-in-law are aimed at dependent on your parents, whether it is crying or pleading for mercy. Parents should not be rushing to be soft-hearted. You might as well think about what responsibilities belong to your own and what responsibilities belong to your son and daughter-in-law must bear.
let them bear the responsibility belong to your son and daughter-in-law. After all, they are not incapable of being able to do anything, but they are just used to seeking satisfaction and enjoyment, and do not want to work hard. If you don’t force them, they will never be independent.
care is not spoiling, nor indulgence.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also mutual, facing a strong child The daughter-in-law has to be neither humble nor arrogant. Raising a child to prevent old age. In order to ensure the future of old age, most parents will choose to help their sons and daughters-in-law take care of their children. Even if they meet a daughter-in-law who is difficult to talk about, try to endure it as much as possible and look forward to maintaining harmony in exchange for future support.
But in fact, if you really have a kind son and daughter-in-law, you will understand it long ago if you understand filial piety. You have to pay as much as you have to pay. Money will be given to the elderly in the future, which is very unreliable. It is still like this when it is valuable, and it is conceivable how it will be treated when it is not valuable.
The son and daughter-in-law are good, and the mother-in-law will treat it well and do her best to help. If the son and daughter-in-law are demanding excessively and have no respect, the mother-in-law will have to be neither humble nor arrogant. If you have the financial ability to support the elderly, it is more realistic than the son and daughter-in-law who rely on calculating.
