text/yinger
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Tagore once said this: "You can comment on a flower or a butterfly from the beauty of your appearance, but you can't comment on a person like this."
A truly mature and wise person will never judge people by their appearance.
What we call appearance does not only refer to appearance, it generally refers to all external phenomena that people can see.
It can refer to a person's hardware conditions or to a person's past.
These two points happen to be the part people care most about when talking about marriage.
: It is the most common mistake people make in marriage and love. If you pay too much attention to superficial things, it is easy to ignore the true essence.
01 Different pasts will give people different impressions
When talking about marriage, people are accustomed to using the past to judge a person's value.
This is true for men and women.
Colleague Wang Jie is 37 years old this year. She is beautiful, has outstanding figure, has temperament, high emotional intelligence, and has very good financial conditions. However, because she has been hurt in her relationship before, she is still single.
Some time ago, my colleagues introduced her to two men.
One has a short marriage but not children, and the other is an older age. The two are in a similar condition and are both comparable to Sister Wang.
Sister Wang chose an older unmarried man almost without thinking. The most fundamental reason why she is so decisive is that she heard from her colleagues that the man had never been in love.
Under similar conditions, one has been in love and divorced; the other has never had a girlfriend. Use people’s usual thinking to choose, the former is the object of being eliminated.
Men's different pasts will give people a completely different impression, especially when one person is unmarried and one person is divorced. Whether from the perspective of social vision or personal feelings, the first man will give people a better impression.
02 Judging a man's character based on "love history" is an immature manifestation of
In people's established ideas, a man's love history can determine his good or bad.
A man who is divorced will give people a particularly bad feeling. People may doubt his attitude towards marriage or his character.
If he dates more than three girlfriends, he will give people a feeling of irresponsibility, and such people are easily rejected in marriage and love.
Sister Wang refuses to marry a man in the second marriage mainly because of this. She thinks that no one will divorce for no reason. He has certain problems in some aspects. After all, no woman in this world will be so stupid that she can push a good man out.
But for the 38-year-old man who has never had a girlfriend, she has completely different views. She believes that he may have been single because of busy work or introverted personality, and none of these seem to be a problem in her opinion.
There are fewer girlfriends and those with more opposite sexes are bad men. This is a established concept and a relatively naive manifestation.
A man, as long as he doesn't change his girlfriend casually, has dated less than 10 girlfriends at the age of 14, or has had a marriage.
Life is a path full of setbacks. Each of us has different trajectories and experiences. Some people have smooth relationships and some have suffered repeated disastrous consequences. The failure in emotions cannot represent a person's character, but can only represent the journey he has experienced.
People live in this world, not everything can develop in the direction they want. When certain things are far beyond their control, it is reasonable to have unexpected events.
Love history is just a part of a person’s experience. If you want to see a person’s character clearly, there are still many basis for it.
with point cover is neither reasonable nor rational.
03 The clean past of the older "Huanghualang" may hide a big secret that you cannot accept
If you experience too many things, you will find that the bad thing you are doing may not be really bad, and the good thing you think may not be really good.
" single " men have a clean love history, but behind the cleanliness there is often an unknown side.
In the second month of contact with a man, Sister Wang took the initiative to end the relationship and expressed her feelings that "I would rather marry a second-married man than provoke Huang Hualang."
When she contacted him, she realized why he was almost 40 years old and had never had a girlfriend, not because he was busy, but because his personality had serious problems.
He seems to have been living in his own world. All he considers from beginning to end is his own feelings and does not care about others at all.
He never believed in love. In his mind, marriage is a cooperation. He even revealed that he got married to find a woman to have a child.
His selfishness and stinginess scared Sister Wang, and when Sister Wang decided to end the relationship, he was still entangled. If it weren't for the help of the intermediary, Sister Wang really didn't know how to get rid of him.
A man is old and single with a mother and fetus is not necessarily an advantage. While everyone appreciates his clean past, you should look at the essence through the phenomenon and understand the real reason why he has been single for many years.
If the flowers bloom, the butterfly will come. How could a flower with extremely fragrant fragrance not stop for many years?
04 Ying'er said:
When a woman chooses her partner, the most important thing to pay attention to is not appearance, but essence.
The older "Huang Hualang" has a clean love history. He has no ex-girlfriend and no entangled past.
You think that as long as you are with him, you will become the only one in his life, but all this may be just your wishful thinking.
Those men who are old but have never had girlfriends are not as simple as everyone sees on the surface. The problems they have are often the most desperate.
In this extremely noisy world, meeting an older "Huanghualang" may not be a blessing.
I am Ying'er, an original creator who focuses on the field of emotions.
