filial piety is the first priority, filial piety to parents, and supporting parents is a person’s most basic social obligation. It is very hard for parents to raise us for half of their lives. No matter whether we have partners or children, we should be filial to our parents. But after getting married, one problem that is difficult to solve is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is handled well, the whole family will be happy, but if not handled well, it will cause chaos and the family will collapse.
Lao Hu has been very distressed recently because his wife’s relationship with her mother has become worse and worse during this period. When she got married, the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was not good. However, Lao Hu has been mediating between the two of them over the years, so no major incident happened in the past few years. However, after middle age, people are prone to change their temperament after entering menopause, and any small matter will be infinitely magnified.
In recent years, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have had many conflicts. When Lao Hu got married, the wife believed that the couple should live a good life in the world. A family should have only one relationship, that is, the relationship between husband and wife. But when the mother-in-law moved into a new house, it became a family composed of three relationships, husband and wife, mother and son. The daughter-in-law was always a little unacceptable about the mother-in-law moving into a new house, and she had also reacted to Lao Hu many times, but Lao Hu also used "misclerosis". After the three of them spent a while together, the mother-in-law couldn't see what her daughter-in-law thought, but she thought it was appropriate to live with her son. The first conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law appeared.
In the days that followed, the mother-in-law was not idle either. The couple would prepare food for them every day when they went out to work, but each of them had different tastes. The old man had a lighter population and a heavy daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law would order takeaways and go to the restaurant if she couldn't get used to the food made by the elderly. But the concept of the older generation was that it was unhygienic and unhealthy outside, so she could feel at ease with the food at home, so she taught her daughter-in-law several times, but the daughter-in-law didn't think so. She thought that the mother-in-law was too generous and that she could eat what she wanted. This was a very normal thing. Why do you say that she was? But Lao Hu was stuck in the middle and didn't know how to do it, and his nature was "mixed". Seeing his son/husband mediating the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the middle, they didn't say much, but the conflict was getting deeper and deeper.
Soon, the couple had a child, and the old man could hold his grandson/granddaughter when he saw that he could hold his grandson/granddaughter. Even the daughter-in-law who could not see him became pleasing to him. He even treated his daughter-in-law better than his own son every day. He was satisfied every day when his requirements for his daughter-in-law could be met. When the daughter-in-law suddenly became better, she temporarily let go of the barrier. After all, the children in her belly were the most important. At this time, the mother-in-law volunteered to become a "nanny" son and made money outside, and the daughter-in-law would concentrate on raising her baby.
The child was born soon. Everyone who has experienced it knows that women are not very stable during pregnancy and during confinement. The mother-in-law is also a veteran. They choose to endure when their daughter-in-law is in a low mood and excited manner. After all, they have experienced it. They know that women will feel uncomfortable both physically and mentally at this time. But after the child was born, the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law returned to the previous dislike of each other. Lao Hu also felt very helpless about this situation.
One time, when I was having a meal, my daughter-in-law found that there was dirt in the dish and said it. Unlike before, the mother-in-law also expressed her opinion this time, thinking that the daughter-in-law was too pretentious and had to be petty for small matters. Then the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarreled. After Lao Hu had been married for five years, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law further deteriorated since the three years of giving birth. After this quarreling, the two of them had a lot of quarreling in the following years, and the family was in chaos. However, Lao Hu was okay to talk about work, but he was not very good at family emotions. He couldn't interfere every time he quarreled. After the quarreling, he comforted and mediated one by one. However, Lao Hu's approach not only did not work, but further deteriorated the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Until the couple entered menopause, the daughter-in-law's personality became strange, and even some trivial matters of the mother-in-law would be faulty. The mother-in-law had completely grown old at this time, and Lao Hu saw that his mother was covered in white hair and turned to his mother's side. After all, the mother's life would be reduced by one day in the future. Lao Hu also felt uneasy. The mother was really old. Although it is normal for life, old age, sickness and death, it is not good for anyone to feel good about this situation, but the daughter-in-law's relationship with the mother-in-law is still the same as before and even worse.
Under the influence of menopause, the daughter-in-law became more and more disliked by the elderly, and the anger she suffered in the past years also surged into her heart again. During a meal, she became angry because the elderly had eaten an extra bowl and said some ugly words. Lao Hu lost his temper for the first time in more than ten years after "harmony". I think my wife is too much and my mother is old, so why do I still have to quarrel over trivial matters? Is there really a grudge between the two? My wife has had a big conflict with her mother-in-law over the years, but she only caused it. It’s not really that I’m angry about eating an extra bowl of rice. But this was the first time Lao Hu was angry because of his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but he did not look to himself. So the couple had a big quarrel. During the quarrel, his wife filed for divorce. Lao Hu was already tired of "Hannie" and did not agree much.
This time the quarrel was earth-shaking. The two of them had a divorce for several days. Seeing that their son and daughter-in-law seemed to be really going to divorce, the mother-in-law was also panicked at this time. Maybe it was because they would be open to many things when they were old. They also admitted their mistakes to their daughter-in-law and son. The son couldn't bear to see their mother getting angry and wronged when they were old, so he apologized to his wife and told them about the time they spent together over the years. No one could be ruthless? The daughter-in-law was not a ruthless person. In fact, he had been accustomed to this old man in his heart. He had just been fighting for the past few years. He really wanted to say that he disliked the old man and couldn't even say that he hated the old man. If there was a grudge between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the family would have been separated long ago. After the three of them calmed down for a few days, they let go of their grudges and reconciled.
Actually, I don’t know what they are thinking, but I understand the principle of loving the house and the wu. They are the people they love the most. How could they really want to hurt the other person? They may fight and hate each other in normal times. But as time goes by, they actually understood in their hearts that there is no contradiction that cannot be resolved. The older a person is, the more he will let go of some things. I also hope that the old Hu couple can be happy until they are old and that the mother-in-law can enjoy her old age.
