Chinese society attaches great importance to relationships. They have a good relationship with each other. Even if they say the wrong things occasionally, it doesn’t matter.
" Zeng Shiqiang Daily Proverbs"
｜The full text has a total of 2200 words, it takes 6 minutes to read in depth, and benefit for a lifetime |
In today's era, communication is becoming an important ability related to success.
Someone once said that 75% of the factors for a professional's success rely on communication, and 25% rely on genius and ability.
A person who is good at communicating will inevitably have better interpersonal relationships and a wiser way of dealing with things, so that it is easier to achieve success in career and life.
A person who is not good at communication often has poor interpersonal relationships and is bound to offend people and even affect career success.
So, how to effectively improve your communication skills and become a person who is good at communicating and speaking?
In fact, if you do the following well, you will be more than half of it.
1
Strengthen interpersonal relationships and improve poor communication
Interpersonal relationships and communication affect each other. The two can complement each other and can also be incompatible.
Good interpersonal relationships will make communication smoother; good communication can also promote harmony in interpersonal relationships.
On the other hand, poor interpersonal relationships will increase communication difficulties; poor communication will lead to bad interpersonal relationships.
People who are not good at communication should be better strengthened in interpersonal relationships to make up for their shortcomings.
Since Chinese people’s interpersonal relationships are actually human relations, when communicating, we need to integrate ethical concepts and taboos are neither big nor small, otherwise it will damage interpersonal relationships.
For example, if you meet a familiar colleague or classmate, you can pat his shoulder: "Hello, Lao Zhang!"
If you meet a leader or elder and say hello in this way, the other party will be unhappy.
If you meet your subordinate or junior, you just need to wait for the other party to say hello to you.
Chinese society attaches great importance to relationships. They have a good relationship with each other. Even if they say the wrong things occasionally, it doesn’t matter.
If the relationship is not enough, or the relationship is not good, then you will be picky about the bones.
However, there is also the possibility that a good relationship is the first time, and a word hurts the harmony and will never interact with each other. This makes us pay more attention to the importance of communication.
Therefore, People who are good at communicating must always take into account the possible interpersonal relationships.
in order to avoid accidentally destroying your interpersonal relationships and causing bad communication effects, which is not good for you.
2
Master the art of communication and make communication more reasonable
There are many kinds of communication art. Here we share three precautions to make communication more efficient.
- first, so that the other party can listen to it
If the other party can't listen to it, even if you have thousands of words, he will be in front of his ears. The other party can listen to it, which is the first step in good communication.
So before opening, you must be careful to avoid futility.
When the other party can’t listen, we would rather not say it for the time being than force ourselves to death.
Therefore, when communicating, it is not completely unreasonable to be able to drag and drag. It is also an effective way of communication if it is used reasonably.
Chinese people rarely speak straight to the point, but they exchange greetings first to see how the other party reacts. If the other party is in a good mood, you can communicate further.
If the other party doesn’t say a few words, the other party will be very impatient and even serve tea to see the guests. Then you must endure even if there is any important thing, because it is useless to say more at this time, and "no more words are not speculative" is the reason.
Sometimes, in order to make the other person listen, it is easy to take a pleasing approach and try to say something nice to make the other person sound happy and easy to accept.
But it is not easy to please the Chinese.
cannot simply please the other party, and also make the other party listen. The only way is to say it properly.
- Second, learn to observe words and colors
Chinese people are very strange. They don’t necessarily say something in their hearts, but they have to wait for the other party to guess.
Sometimes, even if we force ourselves to say it, we must be vague and unclear; and when we say it very surely, the other party is more careful, because what we say is firmly not necessarily the truth.
At this time, we need to use our ability to observe words and expressions and pay attention to the expressions on the other person's face when he speaks.
Expression can express inner dynamics more than words themselves.
Among human facial features, the eyes are the sharpest and most honest.
The heart is right, and the eyes will be bright. If the heart is not right, the eyes will be dizzy. After listening to his words, he looked at his eyes again. Where can people’s evil and good be hidden?
In addition to expressions, the speed of speaking, the tone of speaking, the rhythm of speaking, etc., can help us understand the other person's psychology.
The different speeds, pitch levels, and rhythm of speech are all for the sake of smooth communication.
- Third, stand on the other side
In terms of communication, Chinese people attach the most importance to perfection, that is, try to stand on everyone's standpoint and make everyone have face.
If many people are together, you cannot just take care of a few people and ignore others.
Because people who are neglected feel very embarrassed, it will cause an emotional rebound and deliberately create many problems, which not only increases communication difficulties, but also produces unpredictable adverse consequences.
Of course, it is really difficult to make everyone have face when there are many people. However, during the communication process, trying to stand on the other party’s side will help the communication smoothly.
3
3clear the direction of communication and ensure good communication
communication, according to the direction of information flow, can be divided into upward communication, downward communication and parallel communication.
objects are different, so there must be different communication methods. How to do it specifically?
- Communicate upward
When communicating upward, subordinates should keep in mind the concept of "up and down", and do not commit the following, and of course there is no need to be servile.
Subordinates should be content with their duties, be careful of their words and deeds, and let their superiors feel respected, otherwise the boss will have to put on the airs of their superiors, and the subordinates will feel faceless.
Some subordinates, and their boss was a little polite to him, so they were so proud that they became too big or too small, which forced their boss to act in a high position.
- communication downward
When communicating downward, "up" should be the subject.
If you want smooth communication, your boss should lower your attitude and not look arrogant, which will make your subordinates afraid and feel disgusted by unwilling to communicate.
Chinese people attach importance to identity and status. The so-called "adults do not care about villains" means "adults" who are unwilling to let go of their identity and be petty about "villains".
Therefore, the higher the person is, the more approachable he should be. When talking to his subordinates, he is like a kind elder, and it is easier for the other person to listen to and achieve the expected goal.
- parallel communication
between the same level, everyone is the same big as it is easy to develop the mentality of "who is afraid of whom", which is very unfavorable to communication.
In fact, no one in China accepts each other. When everyone is in the same position, this phenomenon is more obvious. Even a word or action will cause dissatisfaction among others.
For example, if you say "Listen to me", others will think: "Don't be self-righteous, why do you listen to you?"
In this case, if you want to communicate smoothly, must start with yourself and respect the other party, so that the other party will treat you with the same attitude.
Chinese people talk about interaction. You respect me one foot, and I respect you one foot. Therefore, if you respect the other party, the other party will naturally respect you, so that you can communicate well.
When people deal with people, the most difficult thing is communication.
Indeed, it is not easy for to communicate well with people and achieve the expected goals.
However, as long as you pay attention to methods, adopt a reasonable attitude, and learn the art of communication, you can also become a communication expert and help your life and career success.
Content of this article: Compilation of Professor Zeng's writings
