" My First Half of Life ", the character that has been delayed in writing is Bai Guang. He is not as handsome as He Han , nor as outstanding as Chen Junsheng, but he is too real. Although many people hate the role of Bai Guang, they have to admit that "He Han should only be in heaven, and there is white light everywhere in the world."
Because white light does exist in life, some men are even worse than white light. Bai Guang is too down-to-earth, and his marriage to Luo Ziqun is also a portrayal of many people. A few years ago, I kept wondering why Luo Ziqun fell in love with Bai Guang? Why has Bai Guang been able to maintain his marriage with Luo Ziqun for so many years? Now that I have revisited "My First Half of Life", I finally found the answer.
Degenerate
He Han once asked how Bai Guang chased Luo Ziqun?
Bai Guang said proudly: I'll ask her out to play. When she came, I hugged her and told her that I like her. She was stunned, and then agreed to my confession. I tell you that no matter whether the confession is successful or not, a man must take the initiative.
When Bai Guang and Luo Ziqun fell in love, they were both young and believed that love was the first, and they felt that if they loved each other, they should be together. But Xue Zhenzhu knew that Luo Ziqun and Bai Guang were together, he firmly opposed it. Because Bai Guang looks average, his family is not good, and his work ability is even more average. When he gets married in the future, what will he use to support Luo Ziqun and his children? Give them a happy life?
But Luo Ziqun has been blinded by love and will not marry unless it is white. Even if Luo Zijun introduced Chen Junsheng's single colleague to her, she disagreed. Chen Junsheng has a high education and works in a large company after graduation. His colleagues around him are much better than Bai Guang, who has nothing or even no education.
But Luo Ziqun thought that money could buy everything, but she could not buy love. If she broke up with Bai Guang in order to live a good life, she would lose her original intention of marrying love, so she married Bai Guang without hesitation.
But after marriage, Luo Ziqun found that the happy marriage she imagined was not realized. After marriage, she worked hard to earn money to support her family. But Bai Guang fished for three days and had no job that could last for a long time. Later, the child was born, and Luo Ziqun thought that Bai Guang should have some sense of responsibility as a father.
Who knew that he didn't care about the child. The child cried. He lay on the sofa playing with his phone, ignoring the child's crying. Housework piled up at home, and he would rather play with his phone than spend time cleaning up. He even started a night of dreams of being exposed and quit his job to start a business.
He knew that since Luo Zijun married Chen Junsheng and became a rich wife with no worries about food and clothing, he looked down on Luo Ziqun, who was inferior to her everywhere, but he still let Luo Ziqun endure Luo Zijun's eyes rolling and yelled to borrow money for him to fill the money he lost in his business.
Luo Ziqun has to go to work every day, go home to take care of the children, cook, do housework, and worry about the debts owed by Bai Guang. Luo Ziqun is very tired and very collapsed.
But she couldn't say it because Bai Guang wouldn't understand her. If she said who lives better than her, or who makes money and cares about the family, Bai Guang would be furious and blame Luo Ziqun for despising the poor and loving the rich and looking down on him.
Grievance, unwillingness, and sorrow are covered with Luo Ziqun's increasingly aging face. She had no money to take care of herself, and she didn't have money to please herself, and later she didn't dare to look in the mirror. She was afraid that she would never return when she saw her once young and beautiful.
Luo Ziqun is very pitiful because she is diligent, capable, kind and family-oriented. However, because she is too capable, she not only supports this family with her own strength, but also fills in the mistakes made by Bai Guang.
Before, I felt very sympathetic to Luo Zijun, but now I understand that Bai Guang's depravity and incompetence are related to the way Luo Ziqun treats marriage.
hollow disease
Luo Ziqun and Luo Zijun are real sisters. Both of them grew up in a single-parent family, but their lifestyles and attitudes towards life are very different.
Luo Ziqun is not well educated and is not as beautiful as Luo Zijun, and has no opinion yet. The reason why she likes Bai Guang is very simple because Bai Guang is good to her.Xue Zhenzhu is busy making money to support her family, which has led to her lack of love since she was a child. She doesn't know how to love herself, so she will be willing to accept it and will not be willing to let go.
Bai Guang was the first person she met to treat her well. She was afraid that she would never meet someone who was good to her again after losing Bai Guang, so she married him without hesitation.
However, poor couples are sad, and marriage lacks material foundation, which is destined to be much more difficult than marriages with material foundation. If the couple is willing to share the joys and sorrows and support each other, life will be able to endure.
But Bai Guang didn't have the same heart as Luo Ziqun, which led to Luo Ziqun's life being very tired after marriage and often cried to his family about his difficulties. Later, even her biological mother Xue Zhenzhu couldn't stand it and advised her many times: It's not enough to be able to survive. You can take good care of yourself and your baby!
But Luo Ziqun never listened to these advice because she didn't want to divorce at all. Rather than saying that Bai Guang is inseparable from her, she is inseparable from Bai Guang.
Luo Ziqun lived in a single-parent family since childhood. Although Xue Zhenzhu raised her and her sister, Luo Ziqun understood since childhood that it is too difficult for a woman to live a life. She has a husband at home, even if he is not good in all aspects, at least she can be with her side, helping her and talking when she is tired. Although the white light is not good, the child at least has a father and can live in a healthy family.
Luo Zijun actually carefully measured the pros and cons of divorce. She is not good-looking, has no high education, has no outstanding work ability, and has a child. After divorce, who can fall in love with her? What if the other party treats her and her children badly after remarrying and acts worse than Bai Guang? Will you get divorced again?
So whenever she has a conflict with Bai Guang, she will tell herself, there is no perfect marriage in this world, aren’t everyone going to settle down? If everyone else can make a living, why should she be picky and pursue perfection? Although Chen Junsheng is excellent, he betrayed his marriage. Although Bai Guang is poor, he is in this family.
In order to maintain this marriage, Luo Ziqun began to make no bottom line. Bai Guang owed a lot of money when he failed in business. She was worried that Luo Zijun would not lend it, so she took Xue Zhenzhu to the door and asked Xue Zhenzhu to come forward and say good things. In fact, it is said that it is borrowing, but every time it is borrowing but not repaying.
Luo Ziqun helped Bai Guang fill the hole again and again, and even Luo Zijun couldn't stand it anymore. She didn't understand. Bai Guang was obviously not suitable for business. Why did Luo Ziqun help him invest money again and again, and he also said good things to Bai Guang every time, saying that he wanted to do business or hope that this family would be good, but he didn't expect to be cheated?
Of course, Luo Zijun couldn't figure it out because she didn't understand Luo Ziqun's unwillingness.
Chen Junsheng is more handsome than Bai Guang, and his work is much more decent than Bai Guang. After Luo Zijun married him, he not only lived in a big house, but also served a nanny, buying a pair of shoes worth 80,000 yuan without blinking. As for Bai Guang, he not only has no money to protect Luo Ziqun's life, but also has no money to buy milk powder for his children, but also has to spend Luo Zijun's money.
Xue Zhenzhu felt that Bai Guang was not good at it. Why is Chen Junsheng so capable but he achieved nothing? They are also her daughters, why did they live in the sky and the earth after marrying? So she couldn't stand Bai Guang everywhere and was picky about him everywhere.
Before Luo Zijun and Chen Junsheng had a divorce lawsuit, they went to He Han's house to discuss the matter of competing for custody of the child. After Xue Zhenzhu entered the door, she saw He Han’s luxurious and elegant house, and immediately mocked Bai Guang, saying that he was incompetent. Bai Guang wanted to drink, but before the wine was opened, Xue Zhenzhu said that if she were Bai Guang, she would have hit her head to death.
When Xue Zhenzhu satirized Bai Guang, she never considered the occasion or Bai Guang's mood. Xue Zhenzhu's original intention was to stimulate Bai Guang and make him diligent and motivated, but Bai Guang's ability was limited. No matter how hard he tried, he could not compare with Chen Junsheng. After he found that he could not meet Xue Zhenzhu's standards for his son-in-law, he simply threw himself into the can and lay down.
Xue Zhenzhu didn't know that she was shaking her white light everywhere. In Luo Ziqun's opinion, it was just slapping her in the face in front of others. Bai Guang is so bad, and Luo Ziqun has not divorced him, which means Luo Ziqun is not as good as Bai Guang.
Luo Ziqun doesn't want to admit that she is incompetent, so she protects Bai Guang everywhere. Because she and Bai Guang are the same type of people, they have no ability, but they want to be the center of others and feel that they can't do it without her in life.
When Luo Zijun persuaded Luo Ziqun to divorce, Luo Ziqun cried and said: If I divorce, how can Bai Guang live alone?
Luo Ziqun is thinking about Bai Guang everywhere. She seems to love Bai Guang very much, but in fact she doesn't want to admit her failure. The more unsatisfactory Bai Guang lives, the more he can reflect Luo Ziqun's importance to this family. She could tell others with confidence that she could not transfer this family without her. She feels that being with Bai Guang is valuable and has a sense of existence. Although this sense of existence puts her in a lot of pressure, having a sense of existence is better than not, at least it can prove that someone needs her.
Xu Kewen said: The core problem of hollow disease is the lack of values that support its sense of meaning and existence.
Luo Ziqun’s biggest problem is that she does not have correct values, does not have correct beliefs, and does not know that people should live for themselves first. She builds her sense of existence on others. When a person depends on others more than on herself, she is destined to kneel down mentally.
So in order to show your presence, Luo Ziqun has no bottom line and no dignity in his good reputation. Luo Zijun has divorced Chen Junsheng, and she still asked Chen Junsheng for money with shame. When Luo Zijun blamed her, she not only did not feel embarrassed, but also felt that Chen Junsheng was sorry for Luo Zijun first. She asked him that it was right to ask for money.
Bai Guang guessed Luo Ziqun's thoughts, and he would spend her money unscrupulously and be lazy in peace. Because he knew that no matter what happened, Luo Ziqun would help him with the bottom line.
Gap
When Luo Zijun did not divorce, Chen Junsheng was Luo Ziqun's confidence in protecting the white light. After Luo Zijun divorced, Luo Ziqun always asked Chen Junsheng about borrowing money, but she herself did not have the ability to provide a guarantee, so she began to feel disappointed with Bai Guang.
Especially when she saw Luo Zijun being pursued by Lao Jin, Luo Zijun looked down on Lao Jin and became even more unbalanced.
Luo Ziqun thought that after Luo Zijun divorced, a woman with her children would definitely not be as good as hers. However, after Luo Zijun divorced, she not only educated her children well, but also became the sales champion in the store at work, but was also actively pursued by Lao Jin. She may never meet an excellent suitor like Lao Jin in this life. But Luo Zijun felt that Lao Jin was not worthy of her, so she broke up with him on the voluntary basis.
Luo Ziqun thought that Luo Zijun had left Chen Junsheng and would never meet an excellent man again, but Luo Zijun's divorced life surprised Luo Ziqun. Both are women, Luo Zijun's life seriously frustrated Luo Ziqun's confidence. Those single high-quality men she could not meet not only did not dislike Luo Zijun's divorce, but also helped her to please Luo Zijun.
Luo Ziqun shook the idea of being with Bai Guang for the first time. Since Luo Zijun can meet excellent men after divorce, why can't she do it?
Luo Ziqun envy Luo Zijun for having excellent suitors and feels that he can't eat grapes and says that the grapes are sour.
Bai Guang sensitively sensed Luo Ziqun's changes, and he shouted loudly at Luo Ziqun: You didn't say you were envious, but the expression on your face and every move have long been betrayed you. You have been asking me all day long, have you looked in the mirror yourself? Your sister found Lao Jin, do you think you can find it too? You can have the ability and appearance of your sister. Do you think that's the only one who is like you, can Lao Jin want you?
Luo Ziqun was really moved, so when Ah Hui from the barber shop said a few sweet words to her, she was moved.
She felt that Ah Hui was at least in better conditions than Bai Guang. He had a job and looked good. Marrying him was better than being cowardly with Bai Guang for the rest of his life. If she was with Ah Hui, she could tell Xue Zhenzhu with confidence: My sister can meet Lao Jin, and I can meet someone better than Bai Guang, and I am no worse than Luo Zijun.
Everyone around him advised Luo Ziqun to turn around and stay away from Ah Hui. Luo Ziqun felt that they were all jealous of her. When she took the bus to find Ah Hui, she found that Ah Hui not only had a wife, but also deceived her money. Only then did she realize that she lost completely in front of Luo Zijun.
She did not consider that she lost to Luo Zijun because Luo Zijun was excellent and independent enough, but considered how to leave Ah Hui and let Bai Guang forgive herself. Because now, she has no better choice except Bai Guang.
Xue Zhenzhu told her that neither Bai Guang nor Ah Hui deserved her dependence, but Luo Ziqun only had a famous saying from Xue Zhenzhu in his mind: Why can your sister live a good life? Isn’t it because your sister married a good husband?
In Xue Zhenzhu's perception, whether a woman lives well depends entirely on her husband. She seems single over the years, but in fact she has been looking for someone who suits her and can help her. She was with Cui Baojian not because of love at all, but because Cui Baojian's conditions meet her standards and can help her.
Xue Zhenzhu never thought about relying on herself. She has always been relying on men, so Luo Ziqun never thought about relying on herself. Like Xue Zhenzhu, she believes that women can only live a happy life by relying on men.
But Luo Zijun is different. Chen Junsheng meets all the requirements of Xue Zhenzhu and Luo Ziqun for their partners, but so what? In the end, she was not cheating. She was with Ling Ling and even drove her and her children out of the house.
Before, Luo Zijun also felt that marrying a good husband would be able to have food and clothing in his whole life. But Luo Zijun slowly realized after divorce that no matter how good a man is, he is not his lifelong support. If you rely too much on him and treat him as a part of your body, you will be in pain when he is not good. Since that's the case, it's better to manage yourself well, love yourself more, and look less expectation, and you will feel less disappointed. When you are good enough, the butterflies come.
Just like He Han said: No one will become the safe haven for you in this life, only you are yourself, you are your last shelter. No matter how dilapidated or simple it is better than relying on others' roofs.
sense of crisis
Bai Guang envies He Han and Chen Junsheng. They both lived a life that he would never reach in his life, but He Han said that he and Chen Junsheng envied Bai Guang because Bai Guang didn't pretend. Over the years, he has always pretended to be polite, pretended to be at ease, and pretended not to care about anything, but in fact he is just deceiving himself.
Chen Junsheng said: I don’t pretend, I’m afraid. I'm afraid of losing this and that. Afraid of offending this and that.
Bai Guang said: I don’t pretend or be timid, but I am a waste. I eat my wife’s, and I even scold my wife. The hat on my head is greener than the stock market. What is love in the world? It is to teach people to agree with each other in life and death?
I was surprised when Bai Guang said this. He never felt bad before, but at that time, no matter what problems he encountered, it was someone else's fault. He failed in business and blamed Xue Zhenzhu and Luo Ziqun for being foul-mouthed, which led to him owing a lot of debts. He was unable to give Luo Ziqun a good life, so he blamed Luo Ziqun for despising the poor and loving the rich and refusing to accompany him to endure hardships.
Like many men in reality, he is conceited and arrogant, lacks ability and has a bad temper. He always feels that he is very strong and refuses to admit his shortcomings and other people's excellence.
Now, he began to recognize reality and knew that he had reflected on his shortcomings, and all this was attributed to Luo Ziqun's determination to leave him.
people always squander when they have it; try their best to keep it when they lose it; regret it when they regret it.
This is true for Bai Guang, and so is Chen Junsheng. After he divorced Luo Zijun, he thought Luo Zijun would live a decadent life. But Luo Zijun is not only not decadent, but has become capable and intellectual, exuding the beauty of an independent woman. Chen Junsheng fell in love with Luo Zijun again, and he began to regret marrying Ling Ling. Unfortunately, Luo Zijun no longer looked down on Chen Junsheng at this time.
Through her step-by-step efforts, she not only made Chen Junsheng a subordinate, but also successfully captured He Han's heart.
You see, if you want to get others' likes, you must first make yourself excellent.
is like Ji Han Guying saying: I am not outstanding, it is useless to meet anyone. You have to force yourself to be excellent, and then live a proud life, so that those who once looked down on you would slap yourself in the face.
No matter who a woman marrys, she must understand that the most important thing to rely on in marriage is not the man, but herself. Because the mountains will fall, trees will shake, and everyone will run, only you will be the most reliable. Don’t let yourself be the one who can’t survive without him. Your excessive efforts will only make the other person feel at ease. In marriage, even if the couple has a good relationship, don’t give up on self-growth. You must always keep leaving his capital so that he can feel a sense of crisis. Even if you can't live one day, you still have the ability to make yourself live a good life.
Fellowship is the interaction between two people. If love is gone, marriage is just a form. No one will regard marriage as a joke. If marriage makes you bruised and bruised, it is better to leave and find your own life freely.
Use time of pain and sadness to improve yourself. As long as you go in the right direction, you will be closer to happiness than standing there.
