Preface
According to our usual saying, son-in-law is equivalent to half a son. Many families without sons place their future hopes of retirement on their son-in-law.
I asked a lot of the authors about raising my father-in-law and mother-in-law for the issue of raising my father-in-law and mother-in-law, but everyone has different ideas.
Like 65-year-old Aunt Zheng, she felt: I don’t have a son to support me, so isn’t it normal to find a son-in-law to support me?
But is this really the case? Let’s not talk about whether it is reasonable to ask your son-in-law to retire, but just say: Is your son-in-law willing?
A few years ago, Aunt Zheng's family always had conflicts about which daughter's home to live in for the elderly. Aunt Zheng is still worried about these things; is
? Is it because her son-in-law is unfilial or because Aunt Zheng did something wrong before?
65-year-old Aunt Zheng’s family story:
Self-teller: Aunt Zheng
I have a "son", but I have to let my son-in-law support me
I have a biological son, but he doesn’t recognize me. I have given birth to 4 children and 3 daughters, and the youngest is a son; my husband and I wanted a boy, but when I gave birth to 3 daughters, it was considered a daughter. In the end, we decided to accept our fate and not give birth.
But not long after, I got pregnant again. I specially found a fortune teller. People said that I would not have a son in my life, and I think this fetus is probably still a daughter.
At that time, my husband was busy with school affairs. I was afraid of delaying his career, and I could not bear it even taking care of three children and in-laws, so I wanted to discuss with my husband to remove the child, but the child's father disagreed. He said that this is our flesh and blood;
happened that my elder sister-in-law only had one child due to physical reasons. No matter what, I would raise the child for her when I was born. I agreed at the time, but after I heard that the child knew that this was a kid, and there was no way to regret it. I had already agreed with my elder sister-in-law's family. Anyway, the child would not change his words, and he would still call me mom. This is also something I feel relieved.
But the child will kiss whoever he grows up. My youngest son has always regarded his aunt as his biological mother. The couple can't help it. The child can't count on it anymore. I have only three daughters now. I don't let my son-in-law support him. Who should I go to?
I want to move to my 3rd daughter's house, but my son-in-law turned against me: I want a 350,000 yuan bride price, why should I ask me to provide you with my elderly care?
After my husband passed away, I was really lonely. I thought about it and thought that the one who could support me was my youngest daughter, because their family had better conditions, but when I explained that I was strongly opposed by my son-in-law;
sson-in-law said: At that time, because my father-in-law was a teacher, I felt that our family was not worthy of your daughter everywhere, and in the end he had to pay a 350,000 yuan bride price. Don’t think I didn’t know. You used the more than 300,000 yuan bride price for your son to get married!
: I feel uncomfortable when it comes to this, but I feel that I have always been inclined toward my younger daughter. When I was a child, I left all the good things to my younger daughter, so it is not too much to ask her to support me now, right?
The son-in-law was disturbed and threatened: If you want to enter, you must first make three rules!
First: Return the 350,000 yuan bride price I had before. At that time, my father made some money in business, but he couldn't get so much bride price. But in the end, you forced my father to take over usury in order to get the money. Later, when you got married, it was still a problem. I have always remembered this matter. You are too unhuman. If you don't pay the bride price, then you won't have to talk!
Second: You have children and daughters, and you have three sons-in-law, but you only ask me to support you in your old age. I feel unbalanced in my heart. I can also live in my house, but other children must pay living expenses every month, each family pays 2,000 yuan, which is 6,000 yuan this month. Now hiring a nanny is more expensive than this, but I don’t want to care about so much. After all, they pay and my family contributes.
Third: I know you have always been ashamed of your biological son. I understand this, but you will eventually rely on me to support you. I hope your mentality can be corrected. And if you come to live in my house, it is equivalent to being a son-in-law. You can't favor your biological son openly and secretly. If you get good things, you can't give them to him! Also, your pension is not much, but you have to pay it.
Yutu says
is right or wrong to let the son-in-law support his old age?
There is actually no definite answer to this question. Everyone’s situation is different. Generally, families with sons will not ask their son-in-law to support themselves. After
Family Planning started, there are still many "unsuccessful families" without sons, but in fact, I do not agree with the statement that only sons can support their parents. In terms of pension, sons and daughters are the same. It mainly depends on whether the child is filial and whether he has financial strength.
A situation like Aunt Zheng is quite complicated. She does have a son, but her son does not recognize her. She only has three daughters to support her. However, she only chooses to go to her son-in-law's house. Because her youngest daughter's family is in good condition, it is certain that her son-in-law is unbalanced.
Even if the daughter is willing to support her parents, her daughter and son-in-law are the family, and her father-in-law and mother-in-law are still "outsiders" in their small family.
In situations like Aunt Zheng, it is best not to go to her son-in-law's house to get involved. First, the bride price has been spent by her son, and she can't get the money; second, the son-in-law has always been dissatisfied with her, and there will inevitably be friction when living under the same roof;
In fact, it is not necessary to live in the family home of her children. When she has the ability to take care of herself, she should not drag her children down.
