Marriage is a major commitment, and sometimes you will doubt whether you have chosen the right partner.
Whether your judgment is blinded by a recent argument or you are just curious whether you made the right choice, this article will remove any doubts from you!
The following are 10 signs of your marriage to the right person.
Let's go straight to the topic:
1) They make you feel safe
Marriage is not just a wedding.
marriage is about building a life with someone, and with it the need for security.
If you marry the right person, you should feel:
- You can be very vulnerable in front of them; you can open your heart and say things you may keep from others in your life
- No conversation is a forbidden zone; you are not afraid to let your partner say something or discuss those "tough" topics
- have enough trust to do your own thing; you don't need to be together often.
- You can rely on your partner and vice versa; you know your partner won't let you down when you need it.
But in the end, if your partner is your comfort rather than a source of tension, you will know that you are in a safe marriage.
Are they the kind of people you can't wait to meet after a hard day?
Are they the kind of person you can be 100% yourself without any judgment?
If this is the case, it seems that your choice is correct after all.
2) Your quarrel is constructive
Although your marriage is solid, this does not mean that you will not quarrel from time to time.
The fact is that arguing is actually a good thing.
Why?
This shows that you all care a lot and want to make changes!
But the real key is how you quarrel.
More importantly, how do you resolve your dispute.
If you marry the right person, your quarrel should be handled as soon as possible:
- instead of procrastinating (that is, don’t ignore the other party for several days or cover up the problem).
- remains quite "clean" (i.e., both of you avoid disrespectful, rude or threatening behavior).
- focuses on finding a result (effective for both of you and will improve your relationship).
If your spouse has long-term investment in marriage, quarrels are inevitable.
But if both of you struggle to have a constructive quarrel and overcome your problems together, dear, you will be winners.
Now, your quarrel may have a reason, not ending with destruction...
3) You have similar life values
If you don't, this is obviously a big problem!
People have a common misunderstanding about choosing a mate, believing that choosing a mate depends entirely on love.
Love is important, but having similar life values is the key to maintaining a long-term marriage.
Do you and your partner want the same future?
Have you decided to have a child? If so, do you have a consensus on the way to raise children?
Do you have a consensus on how to manage finances?
Is your religious beliefs (or lack of religious beliefs) consistent?
Things are like this:
You don't need to agree with your spouse on everything. You may have different goals and ambitions, and that doesn't matter.
But your values must be consistent, and you need to be consistent on big things.
Common values can make you unite in difficult times and bring you happiness at the peak of your relationship. While values can be adjusted, they cannot be changed, they define who you are. Couples must have similar values or else they will live forever in disappointment and resentment.
4) You support each other
Do you think your decision has been supported?
support is another key factor in marriage – your spouse should support you when the whole world is against you.
By supporting each other, you not only show your concern for them to your spouse, but you are also investing in your marriage. When you support the other person, you are saying, "I hope this marriage is healthy. I am willing to work hard on it. You are important to me!
But, that doesn't mean you always agree with everything your partner does.
There are a few times in my marriage that I didn't agree with my husband's decision.
Although I have enough security to let him know that I have doubts, he also has security and knows that I will support him anyway (only It will not hurt both of us).
Finally, if your spouse is always by your side, supporting you, and encouraging you to pursue your dreams, you have chosen a great partner!
5) Do you like their company
do you really like being with your spouse?
Marriage means not only being a serious and responsible adult, but also enjoying life The fun of living!
This is someone who is likely to spend the rest of your life with you, it is important to like them!
But, that doesn't necessarily mean you have to like to do the same thing.
My husband plays poker and I hardly shuffle it.
I like to watch horror movies and he tends to keep hiding behind the pillow.
But we all try to go Do what we know each other like. Of course, we also have things we like together, such as travel, dogs and food!
So, if you look forward to spending time with your spouse, I will say you are married to the right person.
But to have a good time, there are more things to do, which leads to my next point...
6) You also enjoy the time alone
If you marry the right person, they should also respect your need to separate.
If both husband and wife have their own time, either pursue their own interests or just relax, marriage will also benefit. Personal time allows us to maintain our personal identity, provide opportunities to do what we love to do, and make us feel like we have some control over our lives. Time alone actually helps keep a relationship fresh and reduce stress.
So, you see, private time is not "escape" your marriage or spouse, but taking the time to reconnect with yourself.
It can be as simple as:
- with friends (spouse is not around)
- Go running alone
- Be able to sit in another room at home reading without being disturbed
If your spouse recognizes this The importance of even encouraging you to do this means you have chosen a great life partner.
7) You all can compromise
You may have heard of it many times - compromise is a key component of any successful relationship.
So, how does compromise work? Why is it so important?
Well, this is an example of what I have experienced recently.
Last weekend, my husband wanted to invite his mom to have dinner with her partner.
I've told him I want a weekend without guests because I have a lot of work to rush.
But when he mentioned inviting his mom again, I didn't feel frustrated and decided to compromise.
"I've already made my weekend full, but why don't we invite her to have afternoon tea on Wednesday? "
What about the result?
A happy husband, a happier mother-in-law, and I can work alone at home on weekends!
You see, compromise shows to the other party that you do care what they want. But it doesn't mean you have to give up your plan altogether.
But you have to work together to find a solution that suits both of you.
After all, marriage is about becoming a team!
8) You can laugh together
Now, this is very important. Can you laugh with your spouse?
I'm not referring to the weird laughter that comes from the occasional when comedians appear on TV.
I mean the kind of laughter rolling on the ground and being out of breath! You know, being a look can make your spouse feel you are smiling. You know, just one look will make you giggle again.
Don't misunderstand what I mean, people won't spend the entire marriage giggling. There is always a time and place, but it's necessary to be able to smile with your partner.
Honestly, life can get pretty dark sometimes.
You need to have someone who can make difficult situations easy and make a smile reappear on your face!
So if you can live your life with a smile with your spouse, not only will you keep your abdominal muscles, but your mental health will also benefit from all dopamine , oxytocin and feel good endorphin .
9) You encourage each other and grow together
However, although it is a good thing to joke from time to time, there is one thing your spouse should not take it lightly, and that is your personal development.
The following are several very critical questions you must ask yourself:
- Do your spouse encourage you to grow and become your best self?
- Do they encourage you to follow your dreams and believe in yourself?
- Is your spouse supporting your efforts to heal old trauma and embrace your true self?
If they don't support it, I'm sorry, you may have married the wrong person.
But if they do, wow, you're lucky. You see, personal development is very important in marriage. It will not only make you feel more secure, but also strengthen your relationship with your spouse! You should take the time to get to know your spouse.
Just as you should take the time to improve your marriage, you should take the time to improve yourself. This is a way to break the toxic communication cycle and habits between couples. This is the key to a successful and long-term relationship!
10) You care about each other's needs
The last sign that you marry the right person is whether they pay attention to your needs.
Have your spouse:
- gives you enough attention? (They don't get immersed in their phones when they talk).
- asked a question? (For example, how are you doing today? How are the meetings? Do you feel good to meet your old friend?)
- is interested in your interests? (Did they make an effort, even if it's not something they personally care about?)
- Remember those things that are special to you? (such as things you may feel sensitive, or things you like to celebrate).
This is the thing, you marry this person because they make you feel that you are special. They will notice details that others may miss.
They sincerely want to know your situation and whether you have a good day.
If this is still the case, your marriage will obviously be happy. Now, leave the Internet and enjoy your spouse’s company!
But what if you've finished reading all these signs but none of them can be the same as the situation between you?
What if you marry the wrong person?
If you find yourself sitting there, hope the above points also apply to your marriage, which is a good indication that you are not married to the right person.
But before you get stuck in a black hole and start contacting a divorce lawyer, take a deep breath and consider the following:
No marriage is perfect.
In my own marriage, sometimes we will laugh together, sometimes we won’t. We've been nervous all the time. The same goes for
support - in most cases, we always support each other, but sometimes we lose our word.
What am I trying to say?
If you really love your partner and they really love you, then there is still hope! We can't expect spouses to be perfect, but if they try their best, then you may not want to give up yet...
Consider marriage counseling - it may just be that you need some way to better navigate the ups and downs of a marriage. Professional help can help you to turn the “wrong” spouse into the “right” spouse to the “right” spouse to the big one!
But what if your doubts are deeper?
It may be time to accept the fact that you have not married the right person.
Maybe you may feel like the end of the world, but with the right support you can keep moving forward and find true love again. As you can see from the above points, it's very worth it when you do it!
Do you like what you just read? I want to know what you think of it. So, leave a message in the comment section. In addition, remember to search for Fei on WeChat to chat about emotions and follow Fei'er. Fei'er promises that Fei'er will become the lucky charm of your beautiful love life.
