In the movie " Mind Catcher ", the psychologist asked Will why he didn't want to continue dating with the girl he liked.
Will replied:
"She is perfect in my mind now, and I don't want to destroy this beauty."
Is it two people in love who are in love, the closer they get, the more likely they lose their beauty?
distance creates beauty. When there is no distance between each other, this beauty will disappear.
The relationship between famous writers Li Ao and Hu Yinmeng is the same.
When Li Ao did not live together, he was extremely obsessed with Hu Yinmeng.
Hu Yinmeng is the most flawless goddess in Li Ao's mind. He is protecting this girl all the time.
But after living together, Hu Yinmeng's shortcomings gradually exposed. After
accumulated to a certain level, Li Ao finally couldn't bear it and left decisively.
Li Ao said:
"Living under the roof together, there is no real beauty."
So, what is the way to fight the loss of "beauty"?
is to deliberately create a "sense of distance".
-01
Love you but don’t get close to you. I don’t want to destroy this beauty
Those who truly love flowers will not pick this flower.
They will only protect this flower, take care of it day after day, love it, watch the flowers grow up day by day, and then bloom more and more delicate flowers. The same is true for
Love someone.
Those who truly love you will not approach you easily because they are worried about destroying this beauty.
People who are full of idealism will not have love too early.
Compared with love, they prefer the state of being close and ambiguous and sweet.
Only in the process of ambiguity can each other's advantages be continuously amplified and maintained.
When you get along with the opposite sex, why do you already notice the other person’s feelings for you, but he is unwilling to take the initiative to find you?
is not that he doesn’t love you, but that he is not ready to be with you.
-02
The more I love you, the more inferior you are
What accompanied love must be " inferiority ".
In front of your lover, we will not be controlled to amplify our own shortcomings and several times the advantages of our lover.
This is "the lover's eyes show the Xi Shi". Even if the lover has many shortcomings, in your eyes, those will become advantages.
And the advantages you have in your daily life and the things you are proud of may also appear insignificant in front of your lover.
In fact, love that makes you feel inferior is not true love.
In other words:
The reason why you are inferior is that you always "love someone one side"; you are not sure whether the other party will accept you, and you are more worried that your confession will be rejected.
However, if you want to have love, you must give yourself some courage.
Real is the most valuable; sincere is enough to touch people.
In love, everything that is pretending will eventually be "exposed".
Just like the story told by a psychiatrist in "The Mind Catcher":
He lived with his wife for many years.
One night, he was awakened by his wife's "far". Then the dog they raised at home also woke up and started barking; in the end, his wife was even awakened by his own fart.
After waking up, the wife did not realize that it was caused by herself, but instead asked the psychologist:
"Did you fart? This is too smelly."
psychologist smiled and said, "Yes."
When talking about this experience, the psychologist always had a smile on his face.
He said:
"The real thing is the best, because real ability determines who will enter your world; it doesn't matter whether the girl you love is perfect, what matters is whether you are suitable."
What is true love?
is the one who accepts the most real you, not the perfect you that pretends to be.
-03
Love mode for "avoiding attachment" people
The most typical characteristics of people like this are:
The more intimate relationship, the more they want to escape;
The better others treat him, the more uncomfortable he is;
cannot establish benign communication with others, and always chooses to be silent and hide himself in a cave;
is always inferior in intimate relationships, lacks self-confidence, and dare not express himself.
, do you think it fits very well?
When avoidant people fall in love with you, they are very tired and you are also very tired.
He likes you, and you also like him. Just a confession and an opportunity, and you can get together smoothly.
But he is always silent and always retreats; the closer you get to him, the more nervous he will be. Love like
is torture to each other.
In essence, people who love you very much but dare not get close to you lack the "ability and courage to accept yourself".
people should first understand themselves, face themselves, and accept themselves.
You must understand that everyone has shortcomings; if you are not perfect, the person you love is not perfect either.
Accept yourself and view the other person correctly, so that you can have the courage to love each other.
Today’s topic:
Will you take the initiative or hesitate if you fall in love with someone?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
