The most beautiful thing in the world is to have a few serious and upright friends with a mind and heart. Many times, some words are not necessarily shared by relatives for some concerns, so high-quality friendship is often the best escort in our lives. However, human hearts are very complicated things. We all know the preciousness of friendship, but ignore the importance of maintaining friendship.
Have you ever had such an experience? You were good friends who could talk about everything, but for some reason, you gradually became estranged, gradually became distant, and finally parted ways. Therefore, no matter how good the relationship between friends is, you should pay attention to some unspoken rules. The relationship between people is often not a single choice, not a single choice, but a multiple choice, which can be a win-win situation.
As Marx said: "People's life cannot be separated from friendship, but it is not easy to get real friendship; friendship always requires loyalty to sow, irrigation with enthusiasm, cultivation with principles, and care with understanding."
So, no matter how close the relationship between friends is, don't ignore these 10 unspoken rules.
1. Cultivation, it is important to understand the human nature and the world
There is an old Chinese saying, "Familiarity is not polite". It means that there is no need to stick to etiquette among familiar people.
However, in life we often see that some people can greet strangers with a smile, but often speak ill of each other when they treat friends. Finally, I inexplicably hurt my feelings, but I didn't know it. In fact, such thinking logic is a misunderstanding.
People get along with others, treating each other with courtesy should be our basic quality, and there should be no distinction between closeness and distantness. Many times, a person's deep education is reflected in his attitude towards acquaintances.
Before, I saw a story in the post bar: there was a girl who needed to move at the end of the month, so she asked her childhood friend to help. Although the childhood friend agreed to the girl's request, she kept cursing.
Later, on the day of moving, my childhood friend broke his promise because he was going to attend a party with other friends. Because of this little thing, the girl blocked her friends she had been with for more than 20 years. Finally, the girl said sadly: "She has always been like this since she was a child. She can help friends who have just met for a few days, but she doesn't care about friends who are like brothers."
Tower once said: "Although broken friendship can be restored, it can never reach the level of intimacy."
Adult friendship is actually extremely fragile. The breakdown of friendship often comes from some seemingly inconspicuous trivial things. There are many etiquette issues in getting along with friends. If you ignore them, as a result, your interpersonal relationships will definitely become worse and worse.
Many times, the closer the relationship is, the more we need to maintain and manage it with care. Therefore, treat everyone around you, regardless of your closeness, you must treat each other with courtesy, so that our life path can be smooth and unimpeded.
2. Integrity, you should pay attention to the transactions between borrowing money and goods. Some people think that friends are not distinguished from each other, and some people make friends but function their friends, so asking for things, borrowing cars, and borrowing money often happens. In fact, this purely functional idea is very hurtful to friendship. In other words, this is not friendship at all.
Friendship often becomes more difficult to deal with when it comes to money.
If you borrow money from a friend, you should repay the agreed deadline as soon as possible. Reputation is the most basic principle of being a human being. The relationship between people is maintained by the word "sincerity". If you break the contract again and again, you will destroy not only your friendship, but also your reputation.
"Yu Lizi" records a story of his life due to breach of trust. JiyangA businessman sank when crossing the river. He grabbed a cannabis pole and shouted for help. A fisherman came when he heard the sound. The businessman hurriedly shouted, "I am the biggest rich man in Jiyang. If you can save me, I will give you 100 taels of gold." After being rescued, the businessman turned against him. He only gave the fisherman 10 taels of gold.The fisherman blamed him for being untrustworthy and going back on his word.
The rich man said, "You fisherman can't make a lot of money in your life. Are you not satisfied with the sudden amount of ten taels of gold?" The fisherman had to leave in a bad mood. Unexpectedly, the rich man capsized again on the spot. Someone wanted to save him, and the fisherman who had been deceived by him said, "He is the one who doesn't keep his word!" So the merchant drowned. It was accidental for a merchant to capsize twice and meet the same fisherman, but the merchant's unlucky reward was expected.
Because if a person does not keep his trust, he will lose the trust of others in him. So, once he is in trouble, no one is willing to help him. Those who break their trust in others will have to sit and wait for death if they suffer. If two people are involved in a business, they must make it clear in advance, so as not to have any disagreements in the future and friends cannot do it. If a business fails to achieve righteousness, a strong friendship is often more important than a business.
3. Humility, don’t show off in front of friends
The tree attracts wind. If you have something, don’t show it out every day. Just know happiness yourself. If it is put out, that is vanity and show off. You bought a new car, you bought a new house, you got a new couple, try to avoid wandering in front of friends in this way. Everyone knows in their heart that it is not appropriate to show off their wealth in their circle of friends, and it is the same in front of their friends.
You can share joy in front of your friends, but it is too much, it is just showing off. When you make friends with a superior mood, what you get will not be the other person's envious look, but the distance, the distance between you and your friends. Distance will not produce beauty, but estrangement.
4. Understand, you should be right to things and not people when dealing with things. If you are wrong, you will be considered
Friends will inevitably have conflicts when they get along with each other. In addition to handling standards, you should also try to be right to things and not be right to people. After the matter is over, you should be over. Don’t hold grudges or pursue them. Leave a room for turning around and also give yourself a broader sky. When Guan Zhong was working together in a business deal with
Guan Zhong’s and Bao Shuya , Guan Zhong’s family was poor and he paid more than Bao Shuya, but he would get more when he distributed dividends. Bao Shuya's men were very unhappy and scolded Guan Zhong for being greedy. But Bao Shuya explained: "Why is he greedy for this amount of money? His family is in a difficult life, so I deliberately gave it to him." Guan Zhong had been an official three times, but all of them were dismissed. Bao Shuya believed that it was not that Guan Zhong had no talent, but that he had not met anyone who appreciated him.
Guan Zhong once led his troops to fight. When he attacked, he hid behind him, but when he retreated, he ran in the front. His soldiers looked down on him, but Bao Shuya said, "Guan Zhong has an old mother in his family. He protects himself to serve his mother, and he is not really afraid." Guan Zhong sighed after hearing this, "You know me, Bao Zi!" In the end, Guan Zhong became a famous prime minister who assisted the dominance of Qi State.
5. Respect, avoid commenting on friends’ friends
No matter how stupid what friends do, don’t make comments easily. Everyone has their own circle of friends and their own way of doing things. Keeping silent properly is also a kind of respect for friendship. A truly mature person will not easily evaluate the good or bad of others, let alone friends of friends.
There are no old or young people in life, so why bother with each other first? You have your choices, and your friends have your choices, and you need to know how to respect other people's choices. Whether out of respect or a kind heart, you should remember that it is better to say less.
6. Distance, don’t get in and out with your friends’ partners.
This is a very sensitive thing. Even if you can guarantee that you will not have any problems, you can guarantee that others have no thoughts about you. When friends get along with each other, they fall in love with their friends’ partner. Maybe the bloody drama is just the plot of a TV show, but you should not have to do more contact with each other alone.
Some people say "fireproof, theft, and the best friend". Although it is ironic, it is not unreasonable. Just be yourself and get along well in your own circle. If your friends are friends, the distance should be maintained. Such distance will not alienate you, but will maintain friendship.Friendship should be as pure as the fog in the morning, and friendship can only be consolidated with faithfulness.
7. Rest assured. If you are not treating a guest, don’t let your friends pay for it.
A small gathering between friends is best. Maybe one meal or two is really nothing, and it won’t cost much money, but it will inevitably make friends uncomfortable. When dealing with people, you only need to be at ease. If you often ask friends to pay for the bill, it will inevitably make people feel that you are a person who likes to take advantage of it, and you won’t feel at ease in your heart.
8. Be honest, sometimes the truth is hurt, don’t be afraid to tell the truth.
Even if the truth sometimes hurts friends, honesty is the foundation of a solid friendship. Don’t be ashamed of admitting your mistakes, face the mistakes you have made, ask your friends for their understanding, and get along with each other with honesty. "When you see good things, you will move, and if you make mistakes, you will correct them." This is the teaching of our ancestors, and it is also something we should remember at all times. People will inevitably make mistakes. Some people choose to face them, while others choose to hide them.
can be hidden for a while, but not for a lifetime. If you didn’t tell your friends honestly, what else can you maintain your friendship on the day when the truth is revealed? Since your friend has chosen you as a friend, he will definitely accept your shortcomings and mistakes, accepting reality calmly is more open-minded than racking his brains to whitewash it.
9. Warm and gentle. Even if you are a friend, don’t comment on friends in too mean language.
Sanmao Once said: "When talking to friends, you need to be careful. Adults should do their best to do things step by step. If you don’t spread bad words, you can promote friendship between the two parties. Reducing right and wrong is an important part of promoting interpersonal relationships. Good words should be passed on more, and bad words should not be passed on."
Many times, adults have enough friends, and one sentence is enough. However, in real life, there are still many people who hurt their friends unscrupulously under the guise of "we are very familiar with each other".
Some time ago, Big S was scolded by netizens for mocking Aya as a person who was not in harmony in body proportions. After the incident, Big S also tried to clarify that she was not that kind of person, and this was just their way of getting along from childhood to adulthood. Even Aya quickly posted on Weibo to speak for her friends, but netizens did not buy it. In fact, the emotions of netizens are completely understandable. Although the ways of getting along with friends are different, this does not mean that friendship does not require maintenance and management. Many friendships are broken by those mean words.
In the United States, there is a male actor with superb acting skills who has suffered from countless ridicule and rolled his eyes because of dwarfism. However, he conquered everyone with his strength and strength.
Some time ago, a comedian suddenly made a joke about the male actor while performing on stage. He said, "He (a male actor) is indeed an excellent and powerful actor, and he is also my friend. Do you know how hard he works to improve his acting skills? He is actually 1.9 meters tall. In order to play a good role, he specially shortened more than 60 centimeters."
Obviously, this is a joke to mock the height of a male actor. Although he calls each other "friends" and is wrapped in a layer of "humor" cloak, it actually has a thorn in his words. Later, the male actor also responded: "When you laugh at a dwarf, please don't forget that you are not the first person to laugh at him as short. Please be a little creative next time."
Cai Kangyong once said: "Whatever you say is what kind of person you are." A truly well-educated adult never pokes his friends' sore spots without any silence, nor does he make friends jokes without scruples. Understand that when you treat your friends with a harsh word, you will lose your hard-won good friends. Therefore, you must take good care of every friendship around you so that you can be worthy of friendship and the road of life will be wider and wider.
10. Gratitude, think from the perspective of others, know how to be grateful
People who know how to be grateful are always wonderful, and people who know how to be grateful always see the beauty of others, and they can understand and tolerate others more.Therefore, you should remember your friends’ kindness and help to yourself, and repay the kindness of a drop of water with a spring of water, so that kindness and love will flow between you.
When a friend refuses his request, think more from the perspective of others, understand the difficulties of others, and put your heart in mind. Only by cherishing and raising can you manage good friendships.
Gibran once said: "Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity." The length of friendship is long and short, and it depends entirely on how we maintain it. Although friendship becomes fragile and sensitive as an adult, its preciousness is worthy of our careful maintenance.
Just as Cicetu said: There is nothing better or more pleasant in the world than friendship; without friendship, the world seems to have lost the sun. I just hope that in the future world, a beautiful and comfortable friendship will not become a luxury.
