"Since ancient times, deep affection cannot be retained, but only routines win people's hearts."
Many boys who have not been in a relationship feel that it is too right when they see this sentence. Girls can't see it. On the contrary, those boys who know how to do routines are loved by girls. So I learned love skills and routines, but in the end I found that I still couldn't grasp the love I wanted.
Love is a matter between two people, including loving others, and being loved by the other person. Only love or being loved is not true love, and it is difficult to feel happiness from it.
Boys pursue girls because they like each other. The process of pursuit is to let girls see themselves, like themselves, and finally fall in love with themselves.
At the same time, you must also fall in love with a girl in this process. Otherwise, if the girl accepts the pursuit and cannot truly love the other person, then such an intimate relationship cannot last long.
So skills and routines may help you establish a short-term intimate relationship, but if you don’t love each other sincerely, how can you get the other person’s true love? The happiness obtained in such a relationship is false, like a soap bubble, which can be broken with one click.
If you want to gain true love and experience the happiness brought by love, you must give your sincerity, love the other person, let the other person feel your love and fall in love with you.
Can't see your "true" girl? Because you are thinking about yourself!
Many boys may feel wronged when seeing this sentence. They obviously used sincerity when they got along with girls, but girls couldn't see it at all. They either were cold or refused. They seemed to prefer boys who could trick things.
Is this really the case?
Let’s take a look at the boys’ “true moments” and how girls feel:
1. Secret love.
Seeing a beautiful girl, the boy felt that she was the type she liked, and she wanted to know her, but she was afraid that she would be too abrupt and refused by the girl, so she could only watch silently and dare not move forward.
Even girls dare not look directly in front of them, their eyes dodging, and they want to be nice to girls, but they are afraid that the girls will see their thoughts and keep silently protecting them. As long as girls have requests, boys will agree.
Does boys who have had a crush on their relationship feel very affectionate? I obviously liked the other person very much, but I was afraid of the abrupt and beautiful woman. I thought about it day and night and became haggard for her. I felt that I was the true love for girls without asking for anything in return, and finally moved myself very much. But girls have no expression on this and have never paid attention to themselves.
You should know that no one can mind reading . If you don’t show your likes and appreciation, girls will not be able to feel it. No matter how many inner dramas you play, they will be entertaining themselves.
Unless a boy has a very good personal condition and is good-looking, which can attract girls to come to actively, most ordinary boys will not pay attention to him if they cannot receive information that they are interested in girls.
Even if a girl feels that a boy has a good impression of him, she is willing to give him a chance, and she also needs to seize the opportunity to go further. Otherwise, the boy will always be timid and dare not take a step forward. The girl will feel very annoyed. In the eyes of girls, such a person is a loser and has no personal charm.
2. Chasing hard.
The boys who choose to have a crush lack courage. There is one type of boys who are full of courage. They come forward to confess their love without hesitation when facing the girl they like, and are not discouraged when they are rejected by the girl. They send messages, make phone calls, send flowers, give gifts, and even block girls at home and company just to impress the girl.
But the girls are becoming more and more determined, from polite rejection to stern refusal to harsh refusal to harsh refusal.
Boys feel very wronged. You can't see my sincerity towards you. I repeatedly refuse and put my dignity under my feet. So I came to the conclusion: it is useless to pursue girls with sincerity. In the eyes of girls, a boy like
, the "true heart" of a boy is not only not moved, but will feel scared.
As a girl, a boy pursues herself. Whether the boy likes or not, this is a happy thing in most cases, because this is an affirmation of his personal charm. Unless the boy is very low, it is embarrassing to make the girl feel that being pursued by him is a shame.
Almost all girls will immediately have a suspicion about men when facing boys’ pursuits, “Is he serious?”, “Is he a good person?”, “Is it dangerous for me to contact him?”…
So few girls can accept boys immediately when they are pursued by boys. Instead, they have to dispel their doubts through a period of observation and confirm that boys are trustworthy, so that they will be willing to get along with boys.
At this time, the way and method of boys pursuing girls is very important. They should not only show their sincerity, but also not put pressure on girls and show their personal advantages in a timely manner.
The way of pursuing and fighting hard as described above obviously does not take into account the feelings of girls at all, and only focuses on achieving their own goals. Not only will the girls not let go of their doubts, but will inspire girls to self-protection mechanism , just want to stay away from danger.
3. I am me, a different firework.
The younger brother of my friend Xiaotao is 27 years old, 176cm tall, 140kg weight, looks pretty and has a stable job, and is in good condition in all aspects. He is not going smoothly when getting out of singleness. He met a few girls and basically ended in one or two months. Everyone thinks that he has not met the right person.
Some time ago, I introduced Xiaoyu, a new colleague from the company, to Xiaotao. Xiaoyu is beautiful and has a generous and enthusiastic personality.
Both of them felt good when they met and said they could get along with each other. After a month, Xiaotao told me that Xiaoyu told him that the two were not suitable and there was no need to get along with each other anymore, so that's it.
Xiaotao asked the reason, Xiaoyu said that Xiaotao was too self-centered and had no one in his heart, and Xiaotao thought he was just unwilling to disguise and show his true self.
Xiaoyu told me a few details about the relationship between the two, and I found the root cause of Xiaotao's difficulty in getting out of singleness.
The two had just met for two days. Xiaotao asked Xiaoyu for dinner for the first time and asked Xiaoyu what she wanted to eat. Xiaoyu suggested eating Western food. Xiaotao said, "Western food is steak and bread, which is expensive and not delicious." Xiaoyu said, "Otherwise, eating Chongqing hot pot ?" Xiaotao said, " butter hot pot has too high calories, heavy taste, and is unhealthy." Xiaoyu was a little unhappy and asked Xiaotao to settle down and not picky about food.
As a result, until the two met, Xiaotao was not determined to eat. Finally, he found a restaurant to have a meal. This incident greatly reduced Xiaoyu's impression of Xiaotao.
Later, the two made an appointment several times. Whether it was Xiaotao's appointment with Xiaoyu or Xiaoyu's appointment with Xiaotao, Xiaotao always had a negative opinion on what Xiaoyu proposed to eat and where to go, but every time he couldn't make any better suggestions, which made both of them unhappy.
While the two of them get along, Xiaoyu found that Xiaotao rarely accommodates her. After dinner, Xiaoyu wanted to walk and digest, but Xiaotao thought that walking was too tiring and wanted to take a taxi;
When watching a movie, Xiaoyu wanted to drink hot drinks, and the cinema only sold cold drinks, and had to go out to buy hot drinks, and Xiaotao would ask Xiaoyu to just let her go;
Such a thing happened once, Xiaoyu could understand, thinking that boys didn't understand girls' thoughts, but such things always happened. Xiaoyu felt that Xiaotao didn't care about him or her thoughts at all.
, but Xiao Tao believes that no matter how much they like each other, if they cannot say what they want to say, do what they want to do, and blindly accommodate each other, it is not sincere.
result Xiaotao missed the opportunity to get out of single again and again because of his "sincerity".
Some boys who have difficulty getting out of singleness have very good personal conditions. They can get the favor of girls in the early stages of getting along with girls, and girls are willing to continue to contact them. However, as the two of them get along, boys' "being themselves" will "persuading" girls to withdraw.
Those boys who always talk about "being themselves" are selfish in the eyes of girls, not knowing how to accommodate or tolerant, and they can't entrust their lives to the rest of their lives.
or above three manifestations of boys and girls getting along with each other are actually a problem, which is the lack of " empathy ".
All the "sincerity" of pursuing girls and getting along with girls starts from your own perspective. What you consider is your own feelings and ideas, and do not care about girls' feelings.
chooses a boy whom he has a crush on, but is not for the sake of girls, but for the fear of being rejected.
chooses to chase and beat boys who are so brave, not for the sake of girls, but for the sake of getting it as soon as possible;
wants to be his own boy, not for the sake of girls, but for the sake of feeling more comfortable when getting along with him.
When a girl does not feel cared for, cared for, and cared for, she will not believe that she is loved, and will not be willing to enter an intimate relationship.
All boys who have won the favor of girls are not necessarily those who know routines and skills, but they have a common characteristic that the first thing they want to do when doing anything is to make girls happy, so that girls will be happier if they are happy.
There must be boys who think this is just a "limbing dog"? A big mistake!
"Listen Dog" wants to get anything. They want to make girls happy, with the purpose of making girls accept themselves, and there is no bottom line or principle for this.
But having "empathy" means that you can understand others more, so you will care more about others, and while understanding and tolerant, you can stick to your own bottom line and principles.
How to correctly express your sincerity?
1. Think less about yourself and think more about girls.
The same behavior, different purposes, and girls' feelings are also different.
For example, if you are also having an appointment with a girl for dinner, if your purpose is to get intimate contact with a girl, then your focus in the whole process will be to find the right time and you will definitely ignore the interaction between the two people during the meeting.
When a girl finds that you are absent-minded, her feelings must be bad, and the atmosphere between the two will also become very awkward.
But if the purpose of getting in touch with girls is to get to know each other and give girls a good feeling, then your focus in the process will be on girls. You will consider what dishes you order, pay attention to what the girls say, and the girls’ emotional reactions.
A girl feels being paid attention to and cared for, and she will be more relaxed and willing to communicate with you, so that the relationship between the two will be easier to develop.
So when you get along with girls, pay more attention to girls’ feelings when doing things, and pay less attention to your own feelings. You will find that girls’ attitude towards you will be much better.
2. The development of feelings requires gradual progress.
The feelings between people must be accumulated through spending time and interaction, and only in this way can the accumulated feelings be stronger.
So boys should not be impatient when they get along with girls. They want to be recognized and accepted by girls through a confession or performance.
As long as the girl does not explicitly refuse, it means she has a chance. Only by doing what you should do and showing yourself little by little can you get to the girl's heart step by step.
Girls will not accept you immediately just because you do something well in one go, nor will they reject you because you do not do it well in one go. The key is whether you can do things well in a period of time than in a bad way, so that girls will believe in you more and more, rather than become more and more disappointed.
Girls prefer boys who treat themselves sincerely. Maybe they sometimes act too "straight men" and are obviously a little clumsy, but compared to those boys who are proficient in using skills and routines, such boys will make girls feel more secure.
3. Good love is to make both of you better.
Those who have become "spare tires" and "limb dogs" in their relationship have forgotten that good love will definitely make you better.Keeping yourself down to the dust in exchange for girls to look at you more can only satisfy their low-level desires. Such a relationship is not worth it.
Similarly, when you pursue girls, you must also think clearly about what you can give to girls? What can girls get when they are with you? Can you make her a better self in love?
Think about these questions clearly, so that you can have a more accurate understanding of yourself, and you will also be more clear about what kind of girl you should choose and how to get along with each other.
In fact, after all, our pursuit of love is not just to satisfy our desires, but to understand ourselves better in the process of loving others and being loved by others, and to grow from it. This is the greatest meaning of love.
So when you get along with girls, you are more sincere and use less routines. It is not only respect for the other person and love, but also the greatest respect for yourself.
I believe that every sincere person can get the love they want!
