Transnational marriage always faces many problems, especially from China to Africa. Different races, different skin colors, different living customs and eating habits always make many people afraid.
But all difficulties are in the face of love, and it seems that they are not there. There are always people who are willing to contribute to love and marry into Africa regardless of everything for love. So what is the ending?
Today we will take a look at the life of a Chinese female college student after marrying into Africa. It may give you a different understanding of marrying from Africa.
1. Marry far away for love for Africa
985, the young girl Jin Baoli (pseudonym) ended her 12 years of hard study and was admitted to a university in Nanjing.
At that time, the university she studied introduced a group of international students from Gabon, Africa, to study in China. Jin Baoli knew about this, but she never thought about what this matter had to do with her, and she never thought that the school’s talent introduction work would indirectly change her life.
In school life, Jin Baoli accidentally made friends with one of the international students of Gabonese . The other party fell in love with Jin Baoli at first sight and pursued her fiercely.
At the beginning, Jin Baoli refused. After all, falling in love with Africans was a problem she had never thought about.
But he couldn't withstand the other party's strong attack. Gradually, Jin Baoli also began to be attracted by him, and the two fell in love.
We often say that people in love have an IQ of 0, and Jin Baoli, who is addicted to sweet love, is inevitably clichéd.
After falling in love, she lives a happy life with her boyfriend's careful care every day. She feels that such a life is worth living for the rest of her life.
As time goes by, both of them face the real problem of separation.
A boyfriend must return to Gabon after graduation. If Jin Baoli stays in China, the two can only have a foreign relationship. My boyfriend cannot come to China, and this exotic love is destined to have no end.
So her boyfriend proposed to let Jin Baoli marry her and go to Gabon to live with her.
At the beginning, Jin Baoli hesitated when thinking about her elderly parents' pain of parting with her parents.
But in the end she couldn't stand the other party's sweet words, she decided to marry her boyfriend and go to Gabon together.
You should know that in China in the 1980s, if you marry a foreigner or marry into Africa, under normal circumstances, Chinese parents cannot accept it no matter what.
Jin Baoli's parents are naturally the same. When they learned that their daughter had made this decision, they firmly disagree and would never allow their daughter to marry into Africa.
On the one hand, my daughter married from another country and couldn't meet her several times a year, or even once a few years. Her parents couldn't bear to leave her.
On the other hand, everyone knows that most places in Africa are relatively poor and backward, with men superior to women and women inferior, and women have low status. A man can marry many wives.
As parents, they are naturally worried that their daughter will suffer after marrying her, and there are no relatives there. After being wronged, it is beyond the reach of helping her.
, including Jin Baoli’s friends, are all advising her to give up this idea.
Jin Baoli saw her parents around her, and her relatives and friends opposed her marriage to Africa, and she began to feel nervous.
At this time, the TV specifically reported that Africa was famine. She was very scared and shook her determination to go to Africa.
Jin Baoli's boyfriend repeatedly promised to love her forever, and at the same time said that his country's status as a woman is very high, unlike everyone's legend, and he will not cause famine.
The woman in love always believes in her boyfriend's words, but in the end she decided to follow her boyfriend to Gabon.
She began to fight for love, regardless of it, just follow her boyfriend to Africa. In her heart, this is struggling, this is the purest and true love.
I feel sorry for my daughter's parents. Seeing that her daughter is so determined, she continues to object, for fear that her daughter will cause something, so she can only choose to compromise.
Even though I feel reluctant to leave, I can only send my daughter to a flight to Africa with tears in my heart, praying in my heart that my daughter can live a happy life as she imagined.
2. After marriage, one person worked to support the whole family
Although he had made enough psychological preparations and knew that Africa was poor and not as good as China, when Jinbaoli really set foot on the land of Gabon, he realized that he had not made enough psychological preparations.
The hot weather, the simple living conditions, and the completely different, simple and tasteless diet from the country made her a little difficult to accept, but since they are all here, they can only face everything.
Jin Baoli feels that she is full of love. As long as her boyfriend loves her deeply, everything is worth it. As for living habits, you can slowly adapt to it.
Arrived in Gabon, and Jinbaoli received the marriage certificate with her boyfriend as soon as possible, and officially became a family. Fortunately, the husband did, as he said, there were no other women in Gabon, and Jinbaoli was his only wife.
But Jin Baoli never expected that as soon as she entered her husband's house, her mother-in-law gave her a warning.
The husband did not cheat Jin Baoli at all. He has a very high status in their family, and he even stands at the top of family power and is the authority of the family.
But this authority only belongs to one person, that is, her husband's sister, that is, Jin Baoli's little girl.
On the first day after entering the door, the African mother-in-law said to Jin Baoli: "Your sister, you have to be careful. You have to treat her kindly, because she is the elder of everyone in the family."
Only after listening to this "advice" by Jin Baoli, Jin Baoli realized that the woman her husband said was high in status, and that was just his sister, and did not include Jin Baoli.
Jin Baoli realized later that her status in her husband was similar to a servant.
After marriage, although Jin Baoli could speak a little French, she was not proficient. Although she had a high degree from a university in China, it was extremely difficult to find a job in a country like Gabon, which is not well developed in all walks of life.
The husband told her that the woman had a high status and was obviously not applicable in the workplace in Gabon. Jin Baoli failed to find a job for a year and was like a slutty every day.
This is somewhat unacceptable to Jin Baoli, who has just graduated from college and is full of fantasy for the future.
What is even more terrifying is that my husband’s family, relatives, friends and even people around me. No one cares about whether he can find a job. Everyone lives a day of being a monk and a day of bells, as long as there is food.
If there is no food at home, they will go to other people's house to go to some, or pick something on the mountain to make some food, as long as they don't starve to death.
What you eat in Africa is very simple. As long as you can eat it, there is no taste, combination or method at all.
The husband who once performed positive and upbeat in China began to show his true face of being lazy when he returned to his territory. His husband was completely unwilling to find a job and lived with his family every day.
Because he couldn't find a job for the time being, Jin Baoli had to live such a poor life at home with her husband, relying on some savings brought from China to maintain a basic life.
Domestic parents often call Jin Baoli and ask how her daughter lives in Africa?
In order not to worry about parents, Jin Baoli always held back her tears and told her parents that she was doing well in Africa.
A year later, Jin Baoli's son was born. If one more baby at home, it would naturally cost a lot more money, and Jin Baoli's savings were almost used up.
In order to save expenses, Jin Baoli was reluctant to feed her son a good milk powder, but her husband seemed to be indifferent to all this and had no idea of starting to struggle because of her son's birth.
Jin Baoli advised her husband several times, wanting him to go out to find a job, not to be so decadent, but was rejected.
Even the two of them had a quarrel several times because of this. At this time, her husband began to reveal his hidden bad temper. He was no longer as romantic and warm as he had when he pursued Jin Baoli.
At this time, Jin Baoli remembered the persuasion of her parents and friends to her, "If you don't listen to the old man, you will suffer a loss in front of you." Looking at her son who was hungry in her arms, Jin Baoli felt mixed feelings.
The path I chose is no longer a turnaround to go, so I can only keep going.
For Jin Baoli, who is motivated, she cannot bear to live like her husband.
She couldn't accept this kind of life without the last meal. In order to give her son a better life, Jin Baoli knew that her husband was no longer reliable and could only rely on herself to change the status quo.
Although she had hit a wall after looking for a job many times before, she never gave up. After giving birth to a son, she devoted herself to finding a job.
Jin Baoli leaves home early every day, checking on the street if there is any latest recruitment notice posted. When she sees the company, she will take the initiative to go in and ask the other party whether to recruit people. She even goes in and asks the other party whether to recruit workers on the roadside restaurant.
But every time I go in with hope and come out with disappointment.
But the sentence "hard work pays off". One day, Jin Baoli met a Chinese boss. After the other party learned about her situation, she provided her with a job. In this way, Jin Baoli finally had a source of income in Gabon, and she no longer had to worry about being idle.
This was originally a happy thing, but she didn't expect that something that made her even more angry would follow.
After learning that his wife had found a job, not only did she not arouse her husband's desire to be ambitious, but her husband had a more reason to not go out to work.
My mother-in-law, sister-in-law and everyone in the family have all started to live on Jin Baoli's salary, and Jin Baoli has become a money-making tool at home.
Only then did Jin Baoli really start to regret her initial decision, regretting that she did not listen to her parents and lived such a bad life.
But the children have been born, and it is useless for her to regret it.
At this time, Jin Baoli comforted herself that as long as she worked hard, she would make her life better and better.
A young woman who originally wanted to live a good life with her husband, but she became a "pillar" to support her husband's family in a foreign country. It feels a bit sad to think about it.
If Jin Baoli is more concerned about her in-laws because she makes money, she may feel better.
But in fact, it seems natural for her to work to support her family to earn money, and she should do it. No one expressed any gratitude for her efforts. Instead, she thought she made too little.
The salary is paid one day late, and the mother-in-law will ask her where the money is. If the family has no money to spend, it is Jin Baoli’s fault, because Jin Baoli is lazy.
Faced with such a life, Jin Baoli was angry, but looking at her young son, she had to endure it, and this endurance lasted for 8 years.
htmlFor 18 years, the husband and his family have been absorbed on Jin Baoli like blood sucking insects. No one cares whether she will suck her dry, nor do anyone cares whether she will be exhausted due to the hard work.
3. After the dispute with my sister-in-law, she decided to leave home
years after she went to Gabon, her son has grown up and Jin Baoli speaks French very fluently.
In the past 8 years, because of her sister-in-law's special status at home, Jin Baoli had to give in to her in everything, and she couldn't even talk back even if her sister-in-law made things difficult for her.
All the personal belongings of Jinbaoli, whether expensive or cheap, as long as the sister-in-law likes her, she will take them away at will. Jinbaoli cannot have any objection because her sister-in-law is an "elder".
Jin Baoli worked overtime home that day and fell asleep in the room when she was too tired.
Suddenly my sister-in-law broke into her room without knocking on the door and began to rummage through the boxes and cabinets to find Jin Baoli’s things.
Jin Baoli was woken up and asked her sister-in-law what she was looking for. The sister-in-law said she had no money and came to find some money to use it, looking for it as if she was natural.
The little girl used as an ATM for so many years, Jin Baoli's repressed emotions erupted at this moment, and she had a big fight with her sister-in-law, and the two of them started fighting later.
For this sister-in-law's family with the highest status, Jin Baoli's behavior naturally aroused the family's dissatisfaction.
Faced with the accusations of other people in the family, she felt very aggrieved, but she still felt that her husband should be considerate of herself, stand on her own side, and give herself some comfort, and the matter was over.
But unexpectedly, what my husband said after knowing this matter directly wiped out Jin Baoli's last hope for this family.
The husband said to Jin Baoli: "My sister is still my sister. I can't just want my sister. She will do whatever she wants. I don't have the right to take care of her."
The husband also blamed Jin Baoli for being too strong and unreasonable, and did not know how to give in to her sister.
At this time, Jin Baoli truly understood that in her husband's eyes, she was always an outsider, and the anger and grievances accumulated over the past 8 years rushed towards her husband at this moment.
Jin Baoli firmly filed for divorce and took her son away. She didn't dare to let her son live with a useless husband, for fear that her son would become a useless man like her husband in the future.
The moment she left her husband's door, Jin Baoli truly felt relaxed and free. At this moment, she had been waiting for 8 years.
4. I was not used to returning to China, and returned to Africa.
Since she has divorced and Gabon has no other relatives, Jin Baoli naturally has no reason to stay in Africa. She took her son back to her long-lost home and returned to her parents.
At this time, the parents knew what kind of life their daughter lived in Africa. After hearing this, the two old people were crying and felt sorry for their daughter's miserable life for the past 8 years.
After returning to China, Jin Baoli thought she could live in China with her son with peace of mind, but in that era, a young woman with a black son would always attract strange eyes from others.
In addition, you can always hear neighbors talking about their own and their son's words, and the words are always full of ridicule and contempt.
After all, Jin Baoli had to marry into Africa despite her parents' persuasion, which has become the center of discussion among many local people after dinner.
is now divorced, and comes back with his black son, and has once again become the focus of people's discussion, mostly not good words.
Although my son, who is not very proficient in Chinese, doesn't understand what everyone is saying, he always feels that as soon as he goes out, many people look at him and feel uneasy. He asks Jin Baoli why everyone is staring at him?
Jin Baoli didn't dare to tell her son the truth, for fear of having a bad psychological impact on the child, so she had to tell her son that everyone was staring at him because he was handsome.
In addition, Jin Baoli was still young at this time, and her parents hoped that she could rebuild a new family.
But for Jin Baoli, if she divorces a Chinese, it is OK to marry another Chinese. But she divorced an African, and it is impossible to marry a Chinese again, and no Chinese man is willing to accept her.
comprehensive considerations, and in order to allow the son to grow up healthily in a relatively peaceful environment and not to become an alien in the eyes of others, Jin Baoli finally returned to Gabon with her son.
5. New life
. Jinbaoli, who returned to Gabon, quickly found a job in a French restaurant with fluent French and Chinese, coupled with previous work experience.
It is not easy for a single mother to raise her children. In order to create better living conditions for her son and cherish this hard-won job, Jin Baoli has worked hard to work hard.
Because of this, she quickly gained the attention of the French boss and gradually became the director of the restaurant, getting a high salary.
Career gains, and new love comes inadvertently.
Because of work, Jin Baoli met a French man. The other party fell in love with her at first sight. She didn't mind that she had married an African, nor did she care that she had a black son, and even had a good relationship with Jin Baoli's black son.
In this way, Jin Baoli met the true emperor of life. The other party also bought a sea view house for Jin Baoli. The family of three, people of different skin colors, lived happily together.
Jinbaoli is unfortunate and lucky.
Unfortunately, I met an irresponsible husband, a family like a blood sucking worm, and luckily, I finally met a man who cherished her, which is a blessing in disguise.
Exotic marriages are always full of risks. After all, since childhood, they grew up in completely different countries, and their world outlook and values will be very different. Whether they can be well-matched is a very sad test.
If you can’t get through this level, many couples will become separated.
What's more, we are always filled with the impression of Africa being poor, backward and polygamous. The bad habits of various backward African tribes persecuting women are creepy.
plus there are many rumors about Africans being lazy. Don’t say whether the rumors are true or false, or generalize from a partial perspective. However, under this impression, many people cannot accept that a Chinese woman marrying an African man.
No matter what your opinion is, everyone has to be responsible for the choices they make. If a marriage is in a lifetime, a mistake will affect your life.
I hope that all people facing transnational marriages, especially those who marry into relatively poor countries, can be cautious and cautious.
What do you think of Chinese women marrying African men? Support or objection? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area.
