One night stand (one night stand), everyone knows what it is, two people stand all night and then leave.
Anyway, I understand everything, so I don’t need to explain.
I heard that one-night stands originated from beautiful countries, and this is one of their great inventions. Of course, in our country, because the communication between people is relatively restrained, a one-night stand may become YP, which means to make an appointment to blow the cannon.
But no matter what form it is, this kind of sex is a kind of "random sexual behavior", which is different from the continuous and fixed sexual behavior with a partner or spouse.
may be due to the current pressure of work and the fast pace of life, more and more people choose to meet by chance rather than long-term relationships. After all, serious relationships require a lot of time and dedication, but one-night stands require little commitment.
That being said, men and women look at this kind of thing in very different ways, and are not what we think.
Men and women’s perception of one-night stands
It’s no secret that society views men and women’s sexual behaviors in a completely different light. This has both physiological and psychological reasons.
In the context of adult monogamous relationships, it is one thing to accept premarital sex in society, and it is another to support and encourage sleeping with others around for the pleasure of it.
But it is obvious that men will have less "psychological burden" in this regard than women.
Norwegian Once conducted a survey in which researchers surveyed 263 Norwegian students who were open to "sexual freedom" were between the ages of 19 and 37 and had experienced an accidental sexual encounter.
The results found that 35% of women tend to feel guilty about one-night stands, while only 20% of men.
In addition, according to the British " Daily Mail ", 60% of these men were annoyed by their decision to reject their most recent casual sex. Only 30% of women said they were satisfied with the recent one-night stand, but more than half of men were satisfied with it.
domestic data are as follows.
Researchers believe that one of the reasons for this difference may be evolution and different attitudes toward sex.
Researchers point out that in theory, men can have thousands of children. This has been used in the past to increase the chances of having children, which in turn emphasizes quantity rather than quality.
But for women, having a child has made them feel heavy, let alone let go of themselves and let themselves have more children.
So in women's psychology, they will naturally feel a "insecurity" for "random sexual behavior", thus causing resistance.
After all, women need to connect with men and need to feel safe, loved and committed, which is crucial for her to feel safe enough and to relax her vigilance when it comes to sexual intercourse. That's why she was upset about the one-night stand. Her body won't cooperate.
In addition to this, women do not tend to have one-night stands, which may be because women do not reach orgasm as frequently as men.
In fact, men have a much higher orgasm in sexual behavior than women. Men can satisfy themselves through one-night stands, but for women, the attractiveness of their satisfaction is far less than that.
This is also why men, not women, are the people who benefit the most from casual sex.
Meanwhile, nearly 80% of women are happy that they rejected previous opportunities for casual sex. But only 40% of men think that they gave up on the opportunity was the right decision.
So when it comes to sexual unpromising, women are playing a game they can't win, feeling "used" or like "men's trophy", and for most men, that's not the case.
So how can girls reverse this "win-loss relationship"? It’s very simple, two methods:
1, use love;
2, use money;
When a girl passes the examination and feels that the current man is worthy of custody for life, although she is also "betting", there is still a certain winning rate. In this case, she is naturally willing to have sex with the other party.
If there is no love, then letting the other party use money to purchase "sexual services" also exist in this world. Of course, there will be many forms, such as maintenance, YP, etc., which can minimize the risk of loss.
The psychological evolution of a man experiencing a one-night stand
When a man experiences a one-night stand, his psychology will have four stages:
Stage 1: Expected
Men will often look forward to a one-night stand. When watching Douyin and seeing beautiful ladies, they all yearn for the other party to have in-depth contact with them.
When a real one-night stand starts to happen, the mood will change from calm expectation to nervous excitement, just like a puppy drooling and panting when running.
Stage 2: Fear
Once the action begins, fear will appear, mainly because we will not have any benefits in bed.
However, once this fear begins, it is eliminated. After all, "A moment of spring night is worth a thousand gold", why are you hesitating?
Of course, we still have to be afraid of things, such as pregnancy or STD, so a responsible person always uses condoms - if not, he or she has to go downstairs to buy them at a convenience store.
Stage 3: Shame
Usually within a few seconds after orgasm, there will be some sense of shame that comes with it. Probably not many, depending on the situation.
If the entire experience lasts less than a minute, men will feel a little ashamed (a good sex life should last at least 2 minutes or more).
If they are at home, they will also be ashamed of having hello kitty sheets on their bed. If the hotel is too bad, they will also be ashamed of the quality of the hotel.
It is important to point out that men rarely feel ashamed of the woman they have slept with unless they are actually related to her.
Phase 4: Bragging
After the one-night stand is over, usually a few days later, men usually enter bragging mode directly.
convince women to sleep with us is of course a reason to be overly proud, so men will talk to friends, brothers, and Internet forums.
men are great revisionist people, and in their retelling, sex will become the greatest sex ever. When I was working in Hong Kong, a friend once claimed that he gave a woman a very strong orgasm, and that the person in the next room called the hotel to complain.
Since he is the only one "party involved", no one can refute it, just listen to it as a story.
Ultimately, people will believe that their perception of events is actually what happened. At this point, they will look for the next one-night stand, the cycle starts again, and to the most week, with only more shame and less orgasm.
has lost the stimulation of the past.
Why look for a one-night stand?
Not everyone pursues one-night stands or YP, but there are usually some specific psychology that guides people to desire this casual sex.
, like, eager to try new things.
Generally speaking, men tend to try new things than women when they are dating sexual partners. As Hong Kong 月彩新方新方新方新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新新�
So men will constantly desire to try all kinds of new things, including contact with different girls. Of course, girls you come into contact with also need to have "physical attraction".
Countless surveys show that both men and women believe that appearance and chemistry in one-night stands are important. With no emotional or condition attached, it's all about the physical attraction between casual partners.
After all, one-night stands can satisfy sexual needs, so physical connection is important.
Secondly, it is the lonely mentality.
sex seems to be a quick solution to loneliness. It’s not that we feel recognized when we have sex, but it’s nice to know we’re attractive.
Although the physical and mental intimacy is fleeting, it is beautiful at this moment. Unfortunately, your loneliness will intensify when that person leaves your life.
In addition to this, there is also a mentality of eagerness to take risks.
When a person is unwilling to be ordinary and wants to make his life more colorful, he will naturally choose to take risks. Sex seems to be a safer adventure. While getting stimulation, he will not face the danger of his life.
But no matter what the reason is, random sex is dangerous.
Clinical psychologist and bestselling author Jordan Peterson once said:
Sex is incredibly complex, which is very dangerous! It involves emotions, it involves pregnancy, it involves disease, it involves betrayal. It goes all the way to someone's roots. You don't want to play with something like this. Well, even if you want it, you will pay for it.
So, no matter what kind of casual sex it is, it is best not to let yourself "play with fire and burn yourself".
