Are there anyone around you who are "particularly good at chatting"?
often has two characteristics in this type of person.
First: They are confident and profound
Chat with them, you can feel that your understanding is broken again and again and again and again, and your knowledge is enriched again and again; the topics they throw out will bring you a bright feeling.
Moreover, their confidence makes you feel comfortable and you feel your mood is also affected.
"Listen to your words is better than reading for ten years."
They are very knowledgeable and do not make people feel like they are showing off, but there is a kind of background between the lines.
This is the temperament and confidence accumulated over time by experience, knowledge, knowledge reserves, and books you have read.
Second: They have high emotional intelligence
The high emotional intelligence is not only reflected in: they can catch any topic you throw out, but also make you feel very comfortable.
will not be in a cold situation or conflict. Even if there are differences in concepts, he will not argue with you directly.
has a choice and knowing how to advance and retreat is their chat skills.
In social networking, how can chat make you a "popular" person?
-01
Don’t criticize, sarcastically, mock the other party
From a psychological perspective:
When we chat with someone, we make us particularly uncomfortable, feel pressure, feel mocked, despised, and ignored; then in the next process of getting along, we will deliberately distance ourselves from these people.
This is the "distance effect".
People's subconscious will stay away from those people or things that make us feel the crisis.
For example:
You are walking on the road and a ball comes to you.
At this time, you have 3 choices.
Stand still, you will be hit by the ball;
Lift your arm to block the ball, your arm may not be able to withstand the strength and damage of the ball flying;
quickly dodge and protect yourself.
"escape effect" is a self-protection instruction issued by people subconsciously.
So, to make yourself more popular in social interaction, you need to do:
Avoid criticizing the other party directly, avoid sarcasm and ridicule the other party.
What abilities do you need to have to do this?
Think from the perspective of others:
can stand in the other person's situation and consider his emotions; feel first, and then take care of the other person's emotions.
Restrain yourself:
Not every chat or conflict requires us to "tit-for-tat".
Sometimes choosing to avoid it will stop the conflict between you in time.
Enough skills for respect and criticism:
There is a "sandwich effect" in social psychology.
In a crowded environment, if you want to criticize a person, you can adopt the sandwich effect to maintain your relationship.
First express your praise, then show your dissatisfaction, and finally give expectations.
"Although you have done a good job, you still made many mistakes in this matter. I think you could have done better, right?" This is even more true in
intimate relationships.
Learning the sandwich effect can not only make you express your dissatisfaction, but also make your partner accept it better.
"You are too stupid"
"I think you can do better"
Which sentences can you accept more?
-02
Be a qualified "listener"
In social networking, the more popular one is not the expressor, but the listener.How to become a qualified listener?
1. During the communication process, give the other party more recognition
Everyone desires recognition, which will enhance a person's sense of self-esteem and will allow a person to gain confidence from communication.
For example:
When communicating face to face, you can look at the other party, which will make the other party feel your sincerity;
The body can face the other party and nod from time to time to express your approval.
For online chat, you can use: "It's true" and "I think you're right".
When a couple gets along, if your partner complains and complains to you, what you need to do is stand on the same front as him, not comfort him.
Effective comfort:
"Yes, it's too much"
"I understand your feelings too much"
"You really don't have a good time"
Ineffective comfort:
"It doesn't matter, don't be angry"
"It's no big deal"
"Don't take it to heart"
understand all the principles, but he doesn't need it; he just needs you to agree with him and agree with him.
comforting is not suitable in this state.
2. Give the other party emotional value
When you send a message to the other party, do you also desire to get the other party's care?
Do you want the other party to reply to your message in seconds?
Do you hope the other party can understand the meaning of your words?
and other emotions are all emotional values.
Therefore, communication in social or emotional needs should also provide sufficient emotional value to the other party.
If you want to provide the right emotional value, you must understand what the other party is missing.
When he is sad, he needs companionship and care;
When he is angry, he needs calmness and teammates;
When he is disappointed, he needs surprise and encouragement.
can only provide the right emotions.
If what you give is not what the other party wants, it is not conducive to your relationship.
The other party likes to eat apples, but you buy him annoying oranges, which is "ineffective giving".
The process of giving itself is meaningless; the effort is meaningful only if the effort is received corresponding feedback.
Today's topic:
What kind of people do you chat with to make you feel happy?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
