Keywords: Fascinated by a person who has given me warmth and hurt my husband
This question is the third answer. If you understand the previous situation, you can read it: 
Answer: The above story contains a complete set of things, the past, present and the handling of this matter itself.
And this is indeed not a simple question of "I really want to save it".
The heroine used to be with me during my live broadcast. We also analyzed it from a probability point of view - if the heroine finds another partner with her husband, it is actually more difficult.
But whether this can enter her world, and whether she can really think so is the heroine's personal affairs.
Because the heroine has many conflicts inside, she also feels a lot of grievances in this relationship, or she is not so willing to invest in this relationship.
The heroine can divide this matter into two levels:
First, sort out.
is sorted out in two parts.
First of all, no matter whether the two parties want to divorce or not, they must reach a consensus on how to face the things that happened in the past.
For example, how to face this big stone that occurs in each other's relationship and how to define it is a sorting out past events. After processing this part of
, then think about whether this relationship is what you really want.
These are two things, don’t confuse them, because it will be particularly difficult to make a decision when mixed together.
Remember, you must go in two steps, otherwise many emotions will be entangled. For example, if you are not satisfied with your husband, it will affect your current situation and completely deal with the past.
In addition, don’t worry about the other party first, because the other party’s view on this matter is based on the heroine’s previous set of narratives and attitudes.
To put it bluntly, the heroine has not handled the relationship well.
If you push back, the heroine will still be worried about the past.
cannot let go because the heroine has not figured it out and has not completely withdrawn from it.
The heroine did not sort out and say goodbye to things well, which was the most unacceptable thing for her husband.
We can give it backwards. The heroine and her former blind date partner complex is like a snowball. If the heroine doesn't handle it well, it will affect her husband and then affect how the relationship develops later.
So, find the complex that I couldn’t let go in the past? This is a homework and a challenge.
Second, story.
Based on the heroine is a person who particularly likes to interpret stories. I want to give the heroine a keyword - "story".
The heroine can interpret many stories from her own experiences, such as being hugged by a boy, she may even think about what the child is called; for example, what her husband has already identified.
But this is actually not true for me, this is just a story that the heroine came up with.
It’s like after I interrupted her, she might think to herself:
“Teacher Leng Ai interrupted me without saying anything today. He didn’t pay so much attention to me at all. I actually took a class with such a person. I read his official account for so many years. I originally thought he was really good, but I didn’t expect it to be my wishful thinking in the past. I think he is a good person, but today I found out that he is very cold. Why is my life so miserable?”
I will just interpret the heroine casually, which is also a set of stories.
The outside world is the projection result of the inner world.
The heroine likes to over-interpret it because she has a very strong sense of self.
The heroine can learn psychology , project overly strong consciousness on others, help others, and not spend it on yourself.
Many people want to engage in the psychological industry because they or the people around them have encountered misfortunes and have a strong desire to save them.
Note that the rescuer is also a very common complex .
The savior and the victim are often two sides, and the other side of all victims is the savior.
But these are not the essence, whether they are victims or saviors, they want to control others.
If you have the idea of saving others, you must be vigilant.
Because the real help is as it is, as it is.
Creative Team | Lengai Fang Guan Xixi
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