A few days ago, at a party, a friend who was doing online ride-hailing talked about something he had encountered recently.
It was past four o'clock in the morning that day, and before dawn, a friend received an uncle with his luggage from the train station.
His destination is strange, not at home, nor at the bus stop.
is a shopping mall.
My friend was embarrassed to ask more questions, but he still kindly reminded him that the mall would not open until 10 o'clock.
Unexpectedly, the few words that the uncle answered made people sad.
It turned out that he rushed back to attend the full moon banquet of his granddaughter. He was worried about his family's arrangements and specially bought the earliest tickets for the first class.
But he went home directly at around four o'clock. He was afraid that the sound of opening the door would disturb the children at home.
"My son was tired from work, and his daughter-in-law was tired from taking care of the baby."
so he went to the entrance of the mall first to sit down, because he had visited this mall many times and was very familiar with it.
After my friend finished talking about this, he felt a little moved:
"I discovered that when I was a child, we were afraid of our parents. Now we are older, our parents are a little afraid of us."
Friends at the same table smiled and lowered their heads without saying a word.
It’s a coincidence that Brother Pi recently watched a variety show called "Old Friends of Baichuan".
This program is a bit different.
1 invited five elderly people of similar age to let them stay together for three days and two nights, eat together, live together, and have fun together.
When the final program was about to end, a request from the program team made the elderly guests on the scene look at each other -
"Call your children and come to to attend the final party together. "
HD1According to common sense, this seems to be a very normal thing. Just make a call, and it is best to be your dearest relative. It is better to be able to come, but it is natural that you can't come.
But unexpectedly, the reaction of uncles and aunts in the show was far beyond expectations.
They are all very nervous.
may be because of the program or because of the camera, but Brother Pi feels that it doesn’t seem that simple.
The first person who is nervous is an uncle named Jiang Yingce.
Uncle’s hometown is in Harbin. He moved to Beijing to live for his son and has been in Beijing for 6 years.
When he heard that he was going to call his son, Uncle Jiang's expression changed immediately. The observer of the off-site Yi Lijing used a word to describe him, called: "Mu Ran".
Seeing the daughters of the other two female guests agree readily, Uncle Jiang's expression became very nervous, and there was a hint of embarrassment in his nervousness.
Yang Di When she was talking to the female guest's daughter, Uncle Jiang's hand unconsciously plucked the table.
We should be quite familiar with this kind of small action.
is like a student who made a mistake and was called to the office by the teacher. It is more like a social animal who asked for leave to ask the leader to sign, but was walking outside the leader's door and did not dare to push the door in for a long time.
Uncle Jiang is doing psychological construction.
Under the repeated requests of the host Yang Di, Uncle Jiang reluctantly picked up his phone and dialed his son's phone.
The phone rings, and even Yang Di could see that Uncle Jiang's expression had become very serious since the beginning.
was so nervous that he was sweating. mobile phone finally connected, and Uncle Jiang carefully sent an invitation to his son.
"Not working these days, Dad, I'm too busy."
For a moment, Uncle Jiang seemed to froze, motionless, recovered for a long time, and replied in a pretended calm tone: " is OK." All the guests in the scene in
can see Uncle Jiang’s disappointment.
He is the only one, immersed in the indifferent thing he pretended.
Although Uncle Jiang and his son live in Beijing, they can hardly meet their son. In 6 years, the number of times they meet can be counted with one hand.
This kind of loss makes people feel distressed.
Uncle Zhang is also nervous.
His name is Zhang Jianzhong, he is over 60 years old. After retirement, Uncle Zhang, , also followed his children to Beijing , but he only lived here for three or four years.
Before calling, Uncle Zhang kept giving Uncle Jiang an idea and analyzing the crux of the relationship between Uncle Jiang and his son.
But when he was calling, he couldn't sit still, and stood up from his seat and paced back and forth in the house.
Obviously, he is even more nervous than Uncle Jiang.
The phone number has not been connected, and Uncle Zhang has found a "stand" for himself.
"Busy", "Working", "You can't turn on your phone at work" ...
Uncle Zhang, who sat back on his seat, said four or five reasons in one breath.
But I just don’t want to make it clear that I was nervous when I was asked to call my children.
And this fear is like it is natural, from the inside out.
Both old people face the same problem.
Faced with their children, they want to speak but stop, and from the bottom of their hearts, they have deep fear.
This kind of fear is not that kind of physiological fear, but worrying about the disturbance of children, and worrying that they appear redundant .
is just like the reason Uncle Jiang found for his son-
"Busy in work, you have to be busy with objects."
The word "busy" summarizes all emotions and replaces all family affection.
But when facing the elderly of children, only by using this reason can you convince yourself.
In the observation room, Ni Ping said it well in one sentence: "This is not self-consciousness, it has reached a humble state."
Ni Ping observed this phenomenon very thoroughly.
She said that before the mother said three words on the phone, the children would perfunctorily say: "Okay, is there anything else?"
Such words are the signal words that end this chat.
Parents are particularly sensitive to this kind of words , and they will immediately say that they are fine and then quickly hung up the phone.
What you want to say will stop.
We all say "Old Kid" . In fact, people will become very sensitive when they are older.
Maybe it is because of the loneliness that children are away from, maybe it is because they have experienced the vicissitudes of the world, or maybe it is because after retirement, there is really nothing to do.
After being stabbed by accident, they will hide the deepest grievances in their hearts. No matter how strict or strong they were, after experiencing the erosion of years and their children leave, the fragility of will be "infinitely amplified".
Uncle Li Ming and Li, who did not call his daughter, were like this, and his fragility was "infinitely amplified". In the program
, I saw several aunts and children having fun, and Uncle Li was reflecting on his relationship with his daughter.
He said that since he was a child, had never respected his daughter and had not considered her feelings.
Uncle Li gave an example, saying that when his daughter was a child, she wanted to buy Suiting, which cost more than 2,900 yuan, which was already very expensive.
He asked his daughter what he bought for.
My daughter said she likes listening to music.
Uncle Li asked back, "You should spend so much money to listen to music when you are studying?"
Although he criticized him very harshly, after the criticism, Uncle Li would still buy it and listen to it for his daughter.
I think many of us have experienced this when we were young.
A very expensive toy. For parents with poor conditions at the time, it was actually very difficult to buy it. This difficulty would make them output their emotions to their children.
However, the more trembling children were to play back then, now parents call their children, they are as cautious as they are.
is age. When the communication barrier is enlarged, the elderly will often fall into this kind of self-doubt and break it up and break it up over and over again, pick out their shortcomings from it, and then reflect on themselves, although this itself is useless.
But for Uncle Li, although he has realized these problems, he still cannot open his mouth to his daughter and communicate these things.
Uncle Li lives alone. He celebrates the New Year alone for four consecutive years. His daughter never comes to him and spends the New Year with the elderly.
He wanted to make up for it, but he didn't know where to start. After all, it's very difficult to see his daughter now.
When I see others getting close to my children, Uncle Li can only envy him, and the rest is all guilt.
Facing the camera, Uncle Li's eyes were filled with tears and confessed affectionately. The love of an old father made Brother Pi unable to hold back for a moment, and tears flowed.
Rather than saying that this is a confession to his daughter, it is Uncle Li’s confession to himself.
But for an elderly parent, no matter what he has done, it is not easy to reflect on this.
Yi Lijing said that she could understand Uncle Li's daughter because there was a saying:
"A happy childhood can heal a lifetime, and an unfortunate childhood needs to heal a lifetime."
She stands from the perspective of her children and emphasizes the kind of pain brought by her parents' severity.
. Ni Ping said that there is another way, called "forgive" .
But fortunately, the program also let us see a particularly warm side -
Uncle Jiang's son, although he also has a estrangement from his father, he still gave his father the greatest face in the program.
He first wrote a long confession letter, and then suddenly showed up with his girlfriend to surprise his dad.
A sentence "When did you come here?" After , the father and son hugged each other tightly. This may be the first time in so many years that the father hugged his son for so long, so tight.
Uncle Jiang’s son is completely different from Uncle Li’s daughter.
In "Old Friends in Baichuan", Brother Pi learned a new term called "Old Migrant Clan".
means those elderly people who are lonely and wander in big cities with their children but cannot be taken care of.
and Aunt Chaoxia, after her daughter was admitted to Beijing to study, she also came to accompany her to study. She has been with her since she was a child and has devoted all her efforts to her daughter.
Zhang Jianzhong and Zhang, after retirement, came to Beijing with his son.
Although they all came to Beijing with their children, they met with their children at a very small number of times, let alone living together.
One thing Uncle Zhang said:
He said he had to send messages to friends every day. If he had not received the information for three days, he had to call to confirm whether the person was still there or not. Although this matter is a bit funny, it is a bit sad to think about it behind your back. For elderly people living alone, this is also a very realistic problem.
Imamura Changhei 's movie "The Examination of the Mountain Festival" directed by Kazuhiro Imamura, there is such a cruel plot:
Because of the extreme poverty of the village, the old man was over 70 years old and was sent to the back mountain to fend for himself.
Because he was a 70-year-old man, he could not work and could only waste food and money.
Of course, this is an extreme situation, but to reality, parents who have worked hard for us for half their lives should not be treated like this in their later years.
Since they were young, they could shelter us from the wind and rain, so they must not be older and act according to our expressions.
Speaking of Pi Ge, the two things that impressed the most are the two things.
One is about the host of " Strange Talk ", and the other is about a Palestinian old man.
Ma Dong's mother, like many elderly mothers, likes to watch TV and shop, and often spends a lot of money to buy some expensive and useless things.
Seeing her mother like this, Ma Dong never exposes her. Instead, he praises her mother for her high-mindedness and good things she buys.
Mother will be very excited.
Later, what Ma Dong said touched everyone.
He said that his father passed away for more than ten years, and his mother was very lonely alone and could only watch TV to buy things.
If even these happiness is deprived of, it will be too cruel for the elderly mother.
Another thing is that The new crown is severely severe Palestine, a 73-year-old grandmother was diagnosed and was isolated.
Because she could not enter the ward, her 30-year-old son would climb up to the high windowsill of the isolation ward every night to accompany her mother through the day and night.
But in just five days, my mother left.
For middle-aged people, the happiest thing in the world is to shout "Dad, Mom" when you go home.
Parents are there, life still has its origin. When parents go, life is only left.
Never want to, overestimate the emotions that parents want to see us, miss us, and want to be with us.
Although they are the same as children, they have sensitive and fragile thoughts, but unlike children, we would use crying to court when we were young, but they would only stay in our hearts.
does not disturb them, they are their tenderness.
The simple sentence "It's okay" contains countless "lie" that should have gushed out.
"988", Deshan 's father said it well:
"Dad, I am not a father since I was born, and it is also the first time my father has become a father."
Chinese-style parents always love their children humbly and greatly.
"Parents love their children, and then they have far-reaching plans for them" , But what if the children love their parents?
Say one more sentence, more Doing one thing, making a call for one more minute and going home again is an extremely huge surprise for every elderly parent.
When the huge back that once was in front of you, sheltering you from the wind and rain, gradually hunched over, I hope you can help them up and not let them fall down too early.
When they once carried you and took you around the world and went all the way, gradually slowed down, I hope you can stop your own steps and wait for them.
As children, never follow the trend and go around the trend, deliberately amplify the sorrow of childhood to whip your original family.
As children, never be stingy with your love.
After all, at this time you have wives and children, husbands, friends and brothers, and a young and strong body,
But they are the only ones.
Text/Pipi Movie Editorial Department: Essence
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