Western Han Dynasty Dai Sheng said in "Book of Rites·Qu Li 1": "Rites and reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming; it is not polite to come without coming without coming."
It seems that since the beginning of the birth of Chinese civilization, people's communication activities have been set tone-going around the world with courtesy, but it is difficult to move in an inch without courtesy.
If you give gifts out of gratitude or to make up for your debts, the intentions of the gift givers are mostly sincere and pure, which we generally call "gifts".
But in real life, most gifts are "giving to others, you must ask for something". They often try to exchange or seek something more valuable and practical to you by giving gifts. It is more appropriate to say that it is asking for something rather than giving gifts.
gift was given out. I felt distressed and worried that I would not get the result I wanted. All my plans were in vain. I could only masturbate with "I'm soft-hearted, I'm short-handed, and I'm taking all the things. Are you embarrassed to do my best to do my best?" I can't give out the gift and feel cowardly. I feel frustrated and lost when I am looked down upon, and I also blame myself for my incompetence when I can't do it.
Mostly, I hope to "repay favors". Giving gifts to officials is not so glorious. Mostly, I hope to use the scepter in the hands of the given person in a certain matter or in a certain period. To put it more bluntly, it is to use power indirectly. There is one word that speaks most thoroughly about this behavior: rent-seeking. Of course, we must boycott this kind of behavior clearly.
People who can give gifts can both seize the opportunity and grasp the psychology, and can always scratch the itchy part of the person being given. This is called "timely help". Although the effect of "icing on the cake" is slightly worse, it is at least related to the gift giving. Those who don’t know how to give gifts should simply not spend any effort or waste money, otherwise it will only have the consequences of "flattering the horse's legs".
Walking around appropriately will bring harmony to a certain extent and deepen friendship, but you must also distinguish the object. If the person who is given a gift wants to give people a timely help and add icing on the cake, it will be too greedy. When facing such a person, the wisest choice is to stop giving it away, otherwise don’t say that things can’t be done, and you will be swallowed up without any residue.
