Tong Zhi and Wen Li’s 50-year golden marriage, Tong Zhi cheated on his spirit for 20 years.
Wen Li's second half of her life was enduring with gritting her teeth. She loved Tong Zhi, who "had another woman lived in her heart". Without her persistence, this marriage might have ended long ago.
When I was young, I always felt that Tong Zhi was actually a good husband. He worked hard and was down-to-earth. He was spoiled by how Wen Li did the world. Even though he fell in love with Li Tianjiao later, he did not choose to divorce because of his responsibility and responsibility to his family.
When I was middle-aged, I realized that Tong Zhi was really a very selfish man. From the beginning to the end, what he cared about most was his own feelings. At the beginning, he was coaxing Wenli, but because he was newlywed, he enjoyed the beauty that Wenli's body brought him; he fell in love with Li Tianjiao but did not divorce, not because he was so responsible, but because he wanted to enjoy the nourishment of love that he didn't need to be responsible, but also wanted a free nanny who could take care of his children and his old mother.
He has never really loved Wenli. These five sentences he said are enough to see his scumbag nature and also enough to see his coldness towards Wenli.
01 Old man, just light the fire, you just need to pay a smile, don’t take it seriously!
When the mother-in-law came, she gave Wen Li all kinds of advice, and showed her face to face, and thought she was too lazy to do housework. She also deliberately talked about Tong Zhi's ex in front of her, and she was so diligent and virtuous that Tong Zhi's ex was, and every time Tong Zhi saw Wen Li asking for help, she hid as far as she could.
It is because Tong Zhi has been in a mixed relationship between the two, and based on the principle of not causing trouble, he lets the two women quarrel and fight each other, which makes the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law become more and more fierce.
Wenli knew that Tong Zhi was a filial son, and most of the time she didn't dare to talk back to Tong's mother. She told Tong Zhi, but Tong Zhi said , "Old man, light the fire, you'll finish your smile, don't take it seriously." sent her.
When they were about to take Tong's mother-in-law over, Dazhuang advised Tong Zhi not to join the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law:
You and your wife are in a good relationship now. When your mother comes, what's the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? Those two old women are getting kowtow. Can you greet him? If you want to be filial to your mother, you might as well send more money to your mother and hire a nanny.
Wen Li knew Tong Zhi’s thoughts and took the initiative to ask her to pick up her mother-in-law. Her wife was so understanding and willing to suffer her mother-in-law’s grievance for him. However, Tong Zhi never helped her in the issue of mother-in-law’s daughter-in-law. She let Wen Li be isolated and helpless, enduring all kinds of picky criticism from her mother-in-law.
Marriage Pope John Gotman summarizes the way to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: The only way to get out of this predicament is that the husband wants to join his wife against his mother, although this may sound a little harsh. He and his wife are going to build their own family rituals, values and lifestyles and insist on his parents respecting them.
In the eyes of husbands, their mother is the closest person. When the mother and his wife have conflicts, they cannot bear to let their mother feel sad and sad, so they will use moral kidnapping to make their wife compromise: There are no bad parents in the world, if you love me, you must tolerate your mother.
This is the reason why many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law's conflicts are becoming more and more intense. Many husbands do not know that the most critical point in resolving the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lies in the husband, because he is not only the closest person to the mother-in-law, but also the closest person to the wife. Only when he maintains the balance between the two can the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law become harmonious.
02 That kind of thing should be done by women at all. You say that having children is a woman's talent. If you are not happy to have children, you have to pay the price.
Wenli fainted from ecstasy when she was pregnant with her dick. She went to the hospital for caesarean section and rescue. After that, she had a direct psychological shadow on giving birth. After giving birth, she asked Tong Zhi to to ligate .
Tong Zhi was immediately furious after hearing this:
That kind of thing should be done by a woman at all. You say that having children is a woman's talent. If you are not happy to have children, you have to pay the price.
The sentence "natural" and "pay the price" made me feel chilled when I saw it.
ligation is originally related to two people's affairs. Where does it come from? As a husband, you can't just think about climbing into the bed, but only let your wife bear the consequences.
Tong Zhi blurted out the sentence, just to show his inner selfishness. in his heart, it doesn’t matter whether Wenli is pregnant or not. Anyway, whether she is born or she is she, Wenli herself, who is suffering and suffering. Who told her not to ligate? Who told her not to have children? This is what she deserves, the price she deserves. As for him, he will not get pregnant anyway, and he will not suffer. Why should he ligate?
He said his selfishness so well and righteously.
Before watching TV shows, I always felt that before meeting Li Tianjiao, Tong Zhi had loved Wenli. After reading what he said in the original work, I found that Tong Zhi had always loved him, and his heart had never really loved Wenli.
He just fell in love with her young and beautiful face, her cultural knowledge, and her very different conditions from the factory girl. During the shelf life, he willingly held her and pampered her. Once this freshness passes, he will no longer tolerate her and pamper her like before.
03 I don’t want to see you with this vicious face for a day. You are so vicious. Before getting married, Tong Zhi vowed Wen Li and wrote a guarantee letter specifically for this, “ guarantees that he will only love Comrade Wen Li for the rest of his life, and he will rush to do the dirty and tiring work at home.”
For his promise, Wen Li devoted her whole life to him, from a daughter who is not touched by the years to a good wife who is a child and an elderly man's housework, perfectly interpreting the role of a girl to a virtuous wife.
When she learned that Tong Zhi " did not touch Li Tianjiao's people, but touched her heart ", Wen Li completely collapsed. She worked diligently to manage this family, served his sick mother and took care of his four children, but he was outside, and even said ill words to her, " I don't want to see you with such a vicious face for a day, you are so vicious."
He forgot who took over his responsibilities and took care of his sick mother day and night, who carried the whole life and raised four children, Wen Li and she supported the whole family, so he had leisure time to drink coffee with Li Tianjiao and talk about the romantic relationship with other women.
She only mentioned the name "Li Tianjiao", but it became the viciousness in his mouth. This is the most viciousness towards Wen Li. This is the heart of killing Wenli, the people who deny her, all their past love, and all her efforts.
A cheating man becomes more ruthless than you think. When you love you, you think you are good at everything. Even if you act like heaven and earth, you are pretentious, he will still think you are cute; when he doesn't love you, ask him where to go? He will think that you are too careless and annoying. He will deny everything about you, make you useless, and even feel disgusting when you look at you.
04 My relationship with this girl is not a vulgar relationship between men and women. She and I just listen to music to talk about relationships. If we move forward, it won’t work!
After Li Tianjiao went abroad, Tong Zhi was depressed and extremely lost. He told Dazhuang:
She also knows, I also knows that if she doesn’t leave, we are just like this. We can’t move forward. Even if my mother doesn’t have any trouble, we can’t. My relationship with this girl is not that kind. Ah, a vulgar relationship between men and women. How can I say it with her? Listen to music and talk about emotions, it’s great, but if we move forward, I really can’t! No!
How shameful. Even though he knew that he had a family and children, he knew that he could not divorce. Otherwise, who would care about his mother and what should he do with the four children, but he calmly accepted the "spiritual love" with Li Tianjiao because it did not require responsibility.
Li Tianjiao was voluntary. She didn't care whether he would divorce. As long as he loved her in his heart, she would be content. In this way, I can enjoy the nourishment of love, and someone helped him take care of his backyard and take care of his mother and children. He killed two birds with one stone. Why not do it?
From beginning to end, Tong Zhi thought of his own feelings. He never thought about Wenli, whether she would be sad, collapse, and unable to survive.
Even Dazhuang knows ", you are loving someone. Wenli must know, how can you let her stand it? "
Tong Zhi can no longer care about what Wenli thinks, nor do you care if she is sad. He only has the only Li Tianjiao in his heart who " tearful eyes ask him if he loves her ". As long as he hasn't cheated on his body, what else can I do to sorry for Wenli!
05 Conclusion
Tong Zhi said: He has two women in his life, which is enough.
Wen Li spent her whole life loving him, even if he eventually betrayed this marriage, hurt her and bullied her, and in the more than ten years of cheating, he despised her, hated her, and attacked her with the most ruthless words. Every word and sentence was like a needle, and every sentence was cold and faint.
But Wen Li endured all this, endured his dislike, endured his betrayal, and finally endured this seemingly perfect golden marriage.
But the pain in her heart, the tears in her heart, the bloody scars in her heart all made me feel sad. Such a golden marriage: too painful and too painful!
