" Pride and Prejudice ", there is a saying that goes like this: "A marriage that only considers money is absurd, and a marriage that does not consider money is stupid."
Once upon a time, we all felt that talking about money hurts feelings, love is innocent, money is vulgar, and many people agree with the view that love is full of water, believing that as long as love is there, you can overcome everything and live a happy life.
However, real life tells us that love is not a necessity, money is. It is impossible to have a love of drinking water. The cruel reality is that poor couples are sad about everything. A good cook cannot cook without rice. No matter how powerful a cook is, it is impossible to make a delicious meal out of thin air. No matter how loving you are and you have no money, you have to worry about the next meal after eating.
People cannot live by their love, but also by their money. Love cannot turn into bread out of thin air, nor can it allow you to fill your stomach and solve your survival problems.
Talk about money may hurt feelings, just because money can test human nature. When your lover's eyes are revealed and you are blinded by love, you can talk about money appropriately, and you may be able to pour a basin of cold water on your face to wake you up in time.
As Tu Lei said in : "Money is not the only criterion for testing true love, but money can measure the depth of feelings."
Take the marriage AA system as an example. I guess most women cannot accept it because it is obviously unfair.
The reason why men mention AA system is simply because they think it is very hard to make money, and they don’t want their wife to spend their money with big hands and want to protect their own interests. People do not punish themselves for themselves, but the problem is that there is no absolute fairness in the world, and nothing can be simply distributed.
"The so-called marriage AA system means that as a wife, I want to have children for you, and I have to take care of the family and focus more on the family. At the same time, I have to support myself and bear half of the family support expenses, right! What about you? What can you do with children? Can you be pregnant for five months, or can you get half of the pain and sequelae of childbirth?"
Faced with the questioning of his wife Xiao Ya, Lin Xuan still did not realize his mistake, muttering that having children and doing housework is a woman's obligation, and accusing his wife of being unreasonable.
01. In order to deal with the urge to get married, I married a man who had known him for four months;
"If I had known his true face, even if my parents were urged to get married to death, I would not marry him. I really regret that in order to stop merging and fighting with my relatives and friends, I have been mercilessly married, not only cheating myself, but also cheating my child."
Xiao Ya was 26 years old when she got married. Strictly speaking, Xiao Ya is not an older leftover woman.
Xiao Ya is a girl with a strong career aspiration. It’s not that she doesn’t want to get married, but she wants to work hard first, make more money, and get married after she has the money capital. However, parents think traditionally that men should get married when they are old, and their daughter should get married when they are old. When they are in school, they are afraid of falling in love early, so they immediately start urging them to get married as soon as they graduate.
"That year, my mother pretended to be sick and tricked me back and asked me to participate in a blind date. At the beginning, I didn't do it, but my mother was going to die. She said that I was not getting married for a long time. People around her pointed fingers and thought that I had something wrong with her, which made her shameless to go out to see people. In desperation, I had to agree to a blind date. To be honest, I don't reject blind dates, thinking that this is just a way to find a partner."
When I was on a blind date, Xiao Ya met Lin Xuan, a boy with similar conditions as hers.
"In terms of income, I am about the same as him. He earns about 10,000 yuan more than me in a year! In terms of family conditions, it is also similar. We are all children of migrant workers, from the same place."
had been in contact with Lin Xuan for a while, and Xiao Ya felt good, and her parents urged her to get married more frequently. Lin Xuan also proposed to her many times. So, in the fourth month of her relationship, Xiao Ya married Lin Xuan.
02. In order to ease the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and husband-wife, I chose to have a child, but I didn't expect it and cheated myself.
"The consequence of a hasty marriage is that I didn't know him well, and I didn't have time to understand his family, especially his parents. I had known that his mother was not a good deal, but he was a person who obeyed his mother's orders, so I would never do it."
Xiao Ya never thought of living under the same roof with her in-laws, but after they bought a house, her in-laws moved in without saying a word, saying that she was living in for a short time, but there was no sign of leaving.
If the parents-in-law are easy to get along with and can help the best of their ability when the couple is busy, Xiao Ya will not want to drive away people. However, after the parents-in-law came, one was obsessed with playing cards and the other was obsessed with dancing. The house was in chaos and didn't know how to clean up. Xiao Ya, who had been tired for a day, came back to clean up, and often accused Xiao Ya of being lazy and not a good wife.
At the beginning, Xiao Ya put her hope on Lin Xuan, hoping that Lin Xuan could play the role of a lubricant and persuade her parents well, but if she really couldn't let her in-laws leave.
However, Lin Xuan not only did not persuade his parents-in-law, but instead stubbornly said that it was my mother. Be polite, don’t talk bad things about my parents, listen to my mother. My parents have the final say, which made Xiao Ya suffer a lot.
"Some time ago, my mother-in-law and I had a big fight with him, went back to my parents' home, and cried to my parents. However, my parents said that this was no big deal, and said that when a man became a father, he would mature. If my parents-in-law hugged his grandson, he would become kind and let me have a child sooner."
Xiao Ya also felt that maybe the child could become a lubricant for the family, let her husband take responsibility, and let her in-laws do something, so Xiao Ya became pregnant.
03. I lost my job because of pregnancy. His mother was worried that my son would suffer losses and instigated his son to mention AA. He chose to obey his mother's orders;
"I have been working in this company for 4 years, and have been diligent and conscientious. I have been working overtime forever. The boss also valued me very much. Unexpectedly, after I got pregnant, the boss's attitude towards me took a sharp turn for the worse, and first accused me of disregarding my husband's family. The company is now in a heavy business situation. Without the company's consent, she got pregnant privately without any sense of responsibility. She also asked me to have a serious reaction during pregnancy, with a huge workload as usual, and I wish I could work overtime for five days a week. "
Xiao Ya was pregnant with a serious reaction, and she was not as energetic as before, and she was unable to do her current job at all. Moreover, she did not agree with the company's accusations, thinking that it was natural for her to get pregnant and have children, and there was no need to say hello to the company. The conflicts between the two sides accumulated more and more.
After being fined three times, Xiao Ya was furious and had a big fight with her boss, handed over her resignation, and quit her job. She plans to take good care of her baby, and when the child is born, she will leave it to her parents-in-law for care before going out to work.
Unexpectedly, seeing Xiao Ya quit her job, her mother-in-law felt that Xiao Ya needed her son to raise her during this period, and she was unhappy. She completely ignored Xiao Ya's grandson and actually asked her son and his wife to avoid losing.
When Ye Xuan really followed his mother's orders and even kept saying that it was a natural thing for a woman to have children, Xiao Ya was completely disappointed.
"I told my parents that I don't want the child anymore, but I'm determined to divorce. If they stop me again, I will leave completely. They will just pretend that they don't have my daughter! Hearing this, my parents didn't dare to speak anymore. He learned that I was going to divorce and gave up on the child, he quit. He made a fuss for a long time, but the original family of three eventually became one."
04. The most terrible thing is not getting married, but getting married in the wrong way. There is a passage in the movie "The Winner is King" that says this: "She shouldn't marry her parents, she shouldn't hear any rumors outside. She wants to get married after hearing too much, and should think about getting married with the one she likes."
Although her thoughts are much more open now, many parents are conservative, many people are slandering, and like to talk nonsense, thinking that girls should get married when they are old, otherwise they will think in a dark way.
In the end, these gossips and parents' face will turn into huge pressure to urge marriage, forcing girls to cope with these things, act rashly, and enter the siege of marriage without carefully choosing.
As a parent, if you really love your daughter and hope that your daughter will live a happy life, you should understand that the most terrible thing is not not not getting married, but marrying the wrong person.
END.
Today’s topic: Did your parents urge you to get married? What do you think about the AA system of marriage? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
