There is a saying: "Winning the truth between relatives and losing the relationship is the most cost-effective business in the world."
You bring out a lot of big principles to educate him. Although you won in the end, you hurt each other's feelings and the two have a estrangement, and they can no longer get along with each other without any grudges like before. You will find that doing this is not a good deal.
manages interpersonal relationships, and cannot just reason, and easily judge right or wrong. Sometimes, there is no complete right or wrong in a matter, as long as it is in the interests of both parties and one will be willing to do so.
Take the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as an example. Many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law like to compete, especially when it comes to raising children.
The mother-in-law believes that as a grandmother, she has no obligation to take care of her grandson. She is helping her daughter-in-law. Her daughter-in-law should be grateful, respectful, and listen to her. Many mothers-in-law are sick and need someone to take care of themselves. If they feel sorry for their son, they will talk about the matter of raising children and ask their daughter-in-law to take care of themselves diligently.
The daughter-in-law believes that it is natural for grandma to take care of her grandson. The mother-in-law is not helping her daughter-in-law take care of her children, but helping her son take care of her children. Why do you ask her to repay this kindness?
"I am helping you take care of your child, you must respect me and take care of me", "You are helping your son, not helping me, if you need it, you should also find your son, I have no obligation." The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have completely opposite views, so it is natural that they can easily quarrel.
As Tu Lei said in : Why do women make things difficult for women? As for mother-in-law, you have been a daughter-in-law for many years and have become a mother-in-law. Why can’t you understand your daughter-in-law? You have just started to endure your daughter-in-law. One day you will become a mother-in-law. Why bother so competing?
As a mother-in-law, you are a experienced person. You know very well how hard it is for a woman to enter the stage of having a child. She needs to have children and work hard for a career. Why can't you understand your wife and help her when she is in the most difficult time? You are not only helping your daughter-in-law, but also helping your son. If your daughter-in-law is not doing well, will your son still live comfortably?
As a wife, why bother to compete so hard? Indeed, the mother-in-law is the child she takes care of for her son’s sake, but the child is yours, and her help will indeed share some of your pressure. For this reason, if you are sweeter, care more about your mother-in-law and be more filial to you, what's wrong?
"Honey, I took my mom back. Now, mom is making dumplings for us at home. Come back quickly after get off work."
"Okay, I'll go back immediately after get off work. Thank you for your hard work." Seeing the husband's reply, Ms. Hu finally breathed a sigh of relief, and the relationship between husband and wife finally eased a little.
01. I got it and got it, and my husband ran away. My mother scolded me.
In the past ten days, although I encountered the long-awaited National Day holiday, Ms. Hu has been frowning because she was in a cold war with her husband, and the reason is that Ms. Hu made her angry mother-in-law away.
Perhaps, many people will subconsciously think that Ms. Hu’s mother-in-law bullied her daughter-in-law. Ms. Hu couldn’t bear it anymore and got rid of her mother-in-law. She would think that Ms. Hu’s husband was not clear and did not help her, and she would stand on her wife’s side. However, after the mother-in-law left, not only was her husband very angry and had a cold war with Ms. Hu. After Ms. Hu's mother found out, she also scolded her daughter, thinking that her daughter was ignorant and did not know how to respect her elders.
"You damn girl, how do I teach you on weekdays? Be filial, respect elders, and care for your parents-in-law. Where did you remember me? What a good old man your mother-in-law is, you don't cherish how good you are. Do you think so?"
" You have been married for 6 years and have two children. When did your mother-in-law serve you during confinement? When I went to see you, the room was filled with the fragrance of chicken soup. In order to make you eat better, she specially found those chickens, crucian carp, , everything she found in the countryside.I ask you, have you washed your clothes once during your confinement period? Have you touched cold water? Do you have confinement diseases? "
" Which of your two children is not taken care of by your mother-in-law? When they cry the most, when they didn’t sleep with your mother-in-law on that night? Otherwise, you still want to have a stable sleep! "
When she heard her mother's words, Ms. Hu felt speechless. She naturally knew her mother-in-law's goodness, but she really couldn't stand her mother-in-law's mouth.
02. Her dual-standard attitude towards her son and daughter-in-law is always to help me take care of her children, which makes me feel uncomfortable;
Ms. Hu's mother-in-law's biggest disadvantage is that she nagged, and the person she talked about the most was not someone else, but Ms. Hu. Moreover, her words were not very nice, and most of them were criticizing her.
For example, she loved her grandchildren very much and couldn't stand her daughter-in-law getting angry with her grandchildren. Whenever Ms. Hu felt that the child had done something wrong and wanted to slap the table to scold the child, the mother-in-law would protect her and then teach Ms. Hu.
Treating her son and daughter-in-law, Ms. Hu's mother-in-law is relatively double-standard. She thinks that her son has been working for a day and has worked hard. It is natural to go home after work and not doing housework. However, when she saw Ms. Hu lying on the sofa after get off work, she felt very dissatisfied. She thought Ms. Hu was not virtuous, did not do housework, and didn't care about the children. She completely ignored Ms. Hu and also went to work for such a long time.
Also, the mother-in-law likes to talk about the words that I helped you take care of the baby. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't work so hard. When I got old, I would rely on you to take care of her, which made Ms. Hu feel speechless after hearing it.
"Ten days ago, my mother-in-law was sick and hospitalized. At that time, we had not had a holiday and could not take leave. How could she take care of her? Besides, her illness is not serious at all, and it is not as good as someone to guard against. However, she was very angry and accused me of not caring about it at all and talking about the matter of raising children. "
So, Ms. Hu, who was angry, retorted and talked to her mother-in-law about who she helped to take care of the baby, and made her angry back to her hometown.
03. In the past ten days, I finally realized that if my mother-in-law is there, it would be a mess in this family.
After the mother-in-law left, Ms. Hu's husband was very angry and had a big fight with Ms. Hu, and the two of them had a cold war.
At the beginning, Ms. Hu felt very wronged and didn't think she was wrong. She thought it was all her mother-in-law's fault, but soon , she found something was wrong.
First of all, it was the children. Because the children were used to the foods made by their grandmother, and they were used to sleeping with their grandmother. They were busy playing games and not interacting with their children after going to work and getting off work during the day, they didn’t get along with them. Therefore, even though Ms. Hu kept trying to accompany them, they didn’t appreciate it and cried endlessly.
"It’s not good to coax, and they can’t scold them. The more fierce I am, the more fierce they cry. The whole family was filled with the crying of the children, and even the neighbors were alarmed. The look at me was very wrong. "
Secondly, my mother-in-law left, and no one did the housework. When Ms. Hu went to work in person, she found that this housework that was originally very simple in her eyes. She swept the floor, washed clothes, packed things, and cooked a meal. She was even more tiring than going to work after a day.
Finally, eating was also a big problem. Ms. Hu was not good at cooking, and her husband was not good either. No one could eat the food she cooked, so the two had to order takeaway to solve it.
" My husband was cold and the child cried endlessly. I finally realized that it was easier to worry with my mother-in-law. Only when there are children to take care of them and housework are done by someone, can we go to work without any worries. Compared to these conveniences, what is it that she can nag a little? I was wrong. ”
So, Ms. Hu went to her hometown in person to apologize to her mother-in-law. When the mother-in-law, who missed her grandchildren, saw that her daughter-in-law came to pick her up in person, she went down the steps and returned home.
04. Family disputes, there is no need to argue about right or wrong, solving the problem is the most important thing.
Just like a line in " Our Marriage ": Family disputes, conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the most rare thing is that it is difficult to be confused. If you always ask for the root of the problem in this way, the smoke of family discord will always be filled with smoke.
Family and relatives are places where feelings are talked about, not places where reasoning is. If there is a matter of principle, you naturally cannot compromise easily, so as not to think that you have no bottom line and ignore your feelings. However, if it is a trivial matter, you can have less quarrels and less quarrels.
No matter who the mother-in-law is helping to take care of the child, you are the beneficiary and the child is yours. Just for this, it is also yours. It is also yours that you should be grateful to her. If you have a dessert, be more filial and sensible, and make her feel very useful, you will be able to have a harmonious family and everything will be prosperous. If
really doesn't work, you can train a good man, push him out, and let him deal with his own mother. It's always much better than you rushing ahead.
END.
Topic today: Do you think Ms. Hu is wrong? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
