On the road of love, there are so many people crying miserably.
Falling in love with someone who cannot be together is not your fault, nor is it his fault. If you really want to forget it, it is not an easy thing.
So how can I make my heart less painful? Psychologists believe that when facing this situation, we must be "not worth it, no memory" to see the reality clearly.
There is a law of unworthiness in psychology, which means that things that are not worth doing are not worth doing well. This is a psychological effect. Similarly, those who cannot walk together are not worth our choice to persist in.
In the movie "Thirty-three Days of Love Break", it may have just been released, many people wanted to see how the heroine Huang Xiaoxian came out during the thirty-three days of love Break, and how she counterattacked. However, the most rare thing about the movie lies in its authenticity.
If is so beautiful and the promise made is, then the defeat will be at the end.
Huang Xiaoxian and her ex-boyfriend have been in love for seven years for a long time. She always thought she would become his bride, but she didn't think of her best friend and her boyfriend. Looking at him with a happy look, she realized that he no longer loved her.
For those who cannot love, the most painful thing is not reality, but the self-inflicted punishment deep in their hearts. It may be the self-fantasy deep in their hearts, or perhaps the memory that has been lingering.
Just like Huang Xiaoxian's own monologue, she said: "For the memories that cannot be destroyed, I can only find an irrelevant person, do meaningless things, piece them together, and barely cover those memories. Otherwise, will always stand a monument. I would rather sprinkle some blood on it and make it not so beautiful as to be so beautiful."
The learned helplessness after a broken heart will make people depressed and even have mixed feelings. In fact, "As long as there is still love, there will be a broken heart." In the seemingly painful thirty-three days, Huang Xiaoxian gradually noticed the Wang Xiaojian around her.
Perhaps what the video wants to tell us more is: breaking up may not be that terrible. Facing people who are not worth it, there is no ending. Ending may mean a new beginning.
Falling in love with someone who can't be together may be because they are not so in love. Perhaps everyone is used to classifying these into the following factors.
Character differences
In the relationship between the two genders, the majority of couples cannot get together due to personality differences. Even many men and women have their emotional relationships that continue to decline after experiencing the sweet period of love.
The most real side between men and women begins to be exposed, and during this period, they did not tolerate each other, but instead picked and belittled without restrictions and ended up being incompatible with their personalities.
Family Factors
Falling in love with someone who cannot be together is partly due to the role of family factors.
Even though freedom is advocated in love and marriage, there is still a family concept for some families.
For example, the story of Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai that we are familiar with, or Xue Pinggui and Wang Baochuan , they are all hindering the emotional road due to family factors.
But although their love is a bit bitter, they all came together in the end. Nowadays, some people may not be able to really get together in in due to some family factors that show .
It may be because of some house problems, economic problems, or work problems that the two broke up, and the objections of both parents have become the key point that dominates their love.
Love triangle
There was once a female reader who fell in love with a male colleague while at work, but she did not express her emotions, but often cared about her in the details.
It’s winter, I put a cup of milk tea on his desk and bought him sunscreen in summer. When he was working overtime, she chose to work overtime with him.
This male colleague is very grateful to the female reader for everything he has done for him, but his feelings are just to treat the other party as a good friend of .
And this reader also knows that it is impossible for him and him, but he likes him in his heart. Every time she sees this male colleague and his girlfriend posting on Moments, she feels very uncomfortable. She is both jealous and feels so shameless.
Obviously this is a sad love, because this female reader fell in love with someone she shouldn't love. At this time, she did not choose to let go, but instead put her obsession into this relationship.
The love between two people is happy. Once the love of the third person is mixed with, it will inevitably be miserable.
When we encounter the above situations, we obviously fall in love with someone who cannot be together. Perhaps the reason behind it is because you are not in love with each other enough, so you easily choose to give up when facing difficulties.
When you fall into an obsession and you become depressed and miserable because of this relationship, you may be thinking about this love and the value relationship between you.
First of all, Do you have to think about whether you love her enough? What kind of attitude does she have towards you? What kind of consequences will you have even if you two are together?
The second point, You need to think about what factors make you feel that you two cannot be together. If this factor is excluded, can you really go together?
Finally, When you think about the above problems, you will find that this relationship is no longer worth your entanglement and nostalgia, because this relationship does not bring you the result and motivation you want, but instead makes you stay in pain and stop moving forward. Blindly persisting instead of giving up
Reference materials: "Love Psychology", "Subconscious"
