In a marriage relationship, trust is a constructive emotion that can make the relationship between husband and wife stronger, while suspicion is a destructive emotion that can make the originally stable marriage relationship fragmented.
In psychology, there is a famous "self-professional prophecy effect", which refers to:
applies the "self-professional prophecy effect" in marriage and love relationships. We can also come to the conclusion that the more trusts your partner, the more loyal the partner will be to themselves, and the more suspicious you are of your partner, it will push your partner to the brink of betrayal.
From this we can see that in a marriage relationship, couples should trust each other, but in real life, some people cannot do this. It is precisely because they are too suspicious of their partners and always like to test their loyalty in absurd way that they will mess up their originally happy marriage.
Chen Ting (pseudonym) and her husband Li Yu (pseudonym) have been married for 2 years. They have a 20-month-old son together. In the eyes of outsiders, they are a couple of handsome men and beautiful women, and have an enviable marriage life. But when the couple lived behind closed doors, they quarreled constantly due to disagreement in their personalities.
It turned out that Li Yu was a handsome young man. At a friend's party two years ago, Chen Ting was attracted by his handsome appearance, so the two left each other's contact information. After a while, the two established a relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend.
Because Li Yu is tall and handsome, Chen Ting joins hands with him to enter the palace of marriage without knowing him. The two only took 6 months from acquaintance to getting married.
But after the two got married, Chen Ting's dream of a happy life like a prince and a princess did not appear, but what was revealed in front of her was a mess.
Chen Ting said that not only did Li Yu not have the ability to make money, but he also had a bad temper. He often punched her, making her live in pain.
When Chen Ting wanted to end this marriage, she found that she had children. Since the situation was done, she could only go with the flow.
After hearing his wife's story, Li Yu seemed very angry. He said to Chen Ting, Why did I attack you? It’s not because you are not loyal to marriage.
Li Yu's words made Chen Ting excited. She said something incredible. She said bluntly that after marrying Li Yu, she had never received Li Yu's consideration and care, and felt very lonely emotionally. Li Yu actually drove her to a hotel and asked her for another boy.
Chen Ting felt that since Li Yu did not object to her doing unfaithful things, she could not be considered betrayal of the marriage.
But in response to this, Li Yu said that the reason he did this was just to test Chen Ting's loyalty. He thought Chen Ting would not go, but he didn't expect Chen Ting to go.
At this time, Chen Ting broke out another jaw-dropping thing. She said that because she could not get emotional satisfaction in Li Yu, Li Yu agreed to her be in ambiguous relationship with others, but the premise was that Chen Ting wanted to make money back, which was also a material comfort for Li Yu.
After hearing Chen Ting's words, Li Yu said that he had never said that, because no one would want his wife to betray him.
Facing the mediator, Li Yu also expressed his true thoughts. Li Yu said that Chen Ting is not a settled wife, she is particularly playful, which is also the reason why he often quarrels with Chen Ting, because he does not believe that Chen Ting can become a good wife with peace of mind.
But in this marriage life, Chen Ting also had unspeakable bitterness. She said bluntly that her husband was not able to make money. If she saw the child at home, she would ask her husband for money with her palms upward, and her husband would be treated coldly. But when she went out to work, her husband would suspect that she had an ambiguous relationship with other colleagues of the opposite sex, which made her in pain.
It turns out that Li Yu is a boy who doesn't know how to manage finances. After he got married to Chen Ting, he still carries a lot of foreign debts. Even the car he drove at this time was bought by Chen Ting's father when they got married.
Whenever Li Yu and Chen Ting quarrel, Chen Ting would re-mentioned old things, saying that Li Yu was financially dependent on himself, which made Li Yu angry, and the quarrel between the two became even more fierce.
Chen Ting felt that it would make no sense to live with Li Yu until now. She didn't want to accompany Li Yu to suffer every day. As long as Li Yu was willing to let her go, she was willing to give all the property in her marriage to Li Yu.
In this regard, the mediator stated that the issue of property distribution requires litigation negotiation and is not such a casual matter. Moreover, the two have a son, and Chen Ting should carefully consider the issue of marriage.
Li Yu also said that as long as Chen Ting can be at peace and loyal to her marriage, he will definitely treat Chen Ting well in the future.
But Chen Ting said that Li Yu’s promise has not been once or twice, and she is unwilling to believe Li Yu again, and her determination to break up with Li Yu has been made.
Li Yu was helpless about this. He said that he would resolve the relationship and property entanglement with Chen Ting through litigation.
At this point, the marriage story between Chen Ting and Li Yu was declared over.
Emotional analysis:
Regarding marriage, the writer Balzac once said this:
The inspiration brought to us is: If a couple wants to have a happy marriage, they first need to understand each other.
In the story of Chen Ting and Li Yu, Chen Ting hastily obtained the marriage certificate with her only 6 months because of Li Yu's handsome appearance. The couple's lack of understanding of each other has laid hidden dangers for their future marriage crisis.
Chen Ting is a cheerful and playful girl. She doesn't want to live in a restrained environment, while Li Yu is a person with a lot of suspicion. He can't stand his wife's slight betrayal. It is precisely because the two of them have the same personality and power, so it is difficult for them to get along well together.
Li Yu also did not understand Chen Ting enough, which was reflected in his suspicion of Chen Ting. He used absurd ways to test his wife's loyalty. Not only did he not make his wife feel belonging to him, but instead made his wife become more and more disgusted with him.
In my opinion, if Li Yu could trust his wife more and be able to cultivate feelings with his wife in his marriage life with an open-minded love, then their marriage relationship might be more harmonious.
Marriage needs to be managed. Only love and trust can make the marriage relationship stronger.
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