author/Chiyu
A girl, she finally fell out of love. The reason why
is used finally is because this relationship is no longer in the status quo.
She came to chat with me, and her words were full of similar complaints and confusion: I don’t understand why I met such love and such a person? Am I not treating him well? Why is he doing this to me? Everyone is sincere, can't we have a good relationship?
She must have the answers to these questions herself.
First, is she good to boys? is definitely good. She said something. They had only been together for three months. During these two months, she basically went to find the boy for dinner, gave him some things, and tried every means to make him happy, just like playing tricks.
But despite this, there are still many conflicts between them. For example, she found a place to hang out on weekends, prepared relevant strategies, and looked for boys to hang out with, but he was not willing to go out. And is there anything special about boys? No, sometimes he just wants to play games at home, or he just doesn't want to go out alone.
The attitude of boys towards her can be said to be quite rampant in my opinion.
When he didn't want to go out, he didn't want to find any reasons or excuses at all. He just told her: You can go out alone, I don't want to go.
She said: But, I have been working on the strategy for a long time, and you suddenly can’t talk anymore. What's the matter with you?
The boy said: It’s okay, I just don’t want to go suddenly. You can go alone.
Next, she worked hard for a long time. To put it bluntly, the boy would rather lie on the bed and play games than go out, and he still felt at ease even if he broke the appointment at the last minute. She will definitely be angry at this time, but just like before, she is usually just sulking alone. The boys ignore her at all, let alone say a few words to her, and she is sad there for a day or two. I will continue to look for him in the future.
I can't help but say she has no future.
She said, I thought so myself, but I just couldn't bear it at that time.
Now, she has not completely come out, but at least she is much more rational than at the beginning, so she can actually start to analyze in detail with me the reasons why the last relationship failed.
After thinking about it for a while, she came to the conclusion: I seem to be too good to him.
Originally, in an intimate relationship, each other must be good to each other. This is a basic condition. If you are not good to me, why should I be with you? Am I deliberately looking for trouble when I am sick? Therefore, being kind to each other willingly and from the bottom of your heart is actually a logical and natural thing.
But everything really depends on a degree. There are two idioms that say that when things go to the extreme, they will overflow. If the water is full, it will overflow. If anything exceeds a certain limit, it will definitely fly away in the opposite direction.
The same is true in love.
If you are generally nice to him, the other person may feel flattered and feel that you are a girl who deserves to be treated well. If you add a few points to this kindness and turn it into a better one, then the other person may be in this kindness. , gradually lose yourself, and even start to have the mentality of taking it for granted; if you sublimate again on this basis and become super good, then the other party's mentality at this time may be "I am so awesome, she actually likes me so much" "
If you like him very much and the other party sees it, it will lead to a result: He will stop on the spot and enjoy the result. What does
mean? In other words, he has realized that he doesn’t have to pay anything to get your super love, so why does he need to do anything extra?
This is not a scumbag, this is just the most basic human nature.
When we realize that something already belongs to us, we will definitely not spend a lot of money on it.
She made such a mistake. She wanted to write the four words "I like you" on her face, and she almost emphasized it again in a day. Therefore, the relationship between the two of them moved forward very quickly, and it was official for the first time. When on a date, boys are suspected of being handsy. Why does he dare to do this? It must be because during the chat, her words and actions had already given off the signal that she liked him very much, so he automatically skipped the previous stage of trying to establish a relationship and went straight into a relationship.
As a result, once he fell in love, his enthusiasm basically disappeared, leaving her alone to enjoy the joy of love. At this time, she began to compromise and give in. In order to maintain the relationship, she kept doing things to please him. The more she behaves like this, the less boys take her seriously.
However, he definitely didn’t say breakup either.
She fell into a misunderstanding again at this time. She began to press him for an answer, asking him all day long if he didn't love her, and asking him to say that he loved herself. She started crying and making trouble, and gradually pushed the relationship between the two into a dead end.
The boy quickly wanted to run away from her, but she chased after him, treating him well while continuing to ask questions, and sometimes she continued to be hysterical. She thought that she was so kind to him, why didn't he appreciate her and still dislike her?
But the boy said: I beg you, can you let me go?
These words really hurt her heart deeply.
What I want to tell all girls is that after establishing a relationship, a woman really doesn’t have to be nice to him. She just needs to give a man 3 things, and he will naturally continue to love you deeply.
01. Dress up to be pleasing to the eye;
This is super, super important.
In the early stages of a relationship between two people, you absolutely need to maintain your personal image at all times and dress yourself up to be pleasing to the eye. This will make you very confident and make the other person feel that they will look good when they go out.
There are some people who always emphasize the role of spiritual beauty and choose to ignore the positive role of appearance.
But in fact, why should you deliberately ignore this truth: As long as you are a human being, whether a man or a woman, everyone’s eyes are the same and they will appreciate beautiful things. As long as they see something good-looking, their eyes will light up and they want to go Chase hard.
This is obviously a human instinct.
people sometimes say some high-sounding words in order to shape their personal image outside. When you ask some people what their criteria for choosing a mate are, probably nine out of ten people will answer you that good personality and correct outlook on life are the most important. This is a standard answer.
But when they see a handsome guy or a beautiful woman, most people will follow their facial features. As long as the other person is willing, they can even think of the names of their children in the next second.
Of course, this statement is a bit exaggerated. I just want to say, don’t deliberately ignore the importance of appearance. After the relationship stabilizes in the later period, the bond that maintains your relationship may be completely replaced by other things. At this time, appearance does not play an important role, but in the early stage, no one cares about it. at this point.
try to make the most of the appearance based on the existing ones.
Regardless of whether it is a boy or a girl, a clean and eye-catching appearance can definitely be the icing on the cake and get twice the result with half the effort.
02. Express your attitude of admiring him;
What a man needs most in an intimate relationship is affirmation, adoration, and your attitude of appreciating him.
Your mentality is really useful at this time. To put it bluntly, after confirming the relationship in the early stage, you do 10 nice things for him like an old scalper, instead of saying 10 just words of appreciation to him.
This is not the kind of exaggerated compliment, which is too easy to see, but in the details of life, appropriately praise him for some things he has done, his words, deeds and thoughts, or to make him agree with your thoughts without leaving any trace. .
For example, I have a good friend. When her husband met her, he was a housework idiot who couldn't do anything. Now he has grown into a representative housework decathlon player.
Her husband is also willing to do this. She didn't use an accusing or commanding tone to ask him to do this or that, which could easily lead to rejection. What is particularly clever about her is that she encourages him and affirms him so that he gradually begins to enjoy the process and her praise, and gradually begins to form a habit.
Why is it that a woman's good qualities may not be as good as some frivolous words?
Because as a man, he is actually used to women treating him well. The goodness of
must first come from the mother.
Even your kindness to him is definitely not as good as his mother's meticulousness. Therefore, as long as the time is a little longer, when you assume the same role as his mother, all your efforts will be rationalized, and he will not be grateful, but will think that these are things you should do.
Remember, you are not his mother, and you do not need to greet him like an old lady. If you position your personal role incorrectly, you will inevitably make yourself awkward and passive in the subsequent interactions. s position.
03. Create a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere for getting along;
I have asked many boys what is the standard for them to measure the suitability of two people in the first place. Most people’s answers are basically the same, which can be summed up in four words: Get along comfortably .
Being comfortable with each other is easy to say, but difficult to do, because in an intimate relationship, if you want to achieve this state, what actually needs to be tested is the most fundamental values of two people, as well as their attitude towards life, and Subliminal emotions when faced with conflicts in intimate relationships.
's comfortable attitude towards getting along. If you talk about it in detail, refers to yourself in this relationship. It is not depressing or painful, but has a feeling of spring breeze and naturalness.
In this state, there will be a mentality of wanting to continue the relationship. It comes naturally and is based on reality.
In contrast, if you are uncomfortable getting along with someone, it will definitely be monotonous, boring, awkward, and you may even want to escape.
Therefore, it is really important to have this comfortable atmosphere.
The girl we discussed above ended up seriously stepping on the bottom line in this relationship. Because when her relationship was not stable enough and the boy didn't love her enough, she was already at a disadvantage and she kept asking him for answers. To put it bluntly, the boy may not be able to give her the answer she wants at this time, because the relationship has not yet developed enough. If he wasn't a man who tells lies with open mouth and lies with open eyes, he would most likely choose to remain silent at this time.
At any time, for anything, do whatever you want to do at whatever stage you are at, and don’t mess up the order. If you advance this stage, it will definitely lead to chaos.
To put it bluntly, she puts a lot of pressure on the man, and this pressure will make him want to escape from the relationship before the situation can be controlled.
He would think: It’s just the beginning, she’s like this, what if we continue talking? It's better to stop it as soon as possible.
This is just like when you play a game. The first levels must be simpler to let you pass them step by step, and then slowly increase the difficulty in the later stages to attract you to keep playing. If the first level you encounter makes you scratch your head, If you lose a lot of hair, you will definitely feel frustrated and run away without wanting to continue playing.
Regardless of life or love, some principles are always the same. It depends on whether you can understand it, whether you are willing to understand it, and whether you can integrate it and make relevant adjustment strategies in time.
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