I received a call from a friend yesterday. She told me that she was getting divorced. I was quite shocked, but I didn’t say anything. If it were ten years ago, I would definitely have said, for the sake of your children, never take this road! But now my view on marriage has changed, and this change has been completed unconsciously. I watched them fall in love, get married, give birth to a son and a daughter, and then, seemingly suddenly, reach this stage. But as a woman, I especially understand the hard work and difficulty of this friend's married life.
In the past few years since my friend got married, in order to supplement his family income, he worked early in the morning and stayed late at night, running around selling bedding products, studying for the civil service exam with his first-born child, and finally got a gold medal in the fourth exam, by a A temporary worker jumped over the dragon's door and became a civil servant in a government agency. During this period, had a caesarean section and gave birth to a second child. Then, through his brilliant mind and down-to-earth spirit, he was promoted to a deputy section-level leading cadre of the unit by the organizational department.
Having a car and a house, children and a successful career, life seems to be going smoothly, but who can truly appreciate the bitterness in it?
Most men feel that a woman leaves because of the man's material poverty. In fact, I know that many times, it really has nothing to do with material things. It is very sad that this man is not only poor, but he also does not know how to feel sympathy for the woman who takes care of the housework and has children for him. The strong idea of male superiority and female inferiority dominates. Could it be that the woman who married him owed him something in his previous life? Have you come to his house to work as a cow or a horse in this life?
Some people compare the relationship between men and women in marriage to a pas de deux , which may advance or retreat, but the general direction must be the same. But how difficult is it to drag a dance partner who can't move forward? As a man, he trembles at small things and avoids big things. He cannot support a family for his wife and children, and often creates some troubles. He always blames the women around him from the perspective of a mother. Just one thing is enough to chill me: When my eight-year-old daughter asked for a red envelope from her father during the Chinese New Year, the man actually said: Why should I give it to you? I can't bear to imagine how sad the little girl was at that time!
Even though I have many thoughts in my heart, I am not good at judging other people’s marriages. I just said to her gently: No matter which choice you make, I understand you!
chatted for nearly an hour. From beginning to end, I never said the four words "don't leave." Do you understand my approach?
