Someone once said: "We spend a lifetime waiting for our parents to apologize to us;
Parents spend a lifetime waiting for us to say thank you, but we don't get what we want."
Some people spend their entire lives waiting. Not even a "I'm sorry" from my parents.
But recently I discovered that there are still some people, even if they are bruised and bruised by their parents, they still don't want to let their parents say "I'm sorry" themselves.
Because in their hearts, everything is their own fault.
Xiaowei is like this.
Her parents divorced when she couldn't remember. After her mother remarried, there was no news at all.
For a long time, in Xiaowei's mind, her mother's appearance was as blurry as a fog that could not be dispersed.
His playful and idle father often liked gambling and had no time to take care of Xiaowei on weekdays, so he left her to the care of his elderly grandparents.
She personally experienced another failed marriage of her father. From marriage to divorce, she watched it all. In the process of her transition from fear to being able to accept a new mother, he never stopped to pay attention to Xiaowei's extreme lack of love. Soon after, a new family was formed again.
She has a half-sister and a half-brother. She is very good to her brothers and sisters, because she is used to being kind to everyone, because her grandma always educates her. Only in this way can new mothers not I will hate myself!
For more than 20 years, Xiaowei has grown up stumbled in an environment characterized by the absence of maternal love and the emotional neglect of her father.
is already twenty-five years old this year, and her grandma is beginning to worry about her marriage. She has been arranged on various blind dates. I don’t know why, but she always wants to escape. She hates being picked here and there by others like a commodity!
I was also roped in to become a lobbyist, but I don’t know where to start. Every time I see her trying her best to take care of other people, I feel full of pity!
I asked her: Have you ever hated your father?
I thought she would vent her bitterness and curse her parents.
However, she told me: Just like that, maybe there is no such burden as me, which increases the pressure of life, and maybe their relationship will not break up at that time, making life a mess!
Obviously, she was the one who was hurt the most and suffered the most among her father's two marriages;
Obviously, she has always been the one to bear the consequences of these two unfortunate marriages alone.
Why doesn’t she blame her father, who personally planted the evil consequences, but instead blames herself?
She told me that she really didn’t want to get married. She felt that few people around her had happy marriages. Her grandparents had been arguing for a lifetime, her father had been married three times, and even her aunt, who loved her the most, had divorced two years ago. Got it! It will all come to that point anyway...
A happy childhood will heal a lifetime; but an unfortunate childhood will take a lifetime to heal!
I failed to become her grandma’s lobbyist. I can only comfort her that if she cannot learn to love others, she must learn to love herself first!
Accept the imperfections of life. After all, there must be cracks in life so that the sun can shine in.
