Although it is said that one should be filial to one's parents. But it cannot be done without measure. Just like the man in the article, in order to be filial to your mother, you actually asked your mother-in-law to take care of your mother. Is this going too far? Just say it's your mother's business. How can you let your mother-in-law take care of your mother? Your mother-in-law is not a servant of your family. What is going on? Why is
like this? Let's take a look at this matter together. At the same time, I hope that through this case, all men will pay attention. You must be filial to your parents in a measured way. Otherwise, tragedy will definitely be waiting for you. The husband asked his mother-in-law to take care of his mother. Husband said it was a family. I said yes, but there are five requirements.
Case story sharer,
31-year-old Ms. Li:
Many people say that I should not impulsively choose divorce. The impulse is the devil. Divorce cannot solve the problem. Divorce will only destroy the family. Especially one of my friends told me, I know everything about you, why are you so impulsive? Can impulse solve things?
You and your husband are divorced. Have you ever thought about not being so impulsive in the future? Not only for yourself, but also for this family. I have nothing to say, I feel like I am not wrong.
Then my friend told me that it is precisely because I am your good friend that I told you this. For the sake of this family and yourself, don’t divorce impulsively. Impulse is the devil and cannot solve the problem. of. And have you ever thought about the problems after divorce? Once you divorce your husband, you will 100% regret it.
What to do with the children after divorce? What should you do with your future life? Have you ever thought about these issues? Do you think divorce is a done deal? There are more problems after divorce. What can I do in the face of this matter? I have no choice but to divorce or divorce. Today I am telling this story, and everyone can help me comment on it. At the same time, I also hope that through this case, those men can pay attention. You can be filial to your parents, but you must be measured.
A few days ago, my husband told me that my mother was not in good health and needed someone to take care of her. Why don't you let your mother take care of you? Your mother doesn't have much to do at home, and since your mother is relatively young, he has the ability to take care of my mother. Your mother taking care of my mother is also an opportunity to exercise.
I refused without thinking. Then my husband told me if he didn’t want to live with me, but my mother is your mother-in-law, and we are all a family. So what happened to your mother taking care of my mother? Just a family helping each other. Finally, I said helplessly, why not let your mother take care of my mother, but let my mother take care of your mother?
There is no place for my mother in your heart at all. You just want to use my mother, right? My husband was speechless. Then I said, although we are a family, you can't just ignore your mother or my mother.
Then my husband told me, if you don’t want to live with me, then don’t let your mother come over. If you want to live with me, let your mother take care of my mother. Not only is it good for you, but it is also good for this family. Do you understand? I told my husband, if you have to let my mother take care of your mother. That's okay, but I have 5 requirements.
The first requirement is to respect my mother’s choice.
After my mother comes here to take care of your mother. No matter what happens, you must respect my mother's choice. My mother can do whatever she wants. If one day he no longer wants to take care of your mother, or if one day he is suffering and tired, he no longer wants to take care of you.
Then he wants to go back, then we must respect his choice. After all, this is my mother's own choice. We cannot interfere, let alone deny him a choice. Think about it from my perspective, if it was your mother who took care of my mother, one day my mother would no longer want to take care of my mother. I will also respect your mother's choice and I will not force your mother to stay. Same thing.My mother no longer wants to take care of your mother, or she wants to go back, or something like that.
We all have to respect my mother's own choice, and she can do whatever she wants. My mother came to take care of your mother, it was just a matter of friendship. It didn’t say that you must take care of your mother, let alone how long you must take care of her. If she wants to take care of her, then take care of her. If she doesn’t want to take care of her, don’t take care of her. You can do whatever you want. This is my mother’s personal matter. . We must respect his personal choice, because he is my mother and I must be responsible for him, so I must make this request.
The second request is, how much does it cost to hire a nanny per month for my mother? How much does it cost per month?
If you hire a nanny to take care of your mother, you will be paid every month. In the same way, if my mother is asked to take care of your mother. Then you need to pay. Hiring a nanny will cost several thousand yuan a month, at least four to five thousand yuan. If there are more
, it may be five, six, seven or eight thousand. Then give my mother money according to the market price. You can give me as much as you say, and you can never deceive my mother. My mother came here to take care of your mother, not just for money. You had to ask my mother to come here.
Then you should give money to my mother, and you have to give money if you invite others, so why can't you give money to my mother? What's more important is that if my mother were to take care of your mother, she would definitely do her best. Not necessarily if someone else is taking care of your mother.
Since you ask others to give you money, and if you don’t necessarily do a good job, then let my mother do it, but you must give money. This money was earned through hard work by my mother. Absolutely cannot occupy it. We can't even default on my mother's wages. Give it to him on time every month. After all, my mother has already given you face by coming here to take care of your mother. If you don't pay me, it won't be justified. Wages must be paid every month, not a penny less.
The third request is to pay back the money owed to my mother.
I guess I borrowed about 200,000 when I bought a house before. Now it's time to pay back the money. What did you say before? You said before that you would pay it back when you have money. Now it is said that it will be within 5 years, but how many years have passed now, more than 6 years and 7 years.
It’s been so many years, you should have the money to pay it back. Even if you don’t have the money, at least you have an attitude towards this matter. Now if you want my mother to come over and take care of your mother, you can. But you have to pay the money back. In the past, you could pay back whatever you owed my mother.
That money was left to my mother by my father, and my mother will have to rely on that money for her retirement in the future. And it is only natural to pay back debts. It is only natural to pay back the money you owe my mother to my mother. This is how the world is. There is nothing that says you don’t have to pay back the money you owe. If this is the case, are there any rules in this world?
Although we are a family, you must repay the money you owe my mother before I do not rush you. Because I thought you were more rejecting, but it’s been so long and you actually forgot about this. Now I have to talk about this. With this money, if my mother doesn’t want to live here, at least she can go back to her hometown.
The fourth request is that my mother only takes care of your mother and will not take care of our family.
My mother would be exhausted if she had to take care of the whole family. There are 5 of us to take care of. If you include your mother, the number will be six. And you just said that you asked my mother to come and take care of your mother, not that you asked my mother to take care of this family.
My mother would be exhausted to death if she were allowed to take care of this family. Put yourself in our shoes and ask your mother to take care of us, okay? I think you don't agree either. So I don't agree with that. After all, my mother has worked hard all her life, and now she has to come and take care of your mother when she is old.
These things are all out of necessity. If I had no choice, I wouldn’t want him to come, and even if I let him come.My mother may not come, she just made it clear in advance. If he comes, he will only take care of your mother and continue to take care of your mother's daily life.
Mother can’t embarrass my mother too much, otherwise I won’t let my mother come over. This is not only my mother’s business, but also this family’s business. If my mother has a bad life here, it will also affect her. If it affects me, it will affect this family. So some things still need to be discussed in advance.
The fifth requirement is that after my mother arrives, you must not sell my mother’s old house.
Although I am an only child. Sooner or later, everything my mother has will be given to me, but I can never sell the old house. Do you think I don’t know what you think? You want to sell my mother's old house. You must have said this to me more than once.
knows that you need money now, but you can't sell my mother's old house. That old house was left to my mother by my father. It is my mother's last resort. If we sell the old house now, , one day my mother doesn’t want to stay here anymore.
Then where will my mother go? These things still need to be considered. After all, that is my mother’s last resort. I am her only daughter. If I am not responsible for her, then who else in the world will be responsible for me? Is the mother responsible?
So I must be responsible for my mother. Even if he comes here and the house is empty, he cannot sell the old house. If there is an old house, my mother can still go back in the future. If not, where will my mother go in the future? Sometimes you don't have to be afraid of something, just be afraid of the eventuality. Therefore, the old house must not be sold, the old house must be kept.
I have these 5 requirements. If you agree, I will tell my mother about this. If you don't agree, I will not let my mother come over. After I finished my five requests, my husband slapped me in the face. My husband said to me, why are you being so unreasonable? I just asked your mother to come over and take care of my mother. Where did you come up with all this nonsense?
Just one sentence, if you agree or disagree, let your mother come over. If you don’t agree, don’t blame me for divorcing you. It’s because you don’t want to live with me. Now you don’t have our family in your heart. If you don’t If you were with our family, you wouldn't embarrass me like this. Aren’t these five requests you made just to make things difficult for me?
I don’t agree with any of them. I cried when my husband slapped me. I told my husband, how could you be like this? If you don't agree, then don't agree, but why do you want to hit me? And what does your disagreement mean?
shows that you asked my mother to come here not only to take care of your mother, but also to trick my mother. If that were the case, I wouldn't be able to let my mother come over. My husband said, there is nothing to talk about, divorce. This is how things are, should I ask my mother to come over when faced with this matter? I absolutely cannot cheat my mother, so I feel that I am not wrong.
Conclusion:
There is nothing wrong with facing this matter, and you must do it. If you don't do anything, who will be responsible for your mother in the future. The five requirements you mentioned are all for this. He is very good, but your husband is a selfish person.
Obviously your husband asked your mother to come here not only to take care of your mother-in-law, but also to sell your old house, or to squeeze out the last drop of your mother's hard-earned money. Otherwise, I wouldn't let your mother come over, let alone force you. Since your husband doesn’t want to live with you, what else is there to say? He must have chosen divorce.
hopes that through this case, all men will pay attention. You can be filial to your parents, but you must be measured. Don't forget that it is your wife who lives with you, not your parents. It's okay to be filial to your parents, but it must be reasonable and never excessive.
Just like the man in the article, his wife divorced him because he went too far. Who can be blamed for this ending? If you hadn't gone too far, would your wife divorce you? I hope this case can make all men pay attention. I also hope that such a tragedy will not happen again, otherwise it will be very pitiful.
