Dear student Xiao Liu: First of all, I would like to congratulate you. After three years of unremitting efforts, you finally graduated. As my last graduate student, your departure also means that I have entered retirement life, and both of us are about to start a new chapter in o

Dear classmate Xiao Liu:

First of all, I would like to congratulate you. After three years of unremitting efforts, you finally graduated.

As my last graduate student, your departure also means that I have also entered retirement life, and both of us are about to start a new chapter in our lives.

Although I am really reluctant to leave you, I hope you can pursue a better life of your own. The instructor has a thousand words and summed up 10 life insights for you, hoping to provide reference for your life.

01 Learn how to get along with your boss

As an ordinary person, whether you are doing scientific research, entering a company, or entering a system, you cannot do without a boss who manages you. Not only that, this boss will often determine your future and destiny, and will also affect your daily mood and mental state.

Therefore, as a graduate student who has just bid farewell to school life, you really need to seriously study how to deal with the relationship with your boss. I have some personal experiences to share with you.

First, you must truly know and understand your boss. Just like when you applied for my master's degree and checked my information in advance, you must have a comprehensive understanding of your boss, including his/her work habits, handling style, specialties and hobbies, etc. The purpose of this is to be able to deal with it calmly and avoid saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, and making low-level mistakes based on knowledge and understanding.

The second is to learn to listen and adapt to your boss. When your boss is talking, you must not take the lead. Instead, you should listen carefully to the content and requirements of his speech, and think about how to achieve his requirements.

The third is to maintain a positive work attitude and improve your ability to solve problems yourself. You should show a positive attitude and confidence in winning when assigned by your boss, and work hard to solve all problems to show your ability to complete tasks independently.

The fourth is to give your boss a sincere and assured image. In front of the boss, pay attention to keeping your word, and the promises you make must be completed on time. Only by becoming a subordinate that your boss can trust will your boss consider your opinions and suggestions and trust you to do great things.

5. Keep an appropriate distance from your boss. You must clearly realize: No matter how kind your boss is to you, the relationship between you is still that of superior and subordinate, not brothers and sisters, and you cannot be treated as equals at all. It is necessary to keep a distance between you, and you must not get carried away because of being reused, otherwise, you will not be able to eat and walk around.

The sixth is to leave the work of showing up to your boss. Chinese people are the best at saving face. Even if it is the result of your work, remember to let your boss earn face and be in the limelight. If your boss sees that you are sensible, do not take credit, and have rules, it will naturally be of great benefit to your future development.

02 Don't be too showy as a person.

Generally speaking, people who have no ability dare not show off, but people who love to show off are just a little clever and smart, and most of them are half-capable. People who are overly flamboyant appear to be overachievers, sharp-edged, competitive, and eager to show off all their abilities to others.

You must know that the serious consequences of publicity are that you expose yourself prematurely, are forced to get involved in vicious competition, become an opponent in the eyes of others, and even become the target of public criticism.

Those things that you should get or can get with your efforts may also become a cooked duck and fly away. If not, you may be tricked by some people and become an innocent victim of a fight. As a truly smart and mature person, you should behave and do things appropriately, and integrate your abilities and talents into the ordinary and normal.

03 Work harder on speaking.

Tutor, the most regrettable thing in this life is that he is not very good at speaking and has been confused all his life.

First of all, I didn’t learn Mandarin well, and my speaking was too poor, which affected the communication between teachers and students, and between teachers, but this was only second.

The most terrible thing is that some things that should be said are not said, and a lot of things that should not be said are said. What he said is not specific, not in place, and not interesting. I have been engaged in scientific research in schools for nearly 30 years, and practice has taught me a truth: doing a good job is the foundation. If you want to make rapid progress, in addition to objective factors, you must have "quick legs, sharp eyes, and a sharp mouth".

Among these 6 words, the most difficult thing is "mouth work". Whether a person is successful or not depends to a large extent on one mouth. The knowledge in it is very great. It is the result of a lifetime of experience, Failure is elusive.

You must learn to speak. The first thing is to speak less. Right and wrong are all caused by speaking more. You must understand that "silence is golden". If you can't say anything, try not to say it. If you can say less, never say more.

The second thing is to speak accurately. Absolutely don’t say anything about unfounded hearsay, news about other people, or unclear logical levels before thinking clearly about it.

Again, before you say anything, you must understand the target and the occasion to determine the content, length, and expression of what you say. It is best to say famous quotes or classic aphorisms, say something thoughtful, insightful, profound, and meaningful. It can hit the nail on the head and make people remember endlessly, and achieve an amazing effect. This is really A master of conversation.

04 Be confused when you should be confused.

Being confused is rare and is a sign of a person’s maturity. This is determined by the limitations of personal experience and is also necessary for the complexity and change of society.

There are thousands and thousands of people and things that a person has experienced in his lifetime. If you treat everyone and everything so seriously and clearly, and want to ask why, it will definitely be very tiring and heavy.

However, if you continue to be confused, you are a fool, and if you are not confused about anything, the consequence is that you are ignorant of current affairs and end up alone.

Therefore, when it comes to confusion, the key is whether you should be confused. So, what should you be confused about and what should not be confused?

I personally think: Be confused on small things, but not on big things; Be confused on the process, but not confused on the results; Be confused on the surface, but not confused on the inside; Be confused in adversity, pretend to be confused in good times, don’t be confused when it is valuable, and be careful when it is meaningless. Confused .

In other words, you must adhere to the principles you should adhere to, but when it is time to compromise appropriately, just turn a blind eye and let others get by, and allow yourself to get along, so that you can achieve something.

05 You pay for yourself every day

You know, your master is famous among school professors for drinking. When he was young, he was competitive, never showed weakness, and refused to admit defeat, and he became famous for drinking. But people often say that alcohol damages the liver, but he didn't feel anything at first.

Unexpectedly, in the past two years, his liver disease has become more and more obvious, and he has to take liver medicine every day, which reminds people of a famous saying: In life, you pay for yourself every day.

"paying the bill" here means that people must be responsible for their own actions.

Everything a person does has a causal relationship. It can be said that there is no irresponsible behavior in the world, especially in major and sensitive matters. Once you choose and do it, the bill will start.

No one can avoid this. The difference is that sometimes this kind of payment is more obvious, and sometimes it is not so prominent. Instructor

believes that as an ordinary person, it is not difficult to distinguish which items should be bought and which items should not be bought, and not to buy items that should not be bought. It does not require much effort or cost. As long as you grasp your willfulness and desires, this is not a general principle, but a law.

06 Do what you say, do what you say, this is the basic business rule.

No matter what industry you work in in the future, as long as you work in that industry, you must do that industry seriously, talk about that industry, be responsible for that industry, and make contributions to that industry.

Do what you do and love what you do. This is not only the rule of the industry, but also the minimum character of a person.

The concept of mentors is relatively traditional, but I want to tell you that you must be authentic, reasonable, and repay kindness.

Just tell me what you are doing. For example, if someone hires you to sell melons, you have to find ways to sell them quickly and in large quantities to strive for good profits for the employer who pays the wages.

When you are hawking, try to say the melon is sweet. Even if it is not that sweet, you should not tell customers that the melon is broken. Don't be fooled, which will scare the customers away. This violates the rules of the industry. This kind of behavior is wearing other people's clothes, taking other people's wages, standing in other people's houses, eating other people's food, drinking other people's water, but smashing other people's pots.

The instructor is just reasoning. He is not asking you to help your boss make ill-gotten gains, nor is he asking you to cheat. He is just making sense.

Actually, conversely, since you know that the melon is not sweet, the boss is probably trying to deceive people, and you have every right not to sell the melon.

are different and do not work together. There are many trades in the world, and there is no need to hang yourself from a tree selling melons. If you are not employed by him and then expose his cheating behavior, this is justice.

07 Girls, you must keep your thoughts to yourself

As a gay person who is much older than you, the instructor would like to say that society’s views and requirements on girls and boys are very different.

The same thing, if it happens to a boy, people will not take it seriously and will forget everything about it in a few days. But if it happens to a girl, it will not only spread thousands of miles immediately, but may even affect a lifetime.

Girl, when you are now 25 years old, you have more and more secrets in your heart. Most of them are emotional, and they change quickly. Some are reasonable, but most of them are random thoughts.

It’s okay to think about some things in your heart, but don’t talk to others, even your close friends.

If a girl can keep her thoughts and secrets secret, she has added a security firewall. Most of the disputes that arise between women are due to the inability to keep their own thoughts or secrets. Often the speaker is unintentional and the listener is intentional.

The person you have confided in may become a problem for you due to various reasons, and may even make you unable to hold your head high, afraid to go out, or unwilling to see people.

08 I wish you can be a good wife

As a wife and mother, I sincerely wish you can be a good wife!

Why do you hope you can do this? What I am afraid of is that you will not do it well, but this matter is very important and will affect your life, so I give you five suggestions.

First, don’t have too high expectations for your mother-in-law. You must not think that as someone's daughter-in-law, she must be nice to you. You have to understand that you took away the son that someone has raised for more than 20 years. It would be good if you don't hold a grudge against you.

The second is to learn to be considerate of the mother-in-law's mood. She was pregnant in ten months, and her son was pooped and peeed every time. What would it be like to marry a daughter-in-law and forget about her mother? If you think about it, if it were your future son doing this, you would feel really uncomfortable. Therefore, you should be more humble and care less.

The third is to respect and care more about your mother-in-law. Human hearts are made of flesh, learn to influence them with your heart. Ask her to sit down first when eating; give her a hand to help her when getting in or out of the car; put down what you are doing and give her a hand; when you come back from outside, bring some gifts to show your respect. The importance of courtesy is more important than affection. It's the intention.

Fourth, you cannot compare your parents-in-law with your parents. You can be willful and coquettish in front of your parents. I guess your parents will be very happy. This is a kind of fun between family members. But this is absolutely not okay with your parents-in-law. What you let them see should be your sensibleness, diligence, filial piety and care.

The fifth is to learn to praise your mother-in-law. When you are chatting with relatives, friends, neighbors, or colleagues about your family and your family, you should talk about your mother-in-law, think about your mother-in-law, and praise your mother-in-law. This is a smart move for a good daughter-in-law. But the average petty girl will definitely not be able to do it.

09 Never take advantage

You must understand: There is no free lunch in the world; the result is that you take advantage and suffer a big loss.

In the mild case, it will leave a stain on your life; in the serious case, you will pay for it with your whole life. Never take advantage of others, it should become a philosophy of your life.

What I call "a small bargain" does not lie in its size or quantity. The key is the psychology of "taking advantage".

Many girls will be coaxed into the pirate ship because of the temptation of some needles and threads. By the time they regret it, it is already too late. What they end up with is either humiliation or dumb loss.

In terms of how to prevent it, you just need to remember: Anyone who lets you take advantage has an agenda. It can be said that more than 95% of cases are like this, but the manifestations are different.

You must remember: There are not many people in this world who are stupider than you, but there are many people who regard you as a fool. The bargain gives you today, he will definitely get back several times tomorrow. If you are soft-spoken and short-handed, you will not be able to escape!

10 Cherish what you have

You are the last student sent away by the tutor, and I will retire soon.

I often look back on the good times I had as a graduate student, and I especially regret that I didn’t do many things that I could have done. It’s really a pity, but it’s a pity that I don’t have the chance now.

However, this also made me understand: In life, you must cherish what you already have in your hands, play its due role, and do not waste time.

People often have this problem. They don't know how to cherish what they already have, but instead pursue what they don't have.

The easier it is to get something, the less you know how to cherish it; the more unavailable something is, the more you cherish it.

What is cherishing? It means cherishing and cherishing. When valuing, we should protect it without wasting it; when we cherish it, we should do it fully but not excessively.

After careful reflection, if a person can cherish what he already has in his hands, life is actually very rich. It can be said that you have got the most beautiful things in the world.

Okay, let’s stop here!

Come back to school often in the future and wish everything goes well!

The mentor who has been with you for three years